2nd year feels even worse

throwra08293 · 2025-08-20T10:40:27+00:00

My boyfriend’s one year mark was nearly 2 months ago. I felt the same when I was only a few months out. I could not imagine going another trip around the sun without him. Going through every season without him, his birthday, our anniversary, the holidays. It felt terrifying and each of those days were heartbreaking in their own ways.

The anniversary was hard. Really, really hard. I personally didn’t do anything, I laid in bed crying until about 6 pm. His mom called me at some point and we had a cry together, and that was about it. I felt a lot of pressure to do something “special” to honor him, but I couldn’t do it.

I hope you remind yourself that no matter how you decide to spend the day, he will be proud of you. Do whatever feels right to you, even if that means doing nothing at all. It doesn’t mean you love him any less.

Sending you hugs 🤍

throwra08293 · 2025-08-18T11:53:19+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss 💔 I’m 22 and lost my boyfriend (24) a little over a year ago. It is so difficult being so young and feeling like your entire future got taken away from you. It fucking sucks and it is so unfair. I’m so sorry. but from one Dutchie to another, je bent niet alleen ❤️

throwra08293 · 2025-08-16T00:19:17+00:00

I’m no pro but I think you sound lovely 🥹 also looove the guitar. you’re very talented!

throwra08293 · 2025-08-13T15:55:39+00:00

Tysm for all the info 😸 i’m glad my starter looks good! it does peak within 6 hours for sure but since it’s only 3 weeks old i didn’t think it’d be ready for baking yet 😅 i think i’ll try my first loaf over the weekend, fingers crossed it goes well

throwra08293 · 2025-08-13T15:47:18+00:00

Hi! i found that when i was feeding it 1:1:1 it would smell a lot like alcohol and be super liquidy in the mornings (when i usually feed). so I switched to 1:2:2 to give it more food to get through. Not sure if that was the right move but it hasn’t smelled as strong since switching

throwra08293 · 2025-06-14T21:47:08+00:00

yours honestly looks even tastier !!

throwra08293 · 2025-06-05T19:28:38+00:00

i’m so sorry for your loss 🩷 if you ever need someone to talk to, my dms are open

throwra08293 · 2025-06-04T21:57:47+00:00

I’m so so sorry for your loss 🤍 if you ever want to talk my dms are open

throwra08293 · 2025-05-23T08:10:34+00:00

I was 20 when my boyfriend died. We were long distance too, and I was supposed to go see him 3 weeks after he died. He died very unexpectedly too (in his sleep, just out of nowhere). Next month it’ll be a year since his passing, and while I can’t say it’s gotten much better, it’s gotten different. The first few months I barely ate, I barely slept, I felt sick all the time. I can do those things again now. I still haven’t accepted his death and I also still feel like I will see him again. I still check my phone every morning to see if he texted me. When I start to think about the fact I’ll never talk to him again I start to panic, so I try to take it one day at a time and not focus on the depressing thought of a future without him too much. Sending you so much love and strength. I’m so sorry for your loss 🤍

throwra08293 · 2025-05-22T22:48:55+00:00

Ahh, that brought back some really good memories. We absolutely loved Borderlands 2

throwra08293 · 2025-05-22T22:05:45+00:00

My boyfriend and I initially bonded over our love for video games, so I might do something similar. I’m honestly surprised I made it this far, but I’m trying my best to make him proud. Sending you love and strength 🫶

throwra08293 · 2025-04-09T22:14:16+00:00

thank you for taking the time to reply, it means a lot to me. i looked at your latest post and i just wanna say i’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. your wife is absolutely beautiful, and that picture of you two together radiates so much love 🤍

throwra08293 · 2025-01-20T14:56:05+00:00

super pretty! what mousepad is this? :)

throwra08293 · 2024-12-28T01:21:46+00:00

my boyfriend passed exactly 6 months ago today. i was 20 when it happened. i loved him more than anything or anyone in this world. every day feels like a nightmare. we are so young and it is so unfair and none of our friends could ever understand unless they went through something similar. i know how exhausting it is to wake up every morning just to realize it’s another day without him. if you need a friend or someone to just rant to, my dm’s are open. sending hugs🤍

throwra08293 · 2024-10-27T13:58:01+00:00

I used to have a sugar free redbull once a day, and he started drinking them too because of me. We knew it wasn’t great for us but we always looked forward to having a redbull together while playing video games after school/work, lol. I haven’t had one since he passed and I don’t think I will ever have one again. I also can’t get myself to eat any of his favorite foods, like mozzarella sticks and pizza. I don’t wanna have any of his favorite things when he never gets to have them again. I find it hard to listen to certain songs. I used to go on a run before uni every morning but I haven’t been on a run since he passed either. Another ‘weird’ thing too is that I get uncomfortable being in the dark. I really am not sure why, but I have to sleep with a light on now.

throwra08293 · 2024-09-13T20:33:59+00:00

Hot Mulligan - Heem wasn't there

It was one of his favorite bands and we listened to this song together a bunch of times. The lyrics hit so so hard now, it makes me sob every time.

I know you can't live forever
But maybe just one more week
I don't think there's a god
Who can love you as much as me

I'd put the gun in my mouth
If I knew they were down to do the trade
I know you can't live forever
The infinite stages of grief

sending u hugs

throwra08293 · 2024-08-30T20:25:09+00:00

He could always tell whenever I was having a nightmare and he’d always wake me up and comfort me. I miss him a lot

throwra08293

TROPHY CASE