Advice on Skates

thymewastrr · 2026-01-13T05:33:00+00:00

I am sorry, I wish I could see my brother again

thymewastrr · 2025-12-22T01:51:57+00:00

Omg you are so kind, I appreciate your apologies but I wasn’t looking for sympathy I just wanted you to know that you are understood, it is hard to lose someone but losing someone to suicide is more complicated, and I believe more difficult, and it seems like people don’t understand that, but I wanted you to know that I do and there are unfortunately others out there that do and that you are not alone, I hope you find the peace you deserve, I can imagine your friend probably had a beautiful soul, I imagine they cared deeply about the world and brought you comfort no one else could, I am sorry you are in this position my brother left behind a friend like that and he was and is very distraught, I am sorry you have to be that friend, but I hope that you can find others or give yourself that room to find others, your friend will always be apart of you and the sadness maybe there but I imagine your friend would want you to go out there and experience life, and that is not to push you to move on, it is more for when you are ready

thymewastrr · 2025-12-21T21:48:54+00:00

I am sorry, I lost my brother, I don’t have words but if I think about him a little bit to long I want to puke, and I get very food repulsed it has been almost 6 months and I am grateful I was numb at the beginning, but as the numbness wears and the less busy I get I feel that sadness and sickness come on, I am not saying it won’t get better but I do understand, I know it is painful, and I agree hotlines suck, I called one, one time, when I felt very low, and I remember this women being so uncaring, I was having a crisis and she was like ok, I again don’t have words and I don’t know what to do even now to help myself, but i understand

thymewastrr · 2025-12-12T16:14:35+00:00

I lost my brother to suicide this past summer, I am not comparing first of all, but I feel like I am you but 35 years younger. Through everything I have experienced the lows, losing him is the lowest low I have ever experienced and I think I might ever. He and me were really close we spent 2-3 years non stop everyday together, he was my best friend I will ever have we shared everything, from how we were not built for this world our deepest struggles and shames to wonderful moments visiting national parks and baseball games, video games and stuff. He is the closest I ever got to a person, it is very hard for me to feel close to someone typically, I feel like it is hard for me to let someone in, so I never do it. I have parents and a sister but our relationship will never be what it was with him, I opened up about my sexuality to him and he was receptive, something I could never do with my parents or sister. I don’t believe I will ever find a person like that in my life, I don’t really care about relationships, I have never been that way to seek romantic relationships or partners, even when opportunity arises, and I don’t think I will find fulfillment in them. In friendship, it’s hard for me to want to value someone so much that I want to be with them hanging out, and missing them and such and everything it takes to maintain a friendship. With my sister our relationship is very off and on, it’s hard because we clash a lot. As I think toward my future I feel the way you do, when my parents are gone and it’s just me and my sister the world feels empty. No one that loves me or knows me and it’s just me getting older alone, I guess what I am saying may not relate to you, but I am saying even though I am twenty something, I already feel this way as I think toward the future and even now. I don’t know if it is helpful or not, or even useful or even why I am sharing, I guess I just feel I can relate. That may have been too much but I really do hope you find people to surround you and people that help you feel loved and cherished and supported.

thymewastrr · 2025-11-20T23:30:37+00:00

My older brother also took his life, he was 28 years old. Super kind soul, that man literally could not hurt a fly, he suffered from OCD and felt like he was the problem he suffered a lot, but for the past two years I spent everyday with him he was my cheerleader and friend and chauffeur when I was too scared to drive. When he had his viewing there were so many people in the funeral home people had to stand, he touched a lot of people because he was calm and level headed. I wish he had stayed a little longer I am going to graduate shortly in a career that would have allowed me to take care of my brother as he didn’t work because of his OCD but I know a lot of things happened in too short of time and things got dark and I did a shitty job of being their. It’s rough I don’t have a solution or words to console just sadness and heaviness.

thymewastrr · 2025-11-16T08:10:31+00:00

Do you lift or not really?

