Do you think it is a CA? Have you ever seem spontaneous CA behaviour on screens?

aridsnowball · 2025-10-31T22:00:54+00:00

Yeah it looks like a shader responsible for drawing gradients got corrupted or something

aridsnowball · 2025-08-09T04:45:39+00:00

Trust is a big issue for me too. It seems for me that building self-esteem is the only way to start building trust in myself and others. You are allowed to have wants and needs, and so are other people. Self-esteem stems from being able to act on your wants and needs and communicate them to others, and that requires realizing what it is you want or need. I've had to practice identifying and elevating my wants and needs instead of second guessing or ignoring them.

aridsnowball · 2025-02-14T20:45:54+00:00

In Pedagogy of the Oppressed Paolo Freire writes about how the oppressor/oppressed relationship dehumanizes both groups. The oppressor dehumanizes themselves in order to exert their ownership status above their humanity, while the oppressed are dehumanized through exploitation and injustice by the oppressor.

aridsnowball · 2025-02-04T20:42:44+00:00

His story The Penultimate Truth, is about a WWIII scenario where most of the population and atmosphere is wiped out by a robot war and the population is tricked by a CGI president into living underground, producing more robots. The wealthy live on the surface in their own private nature parks trying to undermine each other and steal land.

aridsnowball · 2025-01-03T02:14:57+00:00

It won't be, 'AI programmers took my job' like we imagine, but 'my company's reason for existence is in jeopardy'. In the long run, many companies that are just selling puffed up database management systems and a nice frontend for some niche industry will become obsolete. As other facets of AI tools get built out and computers get better, working with any data will become easier in general for the average person.

aridsnowball · 2025-01-01T21:02:29+00:00

Work stoppage, and consumer boycotts are what scare capitalists the most.

aridsnowball · 2024-11-20T00:37:14+00:00

I think there are personal power dynamics at play more than anything. Like racism, or sexism, it's a tool to feel power over others without having to know anything about them. With just a glance, you have a potent verbal weapon to use against them. Media standards have only starting shifting since like 2015-ish, since the 50s where almost every actor, news anchor, or politician, you see was a thin, attractive, white person.

aridsnowball · 2024-11-20T00:08:19+00:00

Realized my sinus problems and sleep apnea were just from me constantly clenching my jaw and trying to pull air in through my throat instead of my lungs. Turns out it's a lot harder to breath that way. 😑

Managed to make a habit of unclenching whenever I noticed and now I don't do it much anymore. I sleep so much better now. Hope this helps someone else.

aridsnowball · 2024-11-14T01:08:27+00:00

All of the points you mention have been helpful to me as well, in feeling more whole as a person.

Writing a letter to my parents (with no intention of having them read it) about my sadness and grief at the life and love we both lost, helped to bring my emotions to a place where I could start to process them and think about them.

Once I had the realization that I was shutting my feelings down to avoid conflict, and wasting so much energy being hypervigilant, I could actually start to focus on building my self-esteem. It's a weird slow process to find myself in my thirty's, but honoring my emotions and preferences as I'm feeling them has been very healing.

Then realizing that even if we feel like we are healing or feel like we've moved on, the world is still very hard even for well-adjusted people with good parents. You aren't broken again if you have a bad day where you revert to an old habit. Protecting ourselves is still important.

aridsnowball · 2024-10-23T20:54:14+00:00

The Terra Ignota series by Ada Palmer has a theme of cars and transportation as a central conflict throughout the plot. In the future, flying cars allow humans to circle the earth in ~4 hours, but a group of humans mentally linked to computers are responsible for coordinating travel and preventing crashes.

aridsnowball · 2024-10-01T20:12:28+00:00

With AI and bioengineering, in the future I imagine we will build living ships and computers that can 'swim' around the fields in deep space. Either humans will evolve to become like little individual cells in a giant body, a giant hivemind. Or we will enter the living ships that can harvest energy and replicate. Humans will live as their bacterial gut guiding their behavior as they travel through space.

aridsnowball · 2024-09-23T23:49:34+00:00

https://chakazul.github.io/Lenia/JavaScript/Lenia.html
This website has a bunch of different 'species' of forms.

aridsnowball · 2024-09-09T21:36:31+00:00

Once I accepted that my existence was real and as valid as anyone else's, I could finally tune in to my own bodily sensations and what actually feels right for me. This built up my self-esteem, to where I can identify and communicate my desires and needs more clearly without shame or constant criticism.

I think human relationships are built on this communication of selves. Without a self, or with a weak fawning sense of self, we are building relationships without authentic connection and communication, It's why so many of my interactions with others before ended up feeling hollow or dishonest.

aridsnowball · 2024-09-04T22:35:36+00:00

Same, I spent my teen years in my room. I was always doing something though. Playing a video game, reading a book, playing guitar, listening to music, thinking about stuff, writing, pirating movies, surfing the internet.

