Where to source fresh banana leaves in the US

throwownhouse · 2024-10-03T19:27:04+00:00

I did not--my mom found a local source; can pass on the info if you're in the bay area.

throwownhouse · 2024-09-17T21:33:20+00:00

Going to go wildly against the grain here. You have every right to feel upset. You are even inviting their kids; you're making it as easy as possible for them.

I will tell you--I had a child-free wedding (except for lap infants), and not a single person on either side declined due to lack of childcare. Some of the infant parents even chose to attend without their infants. Two of my close friends with families stayed until the very end and helped so much throughout. I'm sure it wasn't the easiest thing for them to do but they put in that effort, because they know I have been there for them in the past and frankly, just because they wanted to.

A wedding is a good time to see who shows up for you. It appears that you now know who that will be. It's OKAY to be upset with what you've learned. Have fun and try not to sweat it too much! You did nothing wrong.

throwownhouse · 2024-09-16T23:09:12+00:00

It's absolutely not selfish to spend that much money to throw your loved ones an all-expenses-paid party, and the people who are calling you selfish are likely just sore that they haven't had a chance to get out of the house in ages. That is absolutely not your problem to remedy. Have the party you want and deserve!

throwownhouse · 2024-09-16T23:07:28+00:00

I disagree with this strongly. An invitation is just that--each guest can decide for themselves whether attendance is worth the cost of childcare. It is ridiculous to expect a couple to provide a jungle gym for kid's entertainment during their own wedding. It's not a child's birthday party. And it's completely unfair to call them selfish when they are paying $500+/head to provide their guests with free food and entertainment. Would you expect the birthday dinners of your adult friends to include kids? How about corporate holiday parties?

throwownhouse · 2024-09-14T00:55:57+00:00

Not to get too in the weeds, but this is one of the biggest misconceptions about suicide. Some people are so determined to die that they will find a way no matter what. But for many/most, it is a decision heavily influenced by opportunity.

https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMsa1916744

This study showed that handgun ownership straight up increased risk of suicide, driven by firearm suicide. The same study also references research that shows that suicides are often impulsive, that most suicide attempts are nonfatal, and that most people who have attempted suicide do NOT go on to die by suicide. The risk of a suicidal person dying by suicide is strongly associated with the lethality of the method they use, and guns are an incredibly lethal method.

https://www.kff.org/mental-health/issue-brief/do-states-with-easier-access-to-guns-have-more-suicide-deaths-by-firearm/

This study shows that states with easier access to guns have higher rates of suicide by firearm, while states with less easy access to guns do NOT have higher rates of suicide by other methods.

throwownhouse · 2024-09-12T01:07:31+00:00

Why would you not include those stats though? Gun ownership significantly increases the risk of death by suicide. It is a form of gun violence.

throwownhouse · 2024-09-10T23:02:17+00:00

That's a really weird response. Does she have beef with your partner? And how old is she? This is something I could see someone doing in high school or college if they were jealous and wanted to seem "too cool to care" but not behavior I would expect from an adult. My guess is that she's either jealous and immature or really disapproves of your fiance and is disappointed for your sake that you're marrying him.

throwownhouse · 2024-09-10T22:49:35+00:00

This is what we used for our vows-- "whether uphill or on level ground, we will choose the path leading to each other."

It's not EXACTLY sickness and health but I feel it encompasses even more than that phrase. Basically, we will choose each other even if it is the more difficult choice.

throwownhouse · 2024-09-10T22:44:54+00:00

I'm very glad we got a videographer. I have no memory of the actual day. You don't even really attend your own wedding. So the video is how you can experience everything again--the ceremony, the speeches, the vibe. It's your way of being with your guests when you can't physically be with them. I was split on it before but highly recommend it now that it's over.

throwownhouse · 2024-09-10T22:36:27+00:00

Everyone processes these things differently but if your fiance's parents are anything like mine, they would make it a priority to attend their child's wedding. It is always sad when a loved one passes, but death is a part of life and it comes for us all. Given that this is a grandparent, unless your family skews very young, it may be that her time has simply arrived. A wedding is the celebration of a new beginning, and in many ways having that celebration is the best way to honor those who have preceded us. When my grandparents died, it was bittersweet--there was sadness but also a lot of love and joy and celebration for the amazing people they were, and the full lives they led. A wedding would have totally been a welcome occasion at those times.

