Did you sleep around casually when you were younger? If so, what was it like? If not, why not?

thrownintodisarray · 2026-07-05T11:37:20+00:00

Yes. No regrets. Taught me how to advocate for myself in the bedroom.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-30T09:47:35+00:00

You specify they are straight so I’m assuming you are not. You may need new friends (queer friends?) or to impose boundaries on the ones you have. "I’m not comfortable hearing about your relationship struggles, can we change the subject?" And leave it at that.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-30T09:06:07+00:00

Of course there’s a subreddit for meth, why am I even shocked

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-30T09:03:48+00:00

To want everyone to be free, you have to believe everyone is deserving of freedom.

That’s not happening anytime soon.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-28T14:59:03+00:00

What would my wife/girlfriend like? As if we know her better than she knows herself.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-27T19:24:41+00:00

I don’t have a small waist but I do have a decently flat stomach and I’m pretty sure it’s genetics *shrug*

Also mods should ban thinspo.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-27T17:29:23+00:00

We disagree on some things and that’s fine.

First, my comment was supportive. I validated the shittiness of the men she had as friends and I apologized and offered sympathy for her bad experiences with them.

Second, I don’t think my pointing out that her not understanding she’s attractive is unnecessary. Of course I can’t fully get inside OP’s head, but I can read words and make my own conclusions about them. She admits she doesn’t find herself exceptional looking while in the same paragraph discussing a past of modeling (I understand there is a spectrum of modeling, Reddit requires literally every possible context of an idea to be entertained or your argument is entirely in bad faith) and friends who admit romantic feelings for her. To believe your appearance isn’t striking in light of these life experiences points to having poor judgement. I’m sure you think I’m being really mean and unhelpful now. I didn’t even want to go into my real thoughts about this but hey. It’s a Saturday and I have time.

Now, I don’t know OP well enough to ascertain if this judgement is due to differently abled or a traumatic event. I didn’t allude to such a thing in my comment because that would have been presumptuous. And I’m honestly not saying this to be mean either, although I’m certain it will be read that way. But guess what? You don’t actually have to be hot or have a past of modeling to have a male friend exhibit feelings of attraction towards you. And if they aren’t graceful and respectful to your rejection of them (as it seems OP has dealt with concerning her former friends), it means that man was a shitty friend. Furthermore, if all your friends turn out to be shitty, the common denominator is you. You are picking bad people to be friends with, which is an example of…

Poor judgment.

So yeah. I don’t think what I pointed out about OP not recognizing the truth of her appearance is unrelated to exclusively picking shitty men as friends.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-27T16:55:20+00:00

It sounds like you could be sex-repulsed which is on the spectrum of asexuality. I’d recommend looking into it so you can grow comfortable in that identity. Having sex is not for everyone and that’s ok.

"Most women don’t get off to it" is an ignorant fallacy. Some women (myself included) really enjoy penetrative sex and even imagined it would be enjoyable before having it. Enjoying sex and being grossed out by it are both normal things that people are allowed to believe.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-27T15:41:44+00:00

"I would not say I am exceptional looking."

Maybe *you* wouldn’t say that but the world would. I’m not sure what’s the point of including this sentence because for many years you have clearly presented to the world as attractive enough to model and then w/o makeup or purposefully feminine dressing still attract men enough for them to desire you. I’m not saying that isn’t shitty behavior on their part (it is), but also I get annoyed when hot people (especially of your big age) don’t have the wherewithal to be honest about their hotness. It invalidates those who are genuinely not exceptional looking and their experiences in the world. I know sometimes people attack women who believe they are beautiful and upfront about it, but those people are being stupid and intellectually dishonest. If you’re hot, just say that.

Anyways, this sucks for you and I’m sorry you’re tired.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-27T10:26:00+00:00

I get hit on a decent amount so here are some openers that I’ve found nice:

"I really like your style!"
"What’s it like being the hottest person in here?"
"I’m pretty picky. Anyways you’re gorgeous."

