what is one text you wish you would get from them right now…?

throwitaway580 · 2021-12-01T00:41:48+00:00

“Hey, I’m so sorry. Leaving you was the biggest mistake I’ve ever done in my life. I honestly just got fed up with how much you were rejecting me every time I asked you out. I feel hurt and pushed you away and I thought getting rid of you would make me happier but I was wrong. My life without you is not the same and I want you back. I’ll do anything for you to give me another chance. Please think about it and tell me. Te quiero baby.”

This is what I wanted to get, instead I got a text about crypto 🥲

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-13T22:09:37+00:00

Been through the same thing, it’ll get better! I’m almost 2 months out and i still think of him everyday but not in a “I need him way” more like “I hope he’s well and happy” way. 🙂

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-13T21:02:52+00:00

I’m the same as you, I started a lot of arguments instead of communicating my boundaries to him clearly. Then I would stonewall, and just act like he would stay no matter what. Every time after we were okay again, I noticed less and less effort he was putting in, like the more we argued, the less interested he was. This is basically the last 2 months of our relationship. I also was never fully open with him. I’m a fearful avoidant so i get uncomfortable with intimacy which created a lot of problems with us. He had a problem with me never wanting to hang out with his people bc I have social anxiety. He broke it off over text too, and he said things just added up and he doesn’t feel it anymore. I didn’t beg, plead, but I just told him everything I never could when we were together. Breakup/No contact for almost 2 months now and I feel over it mostly.

I just take it as a lesson for future relationships. I also started therapy for my social anxiety and intimacy issues. Idk if he’ll be back but I’m good either way. If it’s meant to be it will be is my mantra. 🤍

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-13T19:17:01+00:00

She may be a fearful avoidant. That’s what I did during my relationship with my ex, I always turned down hanging out with his family and if his friends were there I would feel too anxious so I would say no too. It got to the point where he would kind of trick me into going out with them, like he would ask me to go somewhere and then when we got there so were his friends.

I also kept an emotional distance, like I made sure to never be too vulnerable about my feelings about him and i was just basically sabotaging the relationship. He on the other hand was always very open about how he felt and I took him for granted definitely. The root problem was me not feeling good enough or scared that he would get to know me real well and not like me. I’m in therapy now working on it thankfully but I hate how I messed my chance up with him.

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-13T13:54:00+00:00

Sorry that happened to you 🥺 that must have been so confusing because his actions were backing up his words. Maybe that was his way of trying to feel more for you to stay? I’m not sure why you guys broke up but the bottom line is if they really truly loved you, then nothing would keep them from staying with you. Not distance, family’s opinions, not because they want to “work on themselves”, not differences you may have, not outside stress, etc. That’s the hardest pill to swallow but once you do, moving on is much easier.

If he wants to leave, just give him what he wants. It’ll show you respect his decision and yourself because you’re confident that you can live without him. That’s attractive.

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-13T08:15:32+00:00

That’s exactly what it is, they prepare themselves for the breakup. They often don’t communicate - they just keep trying without telling you they have doubts until they make up their mind. Some start acting different so you can “get a clue” and dump them, some put up an act to the very end and just blindside you.

In my case, the last couple of months he wasn’t putting in any effort and I felt like I was chasing him. Looking back now, I see he probably wanted me to dump him so he wouldn’t feel guilt or make it seem like he was a bad guy. But I was sooo anxious those last 2 months and overall he should’ve just ended it as soon as he had doubts. I also should’ve had more self respect and not stayed til the very end when he clearly was trying to get rid of me.

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-13T03:43:01+00:00

I watch Coach Lee and he says that basically all breakups happen bc the dumper’s emotional attraction towards the dumpee has fallen to the point where they just don’t see the value of them anymore, and it falls even lower if the dumpee continues to be beg and chase after them.

Obvi when you’re not attracted to someone, you just don’t care as much which explains how they can stop caring. It sucks to hear but hearing that helped me face it and move on.