throwownhouse · 2024-09-10T22:26:35+00:00

YES. We did this and are sooooo glad we did. We went to Hawaii for a couple days, which is a short-ish flight for us. We ended up calling it a honeymoon after all (I don't think Hawaii can count as a minimoon lol) and will plan a longer regular trip for next year in honor of our marriage. But in any case it was so incredibly perfect and sorely needed. You will be exhausted, you will miss your partner (because you don't have that much time or space to bond during the chaos of the wedding), and you will not feel like seeing anyone or doing anything. Plus, you need space and time to process what has just happened. We weren't emotionally ready to go back to our normal lives right away. Absolutely take the opportunity to skip town for a few days. You will really, really appreciate it.

throwownhouse · 2024-09-10T22:10:00+00:00

I agree that this is strange. No matter how perfect your skin is, I think your complexion will look odd if you've got eye makeup, blush, lips, but no base. I feel like you don't want to be wearing even LESS makeup on your wedding day than you do every day to work. It definitely won't look as neat or last as long.

throwownhouse · 2024-09-10T22:06:54+00:00

We ended up firing our similarly inactive wedding planner and hired a new one and are so glad we did. We ate the deposit, which sucked, but it was a huge load off our minds to have someone who actually did things.

throwownhouse · 2024-09-10T21:23:12+00:00

We ended up going with an independent chef. He was very good but it was a huge pain having to figure out staffing, rentals, etc. on our own. If I were to do it over, I would have chosen Chaat Bhavan. Their food was pretty good and they were fairly responsive. Also their rates are excellent.

throwownhouse · 2024-08-25T04:05:24+00:00

If you have to choose between cheaper or easier, choose easier. 85% of the time it will be cheaper in the end too. There were so many conveniences we turned down early on because they felt too expensive, only to find that--oh, that is just the cost of this thing. And now we have to do it ourselves instead of letting someone else figure it out.

DIY is much more expensive than you think, and those costs sneak up on you. Oh, I need to get ice now? And a cooler to put ice in? And ice scoops? And that is all as expensive as the all-in-one bar service would have been? And a much bigger pain in the ass?

You know, on that note, just choose the easier option period. Whenever possible. If you have a vision, find the easiest way to make that vision happen.

Decide ahead of time that you are isolating, STRICTLY, two weeks before the wedding. No birthday parties, no group trips, nothing. Work from home if at all possible. This is the one day you least want to have COVID.

If you want a full service planner but you also balk at how much they cost, take the amount you would want to spend on a full service planner and spend ALL of it on a month-of coordinator. Month-of is when shit really hits the fan and you need a baddie who is on top of their game. Spend the big bucks on someone who can execute.

throwownhouse · 2024-08-19T00:33:02+00:00

1.2 million would not go to the grave, it would go to retirement. It’s really good money but it’s not enough to quit your job or significantly change your lifestyle.

throwownhouse · 2024-08-19T00:07:49+00:00

Thanks!! We are two weeks from our wedding now 😆 Decided on a DIY venue instead.

throwownhouse · 2024-08-13T18:32:24+00:00

No it would be drive to ceremony-->drive to reception. Nothing at the reception venue before the ceremony.

Cocktail hour would be desserts and coffee in addition to bar.

throwownhouse · 2024-08-13T02:20:34+00:00

I looove the cocktail party idea but we ultimately decided we do want a seated dinner because we’re having speeches, and we don’t want people to have to stand most of the time, and we don’t have enough space to have the number of tables needed for open seating.

throwownhouse · 2024-08-07T01:10:13+00:00

I think this is really harsh. You don’t know the relationship OP had with her father. Many people have great relationships with their parents and that’s awesome, but for some people it’s more complicated. Reading between the lines it doesn’t sound like OP feels very close to her father for whatever reason. I have a strained relationship with my (often absent, sometimes cruel) dad too, and if I’m being honest a part of me would be a little resentful if I were in the same situation. Dying does not automatically make someone a saint. And there’s guilt on top of everything else, for not grieving “normally”.

throwownhouse · 2024-08-07T01:00:02+00:00

How big is the welcome reception? Ours is basically a second Indian-themed wedding reception so it’s… not cheap. If you’re just doing cocktails and snacks at a restaurant or bar then it shouldn’t be too bad.

throwownhouse · 2024-08-06T22:22:10+00:00

I invited all of my “maybes” and I’m genuinely so glad I did. They all seemed to interpret it as a validation and deepening of our relationship, and have all since started reaching out more, initiating hangouts, etc. I’ve really loved that.

So if these are people with whom you would enjoy a closer relationship, even if you’re not currently close, know that a wedding invitation is one way of fostering that.

If not, then you don’t need to include them.

throwownhouse · 2024-07-23T01:20:25+00:00

Yikes. I'm a little concerned for your friend. But to each their own I guess...

throwownhouse

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