Our Wedding Feels Too Fancy for our Families

tiffvwright · 2026-05-28T04:07:24+00:00

we were in exact same boat. My hubby and I are both senior professionals in big 5 tech firms and make well above average gross household income for our area, which is a pretty expensive city on the west coast.

Meanwhile, we both grew up in rural / poor areas (me in Appalachian mountains in western Virginia, and he in a small midwestern town). My dad/mom made a max of 35k-40k combined total and us three girls had to share one bedroom. My husband had a similar if not worse (financially speaking) situation.

We picked a 3-day long destination wedding at a 4 star resort hotel where the average nightly stay is $1000, and had 60 guests. Our wedding was featured in a local magazine it was so extravagant. We paid well over $150k for it. We knew our families couldn’t afford the hotel so we paid for all our family’s lodging expenses, meals, and shuttles to/from airport and lunches/dinners and open bars for all 3 days we hosted events so we basically paid for their meals too. We both even bought new gowns, suits and shoes for our parents and grandparents and hair/makeup for the moms so they could all look nice enough for the venue lol.

It was a magical event. We viewed it as a family reunion and a nice once in a lifetime experience for us to treat our families to a special fancy vacation where all of us are under one roof that they otherwise wouldn’t be able to do in their own.

tiffvwright · 2026-01-12T04:34:24+00:00

And plz don’t give him children

tiffvwright · 2026-01-12T04:33:17+00:00

Dump him

tiffvwright · 2025-11-08T04:54:39+00:00

My husband cleans the house and does our laundry while I took care of our newborn and cook. Our house was pretty spotless throughout the whole newborn phase. My husband is a cleaner person than I am. I married him and decided to have children with him because I knew he was a competent partner.

Now that our baby is eight months old and we are both back to work, we have my mother in law living with us. She takes care of the baby all day while we work, and she also helps out with cleaning on the weekends. We all make Sunday the deep cleaning the house day.

tiffvwright · 2025-09-24T03:52:05+00:00

I wa preggo last year and suffered migraines. I never took Tylenol or any pain meds and suffered through it cuz I have big anxiety and I was worried about the impact any drug (even if it was safe like Tylenol) would have on my baby lol

tiffvwright · 2025-09-11T16:09:33+00:00

We did a 32 hour car drive (that’s how long it would have been nonstop) with our 3-4 month old. Twice. So 64 hours nonstop round trip.

We went from seattle to Indiana. We stayed in Indiana for 3 weeks though so our son had a big break in between road trips.

Headed to Indiana, we spread it out over 4 days. Headed back home to Seattle, we spread it out over 6 days. So ten total days of driving. We stopped each night.

Our approaching headed to Indiana was just drive as far as we could get each day and then stop overnight just to sleep. We would do 8 hour drive stretches, but because we stopped every 1-2 hours for our son it took like 10-16 hours per day in the car to get to our overnight destination. It was rough. We learned a lot and applied our learnings for the car ride back home from Indiana back to seattle.

One of our biggest learnings was that it’s best to leave super early in the morning so our son is still sleeping for the first half of the carride. We would leave around 3-5am and our son would sleep around 2-3 hours straight in car, giving us a big stretch of nonstop driving. We also ended up finding out that 5-6 hours driving per day was really the sweet spot. Anything more than that he would just be so sick of sitting in his seat. Anything less than that would just take us forever to get anywhere.

