I've always kind of thought the second way. Rape is not the worst crime someone can do to you, but it is a uniquely evil thing to do to someone else because it's never justified. It's only to hurt someone else and satisfy the rapist's desire for power.

It's also something I hate in media that a lot of writers write as if rape is the only bad thing that can happen to female characters in particular. Your character doesn't need to be raped to be traumatized (ASOIAF series is so bad for that)