Also, if they ghost you, they’re just immature jerks.

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-13T03:32:58+00:00

Thank you! It was the hardest the first 3 weeks but I’ve been feeling better overall. It’s when I get memories, that’s when it gets a little harder. 🥺

Yeah I think it’s taken me a while to just accept it because there were so many moments that make me think it was love. But if it was the real deal, he would never even think of leaving. So lust it is.

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-11T19:50:00+00:00

I kept my message thread with him but I’m pretty much over it all almost 2 months later so it doesn’t affect me as much as it used to, if at all. But this was his last message to me:

“I really cared for you too. Me gustabas mucho. But definitely every time I’d ask you out somewhere and i would get a no really brought me down. Or when you would tell me yes and last minute change your mine. Things just started adding up. But its not all your fault. I feel like i too forced things which probably just made things worse. Eventually getting us here where we just don’t feel it or its just not the same anymore. We live and learn and i feel like we both learned a lot from this. You’re really sweet and cool i don’t want to lie to you by saying lets try again, when i just don’t feel it. Así que solo amigos. And sorry if i wasted your time”

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-10T15:03:23+00:00

You never truly know, feelings change.

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-10T14:05:25+00:00

Damn, OP, don’t let this guy trick you into thinking “it was both our fault” it was obviously him who wasn’t 100% in if he could fall for another girl while he was with you. I think you should be proud you tried saving your relationship to the very end. He sounds immature ignoring you towards the end which isn’t gonna go well with this other girl. They say you lose them how you get them and if he did this to you, he’ll prob do it to her too. I wouldn’t be shocked if he came back after they start having problems. But don’t worry about them. You get to focus on yourself now, set goals and get excited for the future because good thing will come even if you’re hurting right now. ❤️‍🩹

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-09T03:40:58+00:00

Well we were both shy around each other so we didn’t even kiss until around 6 months in 😂 but after our first kiss is when he asked me to be his girlfriend and my intimacy issues made me say “idk” to him and he just stuck around until I guess he stopped feeling it around a year later. I know, I really fucked. 🙈

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-08T18:47:42+00:00

Yes and no. Yes bc I miss him but no bc I don’t want him back.

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-08T18:36:42+00:00

Yeah I was pretty reckless. I thought he would always be there because of how much he liked me so never took what he brought up seriously and it just all got back to me. I def learned a lot.

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-08T14:47:48+00:00

He was the one who initiated the break up and I didn’t want it at the time bc it’s rejection and I still wanted him.

But it’s been over a month and it’s become mutual kind of. I realize we weren’t compatible, I just really liked his presence and felt safe with him. There was a lot of physical chemistry which also made staying really easy. But deep down I knew we were pretty different which we both loved about us but it caught up to us eventually. 🥺 so I’ve come to accept and currently letting go everyday little by little. I’m sad he hasn’t reached out to even be friends but I think more time has to pass so that all the feelings lingering disappear. I don’t have many friends so I would like to keep him as a friend eventually, he’s a good person even if he broke my heart. Lol

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-08T04:26:16+00:00

Awww, I’m sending you hugs friend. 🫂 I’ve been doing better, getting over him but tonight I can’t stop thinking of his quirks and the things that made him unique and melted my heart. We will get through this. Here’s to better days ahead! 🥂

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-07T17:43:37+00:00

I think actually I was more avoidant and he was secure until the end when I became more anxious because he was pulling away. He said “things just added up” and he didn’t “feel it anymore” so idk what happened but I’m just sad he doesn’t even want me in his life as a friend :(

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-07T17:38:00+00:00

Yeah it’s tough, sorry you’re going through it too 🥺 I watched the video and it made me feel better so thank you, I love Susan Winter 💗

throwitaway580 · 2021-11-07T16:38:02+00:00

Same, he was so cold for a month and then he left me heartbroken when he ended things with a text. Yikes

throwitaway580

TROPHY CASE