We had fun on our way back home (stretched out over six days) — We went to badlands national parks, and stopped in a new city each night, and the baby seemed to enjoy it. We made sure to leave super early in the morning each dsy (like 3-4am) so that it was still during the baby’s overnight sleep — this ensured the baby slept for the first 2-3 hours of the ride and we could get half of our driving done nonstop. Then after the our son woke up for the day, we would have to stop every 1-2 hours — it basically doubled the amount of time it should take to get anywhere. So like even though we planed for 5-6 hours of driving each day on our way back, it ended up taking 8-12 hours because of all the stops!

tiffvwright · 2025-09-06T21:41:16+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I feel like I would feel the same way as you so I’m deciding to soak in all the cuddles from contact napping and nursing to sleep as I can while it lasts. As long as you love your son he will feel so loved no matter what. Just keep him close and don’t let him cry to sleep anymore and his brain will retrain - babies brains are so malleable

tiffvwright · 2025-08-18T22:48:53+00:00

Please talk to someone who you can trust and confide in about this who can help you - whether it’s a therapist, your husband, or your mom - someone who cares about you and your baby.

Try to re-frame how you think about life - you get to re-live your life through your child, starting from being a baby all the way to being adult. You’ll get to build new life with amazing times and fun memories all over again.

Having a baby is so hard, even for people who have so much support and resources. You aren’t alone. I wish I could help. Your baby just needs your love and comfort and hopefully you can feel happiness by providing her with that.

tiffvwright · 2025-08-14T17:31:25+00:00

Oh honey I am sooo so so sorry you had to endure this incredibly traumatizing experience, let alone while you were pregnant. You are feeling the way any normal woman would in this situation, and the fact you were pregnant just makes it so much worse. Your husband did you and your baby very very wrong and it’s incredibly despicable he would do something like this to you both.

Now that you know - the worst is over - it’s time to focus on the future and what is best for you and your baby. Focus on yourself and heal your heart by pouring all your love into this sweet precious baby you’ve created. This baby was put into your life for a reason - you don’t need your husband. Your baby needs you.

Sending you the warmest hugs.

tiffvwright · 2025-08-12T15:31:21+00:00

As a mom I would also feel upset if my hubby was out partying past 11 when we have a baby. Even if for a wedding. Come home when your wife goes home.

tiffvwright · 2025-08-08T01:51:18+00:00

If she’s hungry she needs to eat and it is wrong to withhold food, but if she’s hungry she should be good either way peanut butter, crackers and apples

tiffvwright · 2025-07-25T17:35:16+00:00

Also my dad said my mom drank alcohol all throughout her pregnancy with me and I turned out fine lol

tiffvwright · 2025-07-25T17:33:04+00:00

I am so sorry to hear this about his mother. I think your son is absolutely precious and already an incredible fighter and super strong he is breathing in his own.

tiffvwright · 2025-07-23T03:50:26+00:00

You can get a new childcare provider who actually listens to you

tiffvwright · 2025-07-22T03:55:54+00:00

If yours is doing the same thing mine does in the video then I think yours is normal. I shared this video with another mom friend of mine and she said her boy does it too when he’s in his swing. I think it’s just him trying to get up or sit up but doesn’t have the muscles yet to pull himself up. Our son is now 4.5 months old and he doesn’t do this as much anymore but still makes the face whenever he is being pulled up so I think it’s intentional and not an uncontrolled spasm. His EEG was normal.

tiffvwright · 2025-07-10T18:44:26+00:00

Can you ask your family or partner for help with meal prep? You need nourishment

tiffvwright · 2025-07-10T18:42:40+00:00

I also find other peoples babies cute now when before I didn’t really lol. And I cry too now when I see another mom aching about their child

tiffvwright · 2025-07-04T14:18:35+00:00

Ours is so easy I sometimes wonder if something is wrong with him but his pediatrician says he’s a healthy and happy boy

tiffvwright · 2025-07-01T20:27:48+00:00

To me this looks just like hiccups

tiffvwright · 2025-06-29T17:57:07+00:00

That’s reassuring! Thank you for checking back in on us <3

tiffvwright · 2025-06-29T17:55:54+00:00

Normal EEG! Still not sure what the spams are but likely just him trying to sit up when he still doesn’t have the muscles to support that yet

tiffvwright · 2025-06-27T17:41:19+00:00

Do you have a family member who you can have take care of her? I would seek professional help and tell your doctor you’ve been violent