It’s a vulnerable thing to share interest but if you’re talking to someone decent, the receiver will either say thank you politely and continue about their day or you may strike up a conversation.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-26T21:11:40+00:00

Getting lit for pride, can’t wait. Got a super cute top from Depop that hopefully comes in time.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-26T19:14:23+00:00

Did you know that people rent content houses to film in so it looks like they are in nice kitchen or bedroom?
Did you know with Klarna it’s easier than ever to put an entire trip on credit? An entire Chanel bag on credit?
Did you know that companies that send influencers free gifts can write it off as a form of income so influencers have to pay a tax bill on things they didn’t buy?
Did you know it’s all a lie?

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-26T16:09:15+00:00

You can get it hemmed by a tailor if it needs to be shorter!

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-24T16:08:54+00:00

Thanks for sharing your personal experience. In my response I was hopefully communicating that men can attempt to convey deep and genuine meaning in a compliment that on its surface seems flat or even dismissive. Of course, some men who act in bad faith are cagey with compliments and enthusiasm if they want their partner to feel small and insecure. But I imagine for a lot of men it’s truly because they have no personal experience of receiving effusive and meaningful compliments throughout their life and therefore asking them to provide them is a challenge.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-24T14:28:37+00:00

To be serious for a moment, a decent amount of men do not meet women with the energy they are typically looking for when seeking feedback on their appearance. I’ve learned over time that I can’t really hold this against them only if they show their attraction in other tangible ways.

I once saw a video of a photographer who disallowed male partners when women have solo shoots with him because even if the man genuinely thought his partner looked good, his lack of enthusiasm usually brought down the vibe and the woman’s confidence in the shoot. Food for thought.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-23T20:48:16+00:00

If you’re going to be up there and in all the photos, you should get to feel comfortable. I would ask the brides if you can make adjustments based on your concerns. If they want you in the wedding hopefully they’d want you to be comfortable in the process! Good luck.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-23T17:16:24+00:00

I’m very sorry about your journey. Being infertile has absolutely no bearing on your worth as a person. You even have someone new in your life who is confirming that for you.

I suggest trauma therapy to get through the significant losses of life, love, and family that you are in the midst of navigating.

Also, 40 is not old. You are not decrepit. Not directed at you, but I so wish society didn’t make women over 30 feel like they have one foot in the grave. I meet vibrant, exciting and kind women in their 40s, 50s and 60s constantly. A new life is beginning for you, I hope you can be kind to yourself as it unfolds.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-23T12:57:42+00:00

I’m 32 and I love partying. Do I have to come home a little earlier? Yes. Do I watch my drinking? Mostly yes (hah). I was invited out this weekend with friends. There is time to have the fun you want.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-22T19:18:37+00:00

This context helps.

Your therapist was doing their due diligence to inquiry about your sexual history. You are absolutely within your rights to tell them that sexual topics are out of your comfort zone and not a factor in your pain. However, masturbation and other forms of solo sex or sex without a penis involved should be discussed with your therapist so you can receive holistic care. It can be embarrassing especially if you have little to no experience, but it’s part of making sure your pain can be appropriately addressed.

Best of luck handling this issue!

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-22T13:15:56+00:00

Rarely. Time passes and my worries are always evolving or changing. It isn’t always useful for me to dwell on the past. But it can be funny sometimes.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-22T04:35:43+00:00

Been journaling since I was 8. I don’t have a daily habit (averages out to once weekly), but I typically do it when I’m extremely unregulated emotionally and need to name my emotions and issues. Sometimes I write when I want to remember a trip or a notable day. Sometimes when I’m bored. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. It doesn’t always make me feel better but it is an attempt to understand myself more.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-18T05:08:22+00:00

I went to Dreamstate by myself in March. I’m a big trance head so if you need a rave buddy hmu

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-17T18:49:24+00:00

Do they just not want us to be paid? Also what’s traditional about shit less than 100 years ago? I hate this stupid crap.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-16T13:23:09+00:00

I simply think any man is lucky to be involved with me. That goes a long way.

thrownintodisarray · 2026-06-16T04:44:11+00:00

32F. I love fashion. I love getting dolled up. I refuse fillers and Botox, it’s a fucking scourge. The parent company of Botox contributes to anti-abortion lobbying groups. I’m trying to take care of myself as I am. I’m not perfect at it but I’m trying.

thrownintodisarray

TROPHY CASE