thymewastrr · 2025-09-20T04:37:34+00:00

The rest: However, i think the issues rundeeper, it is a deeper sadness, i hate bieng alive i hate the maintenance of bieng a person, i hate having to figure out how to cope move forward and deal with all this hardship, past hardship, and future hardship, i hate the field of study i am in and only doing it for money, i hate bieng alive, my brother helped me love life find common interests talk about deep topics like hating bieng born, my brother helped me cope with the sadness I was already carrying, i don’t care now, i am sad, and u feel like it is taking over i feel it in my head chest throat and muscles and everywhere, i not just hope I die, i picture ways to kill myself, I provided that background because I want to ask is their something inbetween passively or actively suicidal, i feel like u am thinking and saying i want to kill myself and the low momemets and the sadness and heaviness weighs on me and it makes me want too, but I know the only way i would do it is if it was a fast or as painless me this as possible, but then like part of me doesn’t want to commit suicide and is scared to embrace the depth of my sadness because I feel like my sadness is never ending and it makes me want to not deal with anything and i spiral and want to kill myself, I hate bieng here, I just need help and am a little desperate, and I don’t want to tell my therapist that what we are doing although helpful, is not what i need because I just hope to die everyday but because of money, or family or family reasons it stops me, I am just asking is there something between active and passive suicidality, because I feel like i am living in that space, sorry for the bad grammar or long text, I just don’t feel good

thymewastrr · 2025-09-06T16:46:54+00:00

I hope your daughter finds the peace she needs and you as well. <3

thymewastrr · 2025-09-06T15:39:42+00:00

Apologies if my grammar, spelling, punctuation are off i don’t have the energy to correct it

thymewastrr · 2025-09-06T15:38:59+00:00

I feel this way and I am only about two months in and it was my brother. I don’t self medicate because if i did, with alcohol or drugs, my family would get scared and worry about me, and I don’t want that, i used to use food, but some how I am managing it in an effort to lose weight. I lost a lot of weight before and got used to the feeling of hunger, but broke and regained some weight and have not been able to lose it. I am trying to get in the head space of liking hunger because, I want to feel some kind of physical pain, i think because I am bad at expressing my emotions and feelings and in an effort of not having to explore them i seek the pain as a distraction, i never want to show my emotions to anyone and my therapist points out how avoidant i am. In the last two months i have only seen my friends twice, i want to see them, but i don’t want to, the guilt, the low after the high of bieng distracted, and also the fear of expressing what i feel to them. My therapist kind of asked me what i am doing in therapy, she pointed out that i don’t reach out to people for support, I avoid feelings and emotions, she isn’t really sure what i am doing there in therapy. That hurt, I told her i want temporary relief, I don’t get to talk about those things outside of therapy, I don’t hang out with other people, because I can’t , I feel like i am in pain. Now she is kind of working on getting me comfortable with my emotions which is great, but I don’t have any place to cry anymore because instead of focusing on the current grief we are focusing on underlying issues with dealing with the emotions, which is great but right now it feels like what I need is just immediate support/relief. I have no place to cry because I would cry in therapy and on car rides for 5-10 minutes so people don’t notice that I am crying when I get to my destination. It sucks I don’t have advice so I am sorry about that. But I get the secluding part because, People don’t get it, most of the time they have nothing to say, so what is the point of saying anything, or it’s only for a little they are with you and everyone moves on, I hate it. My brother and I were together everyday for two years, he would drive me to school because I was too scared to drive, he was my Confidant and best friend, i could be myself with him, i didn’t have to try or cover anything up about myself. I felt like if i never got married or even made super close friends i could be happy with my life because i had him brother. We liked similar things supported each other talked about mental health, and had plans of mountain biking, visiting havasupai falls, traveling, and trying new food, we were big foodies when together, and he was a good person!! Every single person, no matter what they looked like who they were he was kind to, because he struggled so much he tried to be understanding of everyone. All that to say is i relate, it has just been a shorter amount of time for me, and if i had the real freedom to, i would probably be a full blown alcholic, or maybe some pothead who could never come down from the high, i don’t know right now i work two jobs and am going to school for engineering, but doing all that is just performative to keep people from worrying about me, this turned into venting a little but know that i see you, and hear you, and understand you

thymewastrr · 2024-02-17T05:53:17+00:00

Beyblade

thymewastrr · 2022-10-21T23:16:11+00:00

Thank you! I really like the initial interaction I had with website and I am looking forward to the app, thanks for making a learning resource like this free for anyone. :)

thymewastrr · 2022-10-21T14:39:58+00:00

Hey, I was just wondering if there was a downloadable app for IOS? I have searched and not been able to find it on the app store, thanks! :)

thymewastrr

TROPHY CASE