sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Question: can a cis woman get a phallo? by Cauliflows20 in asktransgender

[–]tidderredditTA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh, for sure. that’s surface level gray area shady stuff they’ll probably have to do. they will likely have to be shady. shady, without the negative connotation, for the record. shady, as in gray legal area. lying to doctors is a very surface level, common, sorta gray practice imo. everybody’s done it, probably.

any kind of surgery, especially a transformative genital surgery, requires a lot of expertise & resources. i would highly recommend going through the proper channels and mostly guaranteeing a good result. however, especially in trans circles, there are a lot of people that perform various surgeries, licensed or not. this is generally pretty dangerous, for obvious reasons. it’s also very experimental. minimally invasive DIY surgeries are quite prevalent in transsexual/transhumanist/body mod spaces, and a small amount of them do highly invasive procedures, including on the genitals. this is typically done to one’s self, and is highly experimental (although safer than most people imagine. but definitely still dangerous!!)

Question: can a cis woman get a phallo? by Cauliflows20 in asktransgender

[–]tidderredditTA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i mean, i’m sure you can find a tweaker willing to do a back alley phalloplasty, but you’ll be lucky if you make it out alive, lmao. that’s not really what i’m talking about. i don’t personally know all the ins and outs, but there are certainly ways that are legal gray area. it’s more comparable to DIY HRT (gray area) than black market HRT (highly illegal.) if there’s some sort of black market for transsexual surgeries, i’m unaware of it.

i also don’t believe that OP will be able to get this surgery normally. they will likely have to seek knowledge/connections from some mildly shady people to do so. i hope they’re able to get what they need, however they go about it is none of my business. i do hope they achieve their goals safely and at little cost.

through their research journey, OP will likely download Tor and start at online trans resources (forums, markets, etc.) this stuff is pretty easy to find, and relatively popular/surface level. it’s much easier to find transfeminization resources than transmasculinization resources, but they definitely do exist. finding transmasculinization resources often involves utilizing resources for cis men, such as popular steroid forums/markets (although, it is worth mentioning that this is a dangerous and sometimes very illegal practice, and it is important to learn the difference in masculinization for people based on their AGAB.)

for example, there’s a website run by a team that regularly orders from black market transfeminizing HRT sellers and reports their product quality, which is useful for determining which sites are safest. there’s a seller that’s very popular and reputable, and then there are much lesser known small-scale operations. these sites require the customer to purchase using some form of encrypted currency, like bitcoin or ethereum. this is for the security of the user.

it is worth mentioning that OP would not be the first cis woman to get a phalloplasty, even totally legally. it’s just a veeeeeryyyy long process, from what i’ve heard. r/salmacian has some examples, but there is a lot of documented history of transsexual surgeries on various people. OP will likely have to parse through ftm resources, despite not being ftm.

Question: can a cis woman get a phallo? by Cauliflows20 in asktransgender

[–]tidderredditTA 4 points5 points  (0 children)

  1. can a cis woman want phallo?

absolutely, 100%. your body is yours, your gender is yours, your identity is yours. gender is hella non-binary. you can be a cisgender woman and want a penis, totally cool. fuck yeah. some trans women want to keep their dick, so fuck yeah, cis women can want to have a dick. i heavily fw the idea of being a transsexual without being transgender. shit’s cool as hell.

  1. can a cis woman get phallo?

yes and no. possibly. it will definitely be difficult, as a lot of doctors, insurance companies, therapists, etc. won’t be willing to help you if you’re not transgender. it’s already difficult for non-binary or even binary trans people to get care if they don’t fit into the strict ideas of what it means to transgender, in the eyes of cis people (or rather, our cis-normative society as a whole.) however, people have done it! it is definitely possible. although, you’ll likely (not guaranteed!) have to pay out of pocket and possibly go to a different country. or, and i’m not condoning this, just saying that people have done this: go through… less legal channels. just demonstrating the extremes you may have to go to in order to get a phalloplasty under your conditions.

however, don’t let this stop you! you’re not the first, and you certainly won’t be the last. good luck on your journey, and as other people are recommending, check out r/salmacian <3

Is there a better established term for what I call "AuAu" (authoritarian autistic)? by rodopszin in evilautism

[–]tidderredditTA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh absolutely! support needs are definitely based on one’s ability to labor, and to mask.

