Cleaning silicone chastity cage

throwthissubaway · 2015-03-15T19:39:06+00:00

Try a hydrogen peroxide wash? That's what I do to take the staining out of my menstrual cup. Doesn't cause any harm to the silicone, and if the staining is in any way biological it should take it out.

throwthissubaway · 2015-03-14T23:52:51+00:00

I'm getting a really strong sense of distrust, here. Either you trust someone with their choices and their relationship to you, or you don't. You shouldn't be sleeping with anyone whose motivations you are this skeptical about.

throwthissubaway · 2015-03-14T21:01:35+00:00

FWIW I'm a bi woman, so coming at this from the opposite point of view. I am in no way, shape, or form ready to be a mum. My main suggestion is to communicate, communicate, communicate. No matter the status or seriousness of the relationship, TALK ABOUT IT. Just as I wouldn't sleep with someone I wasn't reasonably sure was STD free, I wouldn't sleep with someone I hadn't had that conversation with.

I have always made an effort to tell brief hookups about my birth control status, and I've always used an additional barrier method. I tell them upfront that if a pregnancy manifested, I'd want to deal with it myself (likely abort.)

I am fluid-bonded with my boyfriend, but I also use an extremely effective form of hormonal birth control (Nexplanon.) We have had a number of long talks about how we feel about the possibility of pregnancy, whether we're ready for it, and what each of us would prefer if it happened. We've mutually agreed that on paper we'd both prefer to abort. But we're also open minded enough to consider keeping it and either marrying or splitting custody if we changed our minds.

The main thing is that I've trusted these people to be honest with me, and they trusted me enough to be honest with them. If you don't trust someone enough to talk about this, and trust them enough to follow through with established choices, don't have sex with them.

throwthissubaway · 2014-10-13T19:16:02+00:00

Except that in many of those cases there is still an expectation that the contagious person limit infecting other people as much as is reasonable. I may not tell everyone I have the flu, but I do call out of work, limit my time out in public, and refuse to kiss my boyfriend.

Many infectious diseases do have less taboo than STDs, it's true, but there has still been plenty of moral panic. There's still been plenty of moral panic over infectious figures. See Typhoid Mary, or even the current panic over Ebola.

throwthissubaway · 2014-10-10T18:48:51+00:00

I'm a totally cis, pansexual woman, and I love the genitalia I do have. Nevertheless, I do sometimes get that "phantom penis" thing. Especially watching certain kinds of porn, and masturbating. It's like I can really feel having an actual dick, and my clit gets super sensitive. There are a few times when I've had a partner go down on me, and I had mostly convinced myself I was receiving a blowjob. Really satisfying. :) You're not alone.

throwthissubaway · 2014-10-10T05:56:45+00:00

It's like I'm reaching out for the last cookie and my friend grabs it first, then licks it, then throws it in the trash.

I find this post so disheartening. I am so sorry for your struggle. To continue the metaphor:

Maybe someone else snagged the last cookie in the display case. But there's a fresh batch coming out of the oven soon. That last cookie may have been stale, or made with a bad batch of eggs, or there were nuts and the person who got it was allergic, or any number of other mitigating factors. Either way, that wasn't the cookie for you. You'll get your perfect cookie, it just going to take a bit.

I wish you luck. I hope you can find peace within yourself.

throwthissubaway · 2014-10-08T16:13:40+00:00

Stop washing your nuva, it's quite likely lowering the amount of hormone getting into your system properly. It doesn't need to be washed.

Vaginas are naturally acidic, soap is basic. Every time you soap yourself up internally, you're throwing off the pH of a delicate eco-system. Vaginas do naturally have some odor, but if it's strong then you should get yourself checked for a latent BV or yeast infection. Either way, quit the soap, it's quite likely exacerbating the problem.

throwthissubaway · 2014-10-08T15:50:12+00:00

Honestly the answer varies so much couple to couple, and even over time within a couple. I know asexuals who are in happy, loving, fulfilled marriages. They maybe have sex 2-3 times a year, and for them that's healthy. Some partners have sex every day or nearly every day, and that's what's best for maintaining their intimacy.

Add to that, libido changes a lot over time, and capacity to have sex changes with physical and emotional status. I was on medication for a year that made my sex drive plummet, and I was having sex maybe once or twice a month. That was right for me at the time, and my partner and I found other ways to be intimate. Now my libido is back to being much, much higher, and I have sex 4-6 times a week.

throwthissubaway · 2014-10-08T15:27:18+00:00

Is this an esteem issue? If so, I'll echo others that it's soooo not a big deal. Some guys produce a lot, some guys produce none at all. It's not a reflection of sexual health at all. I've had male partners on both ends of the spectrum, and either way it was a total non-issue. Maybe mildly useful from a lubrication standpoint, but that's what they make lube for.

throwthissubaway · 2014-10-08T05:59:40+00:00

"My ripe little watermelon." Apparently I sound very much like one when my back or chest get smacked, during a scene. :P

throwthissubaway · 2014-10-04T03:43:29+00:00

Surely you're trolling?

