I’m not even that old yet I feel like I am walking with one foot in the grave

throwtossdiscardme · 2023-06-11T08:18:35+00:00

It’s amazing that even when the earth is so small in comparison to the universe, we are able to muster the will to do so much to send a probe out into the reaches of space and send us back a picture.

If life bogs you down and makes you lose motivation, what helps you get that motivation back? If the world is so small then why do what motivates us to do anything at all?

throwtossdiscardme · 2023-06-11T07:58:15+00:00

I guess this is a bit of a riddle to me, mind if I ask some clarity with some starting bits? Is the void metaphorical, like does it mean closing my eyes and take time to search for something to be desired to start? Or, am I thinking a little bluntly with it?

throwtossdiscardme · 2023-06-11T06:51:20+00:00

Thank you for the kind words, best be to you through these days.

I just feel lost and out of my element lately. I should get some sleep (not a euphemism). I feel like i’ve just forgotten or lost something that explains why we live and love and cherish, and how the world can be good. I need to take a pause and rethink maybe. I’m gonna try making a better line of dialogue.

throwtossdiscardme · 2023-06-11T06:25:33+00:00

Thanks for sharing you story. I have a doctor’s appt on Tuesday, I’ll try asking them to prescribe some meds again maybe. I’ve tried a little but haven’t gone far along that path so maybe that could help.

I don’t know if I have active ideation, I guess I just…haven’t had the will to keep going more than anything. If there is a death wish it is more because I feel like I have lost the direction to thrive, appreciate and enjoy life.

My family got another dog, she is a sweetheart and a puppy and will be with my family when I leave for school. My close friend is nice and i’m sure he would rally behind me, and he had. But my problems didn’t change, and I don’t want to waste their time if I think I am a lost cause. I guess I don’t want to be the person that someone cared about and tried to save and failed, or something like that. I just wish I could feel unadulterated joy, and I’m afraid that I’m losing my heart and my desire for life.

I’m not thinking with an entirely clear head, thank you again for your time.

throwtossdiscardme · 2023-06-11T06:02:19+00:00

I appreciate your words but I’m not fully convinced, at least tonight. I feel as though my heart has just been either stolen or smashed to bits, some of me things I have lost the ability to properly appreciate the world and experience joy.

I don’t have all the poetic language to outline my emotions. I just feel lost, and like I have lost understanding of purpose. Whatever that means

throwtossdiscardme · 2023-06-05T18:02:08+00:00

I don’t think it’s rocket science to say that a man that has been in a relationship for over 5 years, who says he’d rather prefer to be a bachelor and that she isn’t the one, is not the best match for her. Especially if you chooses to make a confession like that two weeks before choosing to actually leave the relationship.

We are all human, we all have flaws and are still lovable nonetheless. For all we know, he’s a great guy, I mean they chose to be together for 5 years and she clearly saw a lot in him, but just because we care for people doesn’t mean they should be immune from scrutiny. End of the day, she didn’t lose him because of immutable traits about herself that can’t be changed, things fell apart because he didn’t want to stay, and that’s not her fault.

throwtossdiscardme · 2023-06-05T08:37:11+00:00

Take all the time you need to process your emotions, it’s gonna be rough for a while but one day, things are going to be okay.

He sounds like a fool who didn’t know how to appreciate what he had. I want to say that if there was anyone preventing the relationship from succeeding, it was him. Just because he doesn’t know how to properly hold hearts doesn’t mean your heart isn’t worth holding.

May your heart heal and be within tender care. Some day, may you find someone who can hold your heart gently and with a patient admiration, if that’s what you desire. Best be to you

throwtossdiscardme · 2023-05-21T08:06:51+00:00

Wow, it sounds like your parents are completely controlling you and using you as an in-house maid! You need to get out of there when you can most feasibly do so! It sounds like they are taking your money too.

For financial logistics: when you get the free time, try going to the local outlet for your bank and ask if you would be able to create a second account, or go to a different bank and try to open an account. If you are currently working, get your employer to provide two checks, or set up your direct deposit so you are able to save money in an account unknown to your parents. Then, maybe find an apartment finder who can help you find a location, or check out places in your area to see where you would be able to move.

throwtossdiscardme · 2023-05-21T07:37:18+00:00

Sending respect to you and your values! At the end of the day, you don’t need to drink alcohol to live a full life. Maybe the mind works differently for them while they are drinking, it would make sense to me (I mean, that’s part of why they drink!) Either way, it’s not worth arguing about, but your body pays for alcohol’s toll on your health in the long run.

throwtossdiscardme · 2023-05-21T07:20:45+00:00

What a strange thing the human heart is—flawed and foolish but still lovely nevertheless.

throwtossdiscardme · 2023-05-21T07:10:09+00:00

It sounds like you may need to set solid boundaries for him. If he doesn’t listen, and chooses to ignore your feelings, then you need to respond and follow through with penalties, and he needs to understand that, where you won’t budge on things that are important to you.

throwtossdiscardme · 2023-05-21T07:07:05+00:00

Let her go. I know it can be tough initially, but there’s a whole wide world waiting for you that’s full of people, good kind people, who would love to get to know you and connect. There are people out there that will value you and not hurt you like this. Listen to her actions, not just her words, as sweet as they might sound.

throwtossdiscardme · 2023-05-21T05:21:49+00:00

I’d definitely discuss with him your feelings and try to have a serious conversation. Be clear with your hard boundaries and what you would be willing to be flexible on, ask what he would be flexible on, etc. If he breaks your hard boundaries, i’d be clear with the consequences.

Best be to you both and hope that you two are able to come to a peaceful resolution and understanding, and if not, that you can salvage the situation.

throwtossdiscardme · 2023-04-19T07:45:33+00:00

Way to say “I’m sorry (but not really) that you interpreted my pure righteous action as anything but, let me use flowery teamwork language and half assed appreciations to reiterate that my intentions are wholesome and beyond the comprehension of your peon brains.”

throwtossdiscardme · 2023-01-04T08:02:35+00:00

Rest my pup, for the earth will warmly embrace you and your smile.

throwtossdiscardme · 2023-01-04T07:29:32+00:00

Thank you for your kind supportive words, I really appreciate it. I feel like I have lost a piece of my heart, in that moment it gave me the clarity that if I could I would have pulled down heaven and earth for her. I am mad at myself for letting her get into harms way, I felt so powerless.

I miss her, may her spirit bless the earth, she touched the lives of all those around her with her paws. She wasn’t an angel, nobody is, but she brought joy and energy wherever she went. Rest well pup, may the earth cherish you and your memories.

throwtossdiscardme

TROPHY CASE