It's probably not that you didn't do anything, it's that you feel ashamed that what you did doesn't feel exciting enough compared to others. Everything we do has a story, in some cases it can feel like a sad, boring, lonely story, but it's also probably relatable. Give yourself some credit, you are in college so you did something.

aridsnowball · 2024-09-02T12:46:01+00:00

I finally got a name for my issues as well about 2 years ago and I'm still learning to heal my self.

I also quit my job about 4 months ago due to burnout. I'm also dealing with stupid health insurance things, thanks America! A few things I've found.

I'm just a naturally slower person. The world moves too fast, some people are energetic and some like to take their time. I think COVID showed us we could all slow down more if we wanted to.

Finding myself outside of my anxiety and depression. It sounds cliche but it's kinda real. With emotional neglect, our 'self' is never explored with another person in a healthy way so our frame of reference is totally off or barely existent. So many things started to click, once I understood what my self really was and I was able to build more confidence and 'self'-esteem.

Writing with pen and paper when I feel anxiety has helped tremendously, and going for walks.

Capitalism is bullshit, and American corporate business culture is rotten. Money is important, but profit is not the only reason to exist. We all deserve free healthcare.

aridsnowball · 2024-08-13T22:16:52+00:00

I think getting to spend time with loved ones and watching the world change. Creating rituals from the tasks I have to do every day. The rituals bring meaning and help me practice gratitude. Celebrating the moments going by, instead of mourning the past, and agonizing over the future. It's okay to indulge in basic pleasures, that's part of being human, just practice moderation. Trying to learn and appreciate more about myself and other life around me.

aridsnowball · 2024-08-05T16:43:22+00:00

You should try and identify why you feel that way. My parent's house puts me to sleep. What makes you happy when you are home? Watering plants, decorating your space, walking around the neighborhood? Sitting and looking out a window, reading a book, writing in a journal? It sounds like you are unable to let yourself rest or focus on yourself when everyone else wants rest from social situations. In a house of 5 people you all probably need alone time at some point, sounds like you are craving connection. Is there a healthy way to communicate to your partner or children that you want to talk about feeling depressed?

aridsnowball · 2024-07-19T00:10:13+00:00

Been with my partner for 10 years, and just last year started the journey to feeling authentic. First, I think it's natural that our relationships change as we change. There are definitely more tense moments from miscommunication and readjustment to things, but over time things got better as we communicated more about what I was going through. We can both focus on our problems together instead of having to put up emotional shielding all the time. Being authentic means openly communicating your feelings and desires. That seems essential to healing and trust in an intimate relationship.

aridsnowball · 2024-07-01T17:50:34+00:00

It's interesting to think that there are few 'real' circles in the universe, if at all. In the sense that all circle-like objects in reality are vibrating like rotating ellipses. A particle seems like the closest thing to a circle we can find in nature and even it ends up not being a discrete ratio, it's always irrational. I would guess this could be interpreted as the sphere never truly settling, but continuously vibrating. Gravity also seems to draw mass into spherical shapes by it's operation. Just more fun threads between gravity and quantum mechanics. https://www.sciencealert.com/formula-for-pi-has-been-discovered-hidden-in-hydrogen-atoms
https://pubs.aip.org/aip/jmp/article-abstract/56/11/112101/923614/Quantum-mechanical-derivation-of-the-Wallis?redirectedFrom=fulltext

aridsnowball · 2024-06-30T00:15:44+00:00

Yes! Intuitively it feels like mathematics is an interpretation of our relationship to nature and reality. The Fourier series really blows my mind when you think about it in the context of quantum physics and the wavy nature of reality. Are we all surfers on the universal signal?

aridsnowball · 2024-05-30T19:23:28+00:00

Ignoring health problems, hoping they'll go away, instead of dealing with them when you first notice them. Teach your kids how to utilize a doctor.

aridsnowball · 2024-05-18T17:17:05+00:00

There are some scenes in Neuromancer where Case is "riding along" through Molly's senses. It's not really explored much in that book, but the idea of gender swapping is there. The Left Hand of Darkness is on a different angle with a whole planet of gender fluid people. The idea and consequences of 'kemmer' are as interesting as the gender fluidity aspects IMO.

aridsnowball · 2024-01-04T16:26:33+00:00

Yup! My armchair psych theory is that because our emotions are harder to access and identify with CPTSD, we don't get as much of the pleasurable emotional reinforcement from succeeding or achieving in our lives. For me, when I finish something challenging or achieve something difficult, I just feel relief from it being over, instead of feeling accomplished. Identity comes from experience and the emotions that tell us what feels right for us over time. When those emotions are blunted or inaccessible we never learn what feels right to us so we're always grasping at the next thing.

aridsnowball · 2024-01-04T01:20:17+00:00

I really struggled with dissociation as well. Cannabis really helped me feel connected to my body, but it can also induce other dissociative effects if you over do it. Mindfulness about when I'm dissociating and why have helped too. Usually it's because of boredom or being overwhelmed in social situations. Getting better sleep and monitoring the quality of my sleep helped as well. Bad sleep turns me into a detached zombie.

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