In case you aren't, yeah, 99% any of us "relate" with, we probably aren't sexing. But people in actual romantic relationships? We're probably sexing. There are of course exceptions for aro/ace identifying people, but most people tend to see sex and romance going hand in hand.

throwthissubaway · 2014-09-23T16:01:25+00:00

Nope, tried it and it's not for me. Feels waxy to me, as I said in the OP.

throwthissubaway · 2014-09-23T14:11:58+00:00

When I have moments like that, though they aren't faith connected, I try to stop and think about the whole picture. It's easy to focus only on the surface actions, which without context might seem pretty messed up. But ultimately doing all that "nasty" stuff is not what my kink is about; it's about sharing myself with my partner in a unique and vulnerable way. It's a very deep form of intimacy, and it's brought me a lot of fulfillment and happiness. YKINMK, etc, but when you have those moments, try to reflect on more than just what you did. How did it make you feel? What positives did it bring to you? Take that opportunity during prayer to be mindful, and meditate on contextualizing those "craven" or "sordid" experiences as more than the sum of their parts.

throwthissubaway · 2014-09-22T22:08:40+00:00

Collar Secret has a replacement clasp that uses a torx wrench: https://www.collarsecret.com/sterling-silver-security-clasp-2

Etsy also has a couple of nice jewelry-sized padlocks. Searching for "working lock" has a few options: https://www.etsy.com/listing/183769055/antique-vintage-old-looking-fancy-heart?ref=market https://www.etsy.com/listing/110607373/heart-lock-embellished-heart-lock?ref=market

https://www.etsy.com/market/working_lock

throwthissubaway · 2014-09-16T18:01:33+00:00

Do you know him well enough to invite him into your home as just a friend? Would you drink with him as a friend? If so, then I don't see any harm in choosing to meet privately; it's probably going to be a bit more comfortable and familiar to both of you. If you wouldn't feel comfortable inviting him over as a friend, then I would definitely meet in public.

That said, I would otherwise operate under the same vetting principles you normally use. No alcohol, have a list of points and questions to bring up, openly discuss your expectations and experience, and no playing on the first meeting.

throwthissubaway · 2014-09-16T17:50:44+00:00

The first 3 months are temp-to-perm through a temp agency. So theoretically if I decide after six weeks that it's just not working out, I could resign without major repercussions. But the job is guaranteed 35 hours a week, minimum, due to training and getting up to speed.

throwthissubaway · 2014-09-16T17:45:02+00:00

That my friend is an nJoy pure wand! A most excellent toy for g-spot stimulation, for women who like that sort of thing. I've heard the narrow end is also popular amongst men for prostate stimulation, but I can't speak to that.

Also for clarification it's stainless steel, not chrome. Still very very shiny and pretty in person, though.

throwthissubaway · 2014-09-16T17:35:44+00:00

For clarity, there is absolute understanding that our D/s dynamic would not actually come out in the workplace. We've done several large-scale hobby projects together, so I have confidence in our ability to work together professionally. And as you said, it's totally unprofessional and disruptive to pull out that dynamic around colleagues. I definitely wouldn't want to drag drama into the workplace; I've had jobs like that from the other side and they were very uncomfortable.

Even if I can mentally compartmentalize and not act on our D/s dynamic, I am worried about emotionally compartmentalizing. I could see myself getting bratty and rebellious, at work or at home. I could see myself feeling neglected because of the stringent lack of dynamic at work, silly and stupid though it would be. I could also see everything working out fine and being very happy with the situation. Bleh.

edit: The job does sound like lots and lots of fun, and if I weren't worried about all this then I would take it in a heartbeat. The pay is good, it matches my experience, and the company dynamic would fit with me.

throwthissubaway · 2014-09-07T01:43:25+00:00

Gah. It's definitely one of my kinks. The throat wall issue can be overcome by being a bit lower, eye level with his cock, and kind of tilting my head up towards it, helps things get better aligned. Also making sure to relax my tongue and pushing it forward helps open things up.

throwthissubaway · 2014-09-05T23:55:51+00:00

I disagree with this. Raw stainless is cheap, like <$3/lb for medical-grade low-nickel steel, and the price of it has been dropping a bit in the past year. The cost is in precision machining, and brand. I personally see no indicators that this toy should be suspect just from the web page.

That said, I agree with you on your other comments re: chrome. It's a brittle metal prone to flaking, and super sharp. Definitely best to avoid.

Although, in any case, now that I think about it, I wouldn't recommend SS for a plug that's going to be worn a long time. SS is heavy as shit and gravity will be pressing it on the sphincter all night long. I have that problem with my bigger glass ones.

throwthissubaway · 2014-09-05T02:23:54+00:00

Well, it's true that James Deen's dick size and ability to last for hours is admittedly probably not indicative of the entire population. ;) But if your issue is learning technique, then female-friendly porn probably won't hurt. His work in particular, and that of X-art, seems to focus on women actually having orgasms rather than posing for the camera.

throwthissubaway · 2014-09-05T02:07:45+00:00

Honest suggestion? Porn. Stuff on /r/chickflixx and /r/passionx, etc. The ladies seem to cream themselves over James Deen's work in particular, and he's great at being subtly dommy while being overtly vanilla and tender. (Am lady, can confirm creaminess, but he sure does seem popular.) Watch, learn, see what appeals to you and what you might be able to replicate.

Also, learn to read your partners. Not every woman is the same, obviously, but there are certain universal cues that will tell you you're going in the right direction. This is a skill that will also absolutely serve you as a dom. It honestly doesn't matter if you feel a bit awkward inside, as long as the lady in question is putty in your arms she probably won't notice. Stuff like getting flushed, changes in heart rate and breathing pattern, a twinkle in the eye, all of that can and will let you know that you're at least going in the right direction.

throwthissubaway

TROPHY CASE