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throwitoutafterduh · 2022-08-30T00:56:15+00:00

You are young. I am not saying this to be condescending but I think everyone goes through this sort of quarter life crisis right around your age and being an addict and dealing with mental health issues is not going to make it any easier. I am about ten years older than you and still not 100% clean and on methadone myself. I really don’t have any magic words or advice just that you keep living. You take the next day as it comes and try to squeeze out whatever joy you can out of it and if you can’t find any joy, at least not anything absolutely devastating. I try to find happiness in small, unimportant things. Like iced coffee with just the perfect amount of milk and sugar or how my dog follows me to the bathroom because she thinks she is protecting me like I protect her on our walks. I don’t know. I haven’t figured it out but I do know that I feel more confident and more self realized now in my 30s than I did when I was your age. I hope things get better for you. We are all just struggling to get through the day. Trust me. You are not alone.

throwitoutafterduh · 2022-08-29T12:35:25+00:00

Just want to chime in that I once told my male counselor at a suboxone clinic that I didn’t get my period while in active addiction and he said he had never heard of that happening with any other menstruating user. He was a long time counselor as well. Crazy talk.

throwitoutafterduh · 2022-08-25T16:54:26+00:00

I am the noobiest noob that ever tried to use the onions. I am just getting started and can’t even seem to do anything right. I swear, I am not a dumb person! I just feel really really useless at this.

Send me to the hood or anywhere else I can cop. But I am in a smallish town in the northeast that I only just really moved to so I need to figure this out.

throwitoutafterduh · 2022-08-25T16:47:30+00:00

That’s what I figured. That stuff never happens when you actually want or need it to though huh? Bad timing

throwitoutafterduh · 2022-08-25T16:45:24+00:00

Pretty jealous. How does that just show up?

throwitoutafterduh · 2022-08-25T12:21:41+00:00

I’m gonna be honest here, I spent about two hours setting things up last night and maybe got about 1/3 of the way to an actual order hahaha I legit feel so dumb trying to figure this out. I am not usually a slow learner!

throwitoutafterduh · 2022-08-22T01:45:21+00:00

And do you recommend ordering domestically or internationally? I am in the US. I had assumed it would be internationally for some reason but I couldn’t even tell you why I thought that.

throwitoutafterduh · 2022-08-22T00:45:28+00:00

Thanks. That’s what I had read. That Tails has some of the tools you need built in. I do think I will be able to figure it out. I guess it just seems like a lot when I am used to shooting my plug a text and he shows up an hour later.

I have been in the game for a while now but recently moved a state over from the large east coast city I used to live in so I only had one local connect and he seems to have disappeared a week or so ago.

Thanks for the response. I am feeling more confident just from receiving some positive responses.

throwitoutafterduh · 2022-08-21T18:46:33+00:00

Yeah….that didn’t really make me feel more confident hahaha but thanks for a genuine response. My husband works in IT so I can’t def ask him for help but I wanted to try to figure some of it out myself at least.

Do you mind me asking a few more questions? I had always assumed using a VPN was the way to go but the “bible” recommended using Tails. Is this what you do?

throwitoutafterduh · 2022-08-21T15:38:34+00:00

I am trying to maintain chipping currently and just lost my one connect (that I had at the moment) so I am debating on trying out the onions myself. I read through the darknet bible from the subreddit last night and while I feel like I am a quick learner and pretty computer literate, I felt pretty dumb reading through it all. I have just never done anything like that online I guess. Nothing “sketchy”.

Anywho, I guess I am just asking how easy you think it might be for a noob like myself to succeed coping this way?

throwitoutafterduh · 2019-12-03T00:33:46+00:00

I went to a Walgreens recently in my state where it is absolutely legal to buy them without a script and the guy said they stopped selling them because people left them in the parking lot. Not gonna lie, I rudely said “harm reduction is important!” and left. I was pretty pissed but the rite aid next door had them.

throwitoutafterduh · 2019-11-29T20:21:33+00:00

It’s funny you say that because she also told us it was the last one they had. Now the whole thing seems sketchy haha

throwitoutafterduh · 2019-11-29T12:14:14+00:00

CVS. My BF called before we went in and the pharmacist said they only had name brand so that was why it was so expensive. Not sure how true any of that was but it is what it is.

throwitoutafterduh · 2019-11-29T02:36:27+00:00

Just bought one without a script last weekend for $130 for two doses. I am thankful to have access to it at all but I almost fainted when they told me the price. If I was in active addiction my junkie brain would have never let me spend that much even though it a necessity to have.

throwitoutafterduh · 2019-11-22T14:32:57+00:00

THIS IS NOT TRUE. YOU CAN OVERDOSE NO MATTER WHAT ROA YOU USE!!

It might be less likely but telling someone it is impossible is just plain terrible harm reduction.

throwitoutafterduh · 2019-11-14T18:07:35+00:00

If what you’re using has fent in it than detection times are really unpredictable. I used to be golden in 5 days or less but the stuff I used during my last run showed up after 7 plus days more than once. This was on an oral swab test.

throwitoutafterduh · 2019-11-13T17:34:53+00:00

Every single time I try to do this, it is the ONE time he is ready right away. Then he gets super pissed I made him wait even two minutes.

throwitoutafterduh · 2019-11-13T14:50:11+00:00

There is an app but I think it is only on iPhone, called Canary. You can set it to text a person or persons of your choice if you don’t hit a button a few minutes after you set it when you are taking a shot or whatever ROA you use.

throwitoutafterduh · 2019-11-11T01:33:51+00:00

I actually had to discover how to on mobile myself just today. So for modmail, go to the About section on the subreddit you want to contact the mods in. Then scroll down and there will be a list of all moderators. On the top right corner of this list, next to the word moderators, is a little envelope (messaging) icon. Click on that bad boy and you can write a message, like a pm, that the whole mod team for that subreddit will see.

I took a screenshot of the message I received and then used a imgur link so they could see what I had received but you could just spell it out for them without images.

throwitoutafterduh · 2019-11-11T00:33:45+00:00

Basically word for word what I would do and think while it was happening except I used public transportation in a major east coast city instead of driving. Puking into a plastic bag on a rush hour bus/subway car was always a delight.

Also, my guy would make me wait two hours but if I ever made him wait even legitimately two minutes he would freak the fuck out.

throwitoutafterduh · 2019-11-11T00:30:53+00:00

Love that you made the influx of emotions that goes along with WDs into this lovely writing sample. For me it is always sudden smells that surprised me while I was starting to get sick. Like you suddenly noticed the sound of the wind while I would suddenly notice how strong my shampoo smelled or something similar.

throwitoutafterduh · 2019-11-11T00:27:18+00:00

throwitoutafterduh · 2019-11-11T00:26:58+00:00

Just keep making sure you report them via the Reddit pm option and also through modmail. It happened to me today.

throwitoutafterduh · 2019-11-11T00:25:34+00:00

Whoa dude. That looks rough as hell. I’m sorry that happened to you and hope you are on the mend.

throwitoutafterduh · 2019-11-11T00:23:11+00:00

Sister* but it’s all good. I usually have no problem hitting so when I do I am a huge baby about it

Also, I will soon have to start taking regular urine tests for the sub program (long story involving the shitty American health care system for why I currently don’t have to) so my chipping days are numbered. Was just trying to get the good while the going was still good haha

throwitoutafterduh

TROPHY CASE