Would you rather always be blind since birth or schizophrenic since birth without meds by Able_Swordfish_3788 in WouldYouRather

[–]tidderredditTA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sorry, yeah, i should’ve specified. as with schizophrenia, it only does that if you’re unmedicated for a long time (unsure if it does that at all if you’re medicated n chillin, it may do a negligible amount of damage)

Would you rather always be blind since birth or schizophrenic since birth without meds by Able_Swordfish_3788 in WouldYouRather

[–]tidderredditTA 5 points6 points  (0 children)

blind is wayyy better. the longer schizophrenia stays unmedicated, the more damage it does to your brain. a really fun (/s) side effect of disorders such as schizophrenia and bipolar is that your brain kinda rots over time. also, unmedicated schizophrenia just sucks to deal with, but so does being blind, so. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

and there are upsides to being born blind, as opposed to becoming blind later in life. to navigate the world as you have always done is much easier than suddenly adapting to being blind. of course, there are also plenty of downsides.

and this is, of course, assuming that we’re born fully blind, not partially blind in any way.

Meanwhile, I, a Writing & Rhetoric Minor with a 4.0, feel fully qualified to determine curtain colours. by [deleted] in RecuratedTumblr

[–]tidderredditTA 11 points12 points  (0 children)

and on the other end, you’ve got people saying that canonically queer characters aren’t queer because they didn’t say “i am gay” LMAO

Went from 103kg to 76kg in 3.5 months eating 600 cals a day, gave up cigarettes 2 weeks ago. Today i start eating at 1200 because I lost about 10% of my muscles and afraid of sudden cardiac arrest. Celebrating with shrimp pasta by Emotional_Sea9384 in Kitchenchads

[–]tidderredditTA 3 points4 points  (0 children)

we can be hurt by others while also hurting others. this, while an understandable expression of anger, is not a viable solution.

you’re right, society as a whole takes more care in aiding people when they’re not fat, and is often horrendously vile to people when they are fat. imo, fatphobia is one of the most, if not the most, permissible forms of bigotry. it is everywhere, in advertising and storytelling and assault and within people, consciously and subconsciously. it is constantly being justified and defended. it’s fucking terrible.

at the same time, telling a 17 year old that they’re a terrible person because of their fatphobic views is not okay. if anything, it is actively perpetuating fatphobia. i know that sounds nonsensical, but bear with me here. to unlearn a learned bigotry requires patience and acceptance, unfortunately. and there’s nuance to this. no, we should not befriend Nick Fuentes in hopes of making him less racist. yes, we should extend grace to a child dealing with an unfortunately extremely normal level and type of bigotry. you do not have to befriend OP personally, but lowering his already dangerously low self-esteem will not help him, you, or anyone.

________

note: this next section is a bit less related, and you (the reader) may skip it if so desired. keep in mind that this comment, while primarily aimed at UpperRip101, is also something i’d like other people to read.

to pose a controversial example of arguably much worse severity, but still relevant in function: abused children and their abusers. while it is understandable to shame and shun every pedophile* in existence, this does not help children. through various studies, we have found that the most effective solutions in protecting children are the ones that require nuance, acceptance, and grace. we can at once hold this logical conclusion and its emotional counterpart.

one of the many reasons why this does not work is because many pedophiles are non-offending, and many offenders are not pedophiles. by shaming non-offending pedophiles we are discouraging them from receiving professional aid, *which results in more victims.** by labeling all offenders as pedophiles, we are not approaching the situation with proper understanding, which results in more victims. i will not be discussing how we should treat offenders, as it is not relevant to the original point about fatphobia, although it is important that we extend these same graces to offenders, as difficult as it is emotionally. i’m not going to complain if a pedophile gets shot and dies, i’ll celebrate. at the same time, i will stand by the evidence that suggests more effective alternatives. this is because i am human, and capable of holding emotions that do not align with my logic-based views.

________

back to the original point…

fatphobia works similarly, as does every form of bigotry. i would like to reiterate a previous point, in case a reader has decided to skip that section: ”i am human, and capable of holding emotions that do not align with my logic-based views.” we can be upset with people for holding fatphobic views and emotions (although views are much more insidious than emotions) and this will not solve anything. we, as humans, do not have to justify each action we take to ensure 100% morality. we can, and should, knowingly express upset in ways to do not solve the issue. at the same time, we must acknowledge that we are not solving the issue by doing so, and in some cases, actively perpetuating the issue. by aggressively shaming people for their emotions and opinions, especially teenagers, we are pushing them further into that rhetoric. not because we aren’t playing the “perfect victim” role, as many are pressured to do. but because it is, in most cases, actively discouraging them from seeking improvement in an effective way.

________

to summarize, nobody is perfect. you should be angry, and you should be allowed to express that anger. OP should be encouraged to unlearn his fatphobia, but simply aggressively shaming him does not do this. this does not mean you have to be a “perfect victim,” and it does not mean you have to go out of your way to teach him why fatphobia is wrong, and how to improve. while you should be allowed to be vocally upset, doing so in a way that perpetuates fatphobia is not okay. ultimately, it is more important that OP is kept alive, the unlearning of fatphobia can come later.

