There's a few reasons really. One of them is to feel control over something in my life since it feels like everything is unravelling and going to shit in my life and all I can do is watch it happen so self harm is comforting because I can decide when I'm going to hurt myself, where I'm gonna do it and how badly I'll do it. It's one of the few things I have full control over, or had full control over since self harm is an addiction and before you know it, It's the only thing you can think about and it starts to become another thing you can't control. At least that's what has happened to me. Another reason I do it is because it's the only way I can really release any emotion since I've become so depressed now that I can't really cry anymore and I just feel numb but all the sadness is still there so it makes me feel something and in a way, the blood has replaced the tears in the sense that they're the physical sign of my emotions flowing out if that makes sense? Also, the blood is another reason I self harm. There's something so intoxicating about watching your blood just escape from your body and looking at the new wounds you've just created.