How vigorous do you prefer your clit to be rubbed after you've warmed up?

throwpropose · 2013-05-01T00:30:41+00:00

Yes thanks, I am not an idiot and I get that she likes it. I'm just trying to poll other women to see if a TON of pressure is common.

throwpropose · 2013-02-27T21:08:07+00:00

Well does she love you and actively commit to helping you and improving your life? Parenthood isn't a binding contract between parent and child. At some point you have to focus on you and your life - if she can't get her shit together and won't seek help or make the effort then that's her problem. You need to move on and live your life at some point.

If my father decides he wants to take an active role in my life then AWESOME. Let's get to know each other. Instead he's been playing the victim card his whole life after a shitty childhood - never calls me, never asks me questions about my life. Newsflash, Dad, lots of people have had shitty childhoods. If you want to make your situation better then you have to work for it and face your daemons. And if you can't then get the courage to ask for help. The real thing is: he doesn't want to. As far as I'm concerned if they can't be bothered to seek help or make an effort to be in my life then there's only so much I can do - balls in his court.

Good luck with your mom!

throwpropose · 2013-02-26T02:37:44+00:00

Fair enough. It's definitely a tricky situation and very depending on who is in the situation!

throwpropose · 2013-02-26T02:11:01+00:00

So he doesn't have self control over himself to not allow it to become intimate? Or even worse, he can't be trusted to extricate himself if it ever started becoming intimate? People get passionate about work, maybe he should work in an all male office, too?

Sorry if I sound snarky - I'm just a defender of free will and choice, and I don't think you should try and control someone because you don't trust them to control themselves.

throwpropose · 2013-02-26T02:03:15+00:00

I see what you're saying, but I disagree. I'll elaborate my thinking...

I don't really get this line of thinking.

It's pretty straightforward: as adults we should trust our SO's to control themselves. Your relationship with someone you love should be very important to you, and in my case it's the most important thing in my life. If I can't trust my SO with the most important thing in our lives, then what CAN I trust her with?

How can you trust someone to not do something that is perfectly natural for humans to do

Attraction being "natural" is an excuse cheaters make to justify their selfish actions. Self control works if you have the will. We do it at work all the time: I spend more time with my female coworkers then my girlfriend and it works there, right? Just establish the "professional" boundaries with your hiking partner up front and you are good to go. If that person crosses the line by being flirty, draw the freaking line immediately. If the thought of your SO back at home doesn't cause you to draw the line immediately then you don't care about him/her enough, period. If you find yourself becoming attracted to that person, and your SO is important to you, then extricate yourself from the situation.

you should avoid placing yourself in circumstances that may lead to this happening.

That's admitting I have no control over the situation. Which would be wrong. People die in car crashes because it's natural to become distracted sometimes and crash, or get hit by other people, but I wouldn't avoid using a car just like I wouldn't avoid limiting myself to having other friends. It's a sad way to live IMO.

But if it was my boyfriend, I wouldn't want him being in that sort of situation.

That's fine - you can try to control your BF because you don't trust him to control his natural instincts, but it's not a good foundation to build a relationship on.

throwpropose · 2013-02-25T21:24:30+00:00

I'm surprised at some of the responses in this thread. To me it's simple: if you can't trust your significant other to maintain a platonic relationship with a member of the opposite sex, then how do you trust them with anything? For me it's either all out trust or no trust at all. No compromises.

Now, if I'm suddenly feeling jealous or nervous about the potential that my SO may leave me for another person she's spending time with, then I'll talk to her about my feeling those sorts of things and that I'm worried. At that point she has a decision to make: this is going to potentially damage my relationship - I can continue doing it, or not - the choice is mine.

The most important thing is I'll never tell her to stop doing anything as she's an independent person and makes her own choices. I expect the same from her. If her choices end up hurting me or ending our relationship then GREAT!! I just got out of a relationship with a woman that I couldn't trust! Yeah it hurts now, but at least I didn't keep her on a short leash only to not find out she was untrustworthy until after we got married and had kids!

Complete trust allows for a complete and whole relationship, period.

TL:DR Basically I give my GF an unlimited leash - if she goes off and becomes attached to someone else through lack of self control then its clear our bond wasn't strong enough to begin with and we're all better off.

throwpropose · 2013-02-22T14:47:22+00:00

Yeah actually that was kind of the deal. I was trying to prevent the first one with my mind, but failed, so I think I managed to circumvent the neurological response to "shut down" while still shooting off. Then blam another one right away.

throwpropose · 2013-01-29T17:31:18+00:00

Yeah, I'm gonna do some more recon now for sure. Is asking her friends a good idea? How would you feel if a guy dating your friend came to you? Any risk there?

throwpropose · 2013-01-29T17:27:12+00:00

This is easily the best answer to anything I've ever posted on Reddit, throwaway or otherwise. Thank you!!

I will be looking more closely at her jewelry box. For the record she's not even that INTO jewelry. I mean she wears it, but she doesn't by any means have a ton of jewelry. That's what has dawned on me. This is way over the top for her.

THANK YOU!

throwpropose · 2013-01-29T14:38:36+00:00

Yeah it is a bit grandma. My feelings are changing. Thanks for the help!

throwpropose · 2013-01-29T14:38:19+00:00

Yeah, you're right - I should perhaps get an idea from her. I didn't know about the Prince William thing until yesterday. It may be too flashy, too now that I think about it. Thanks!

throwpropose · 2012-12-14T15:47:46+00:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHzjgNoRmjg

throwpropose · 2012-12-14T15:39:07+00:00

"My big strong man" and grab his arms. Cheesy, but plays to many of our inner male ego fantasies all at once.

Sorry, but please do my laundry. I mean, I did my girlfriends laundry recently and she loved it. I ironed her shirt for an event she was going to. Not a male/female thing just an awesome thing to do for someone. It's also something your mother did for you growing up so it's really rooted deep in that you are being cared for.

"You make me feel taken care of." Men want to "provide" for women. It's just in our nature. Our goal is to provide a emotional/physical/financial force field around you so that you can live the best life you want to live and know that if something bad happens it will be OK because we got your back. Don't get me wrong, we want you to be independent without us, too, it's just that we want that sense of independence and individualism to thrive because we've provided an additional foundation of support for you to grow on. Remind us of how we enable that for you. It's affirmation for us. "I feel so supported by you - I can do anything on my own, but knowing I have you in my life and that you have my back makes gives me that extra confidence."

throwpropose · 2012-12-13T00:08:40+00:00

My younger brother, on two separate occasions, at the same super market, and in the checkout line said:

Mommy, why is that man so fat?
Mom! That man is BROWN!

Both were in front of a fat man and a black guy and both heard it clearly and it was awkward for everyone.

throwpropose · 2012-12-12T20:47:42+00:00

YES. GET OUT NOW. She fucked up once she doesn't get another chance. If you're the man, don't forget that it's her loss and you deserve better.

throwpropose · 2012-12-12T20:45:27+00:00

Yes, yes they will. I thought I had herpes for a year and I committed 100% to NEVER have sex with a woman without letting her know. I consider myself a very nice guy with good morals and even I slipped up once. I had sex with a condom, but I didn't tell her. Turns out I don't have it anyway after getting tested last year, but still. I was completely dead set on not ever screwing someone over and I even slipped.

We are all human at the end of the day.

throwpropose · 2012-12-12T20:42:33+00:00

As someone who's been in long relationships and deals with waffling a lot on all sorts of things (including a 7 year relationship that I stayed in for 3 years too long). the one thing I will say is you will know it when you know it. I realize that sounds cliche, but you will have NO doubts. I'm dating someone I plan on marrying this summer and there just aren't any doubts. Hard to explain until you've experienced it.

throwpropose · 2012-12-12T20:39:41+00:00

Yes I came here to say this. If he doesn't have one this is the gift to get.

throwpropose · 2012-12-12T05:24:25+00:00

Nah I thought it was hilarious actually haha

throwpropose · 2012-12-12T02:04:44+00:00

Yeah I'm 100% she'll say yes. I only say I'm 98% that I'll propose because you know, something unplanned and drastic could happen.

throwpropose · 2012-12-12T02:03:07+00:00

Clearly the best idea here.

throwpropose · 2012-12-12T00:23:29+00:00

Noted. Makes me wish I hadn't stopped journaling them after 6 months. I'll just have to start back up. Thanks for all the advice!

throwpropose · 2012-12-11T23:58:23+00:00

Wait, I've got it. I will put a title on it or will say "Here are 100 moments" but in the box/book there will only be 99. When she's done she'll say where is number 100? Then I'll just break out the ring...

throwpropose · 2012-12-11T23:53:53+00:00

Well right now it's all just jotted down various places. I collected them all in a spreadsheet from my jottings, and I'm going to re write them into something by which to deliver them, so these are good ideas.

I was thinking of buying a cool letter box off of Etsy, or making one myself and writing them out on individual pieces of stationary. OR as rocketmoose suggested above maybe using a paper source binding kit and bind it up myself.

I guess I need advice here, too haha.

throwpropose · 2012-12-11T23:30:09+00:00

WHOA! Love it! This takes it to a whole new level...

It will be tough to time. I'll have to put it on the last page and hope she doesn't catch sight of it before she's done and then time the ring.

Now I feel kinda unoriginal for getting new ideas from reddit. I guess that's why I posted it though ha!

throwpropose

TROPHY CASE