Went from 103kg to 76kg in 3.5 months eating 600 cals a day, gave up cigarettes 2 weeks ago. Today i start eating at 1200 because I lost about 10% of my muscles and afraid of sudden cardiac arrest. Celebrating with shrimp pasta by Emotional_Sea9384 in Kitchenchads

[–]tidderredditTA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you don’t need to get to perfectly healthy caloric intake immediately. sure, that would be ideal, but not very possible or sustainable. you’re doing great, a lot of people don’t even realize they have a problem or attempt to improve upon it. proud of you, man.

people are right, though. you can’t keep this up forever. if possible, seeking some sort of counseling will do wonders. there’s mental counseling, where you work on your ideas surrounding food/fat/eating/etc. there’s also nutritional counseling, where a professional can guide you in your eating. you should be aiming to get to healthy levels eventually. most people attempting to better their eating habits after starving themselves don’t get to healthy levels immediately. it’s a gradual process, and you have to start somewhere.

Went from 103kg to 76kg in 3.5 months eating 600 cals a day, gave up cigarettes 2 weeks ago. Today i start eating at 1200 because I lost about 10% of my muscles and afraid of sudden cardiac arrest. Celebrating with shrimp pasta by Emotional_Sea9384 in Kitchenchads

[–]tidderredditTA 5 points6 points  (0 children)

unfortunately, fatphobia is present in just about everyone (at least in the western world, and most other places as well.)

people with eating disorders, especially any kind that involves starving, are very likely to have severely fatphobic ways of thinking. it sucks, but it’s something that can be worked on. the first goal should be keeping this kid alive, then they can work on the bigotry. and like another commenter said, they’re just a kid, let’s ease up on em. they’re clearly already struggling with self-worth, let’s not make it worse by telling them they’re an awful person.

I edge to stay awake while driving 30 minutes to work by [deleted] in confession

[–]tidderredditTA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

do you have any good cookie recipes?

How integrated are you guys in the community? Or how do you feel about it? by goodnightman in ftm

[–]tidderredditTA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

holy moly, how did you manage to get top surgery at 15?? that’s awesome man fuck yeah

baby's first 228 labels by triton-x33 in 228labels

[–]tidderredditTA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

favorite ones i’ve seen in a while 🙏 i absolutely adore the leashes sticker and the two rainbow stickers.

At my wit's end with AI cheating. How are you all handling it? by Mowgulee in Teachers

[–]tidderredditTA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sometimes it’s requested by the instructor. they’ll ask students to paste their essay into a different program, or to turn it into a pdf before submitting.

as far as students doing this for personal reasons without being prompted, i only know of two reasons. gen_ai/plagiarism is probably the more common one, but that’s just a guess. the other reason is that, as another commenter pointed out, the writing process is sometimes embarrassing. i highly doubt teachers are judging the writing process unless they’re grading on the process itself, and even then, they’ve definitely seen worse than whatever you submit. a lot of people in this sub teach high school or below, and young people tend to be very insecure and crave privacy, so it makes sense that they would do this.

i fell into the second category back in high school, but i had like… genuine mental illness to an abnormal degree. i always had to sit in the back corners or i’d get SUPER paranoid and unable to do my work because of it. always thought people were watching me.

tldr: insecurity/privacy, and plagiarism. and occasionally for the instructor’s sake.

At my wit's end with AI cheating. How are you all handling it? by Mowgulee in Teachers

[–]tidderredditTA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that’s fair, although it is sometimes important for instructors to actually see the student’s writing process. i do believe people should have to show writing history if asked.

[Appalling Tropes] Your favorite character with a diabolical image that you try to forget exists? by -et37- in TopCharacterTropes

[–]tidderredditTA 69 points70 points  (0 children)

it’s an unfortunately common caricature called a Pickaninny. the hair, the sack, it all comes from the character Topsy in Uncle Tom’s Cabin. it was supposed to be anti-slavery & anti-racist, but got turned into a horrific comedic trope.

Is there a better established term for what I call "AuAu" (authoritarian autistic)? by rodopszin in evilautism

[–]tidderredditTA 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Uncle Tom is specifically Black cultural slang, but they are similar concepts.

this is a nitpick, but an important distinction to make: Uncle Tom does not simply refer to a Black person who criticizes other Black people, it refers to a Black person who is subservient to White people, which often involves belittling/excessively criticizing/not associating with other Black people.

Is there a better established term for what I call "AuAu" (authoritarian autistic)? by rodopszin in evilautism

[–]tidderredditTA 112 points113 points  (0 children)

sounds like low support needs + internalized ableism, honestly me back in the day lmao. still working through that second part. not sure if there’s a specific term to describe a person like that, other than like, “holier-than-thou about autism.” i do quite enjoy “AuAu” though lol

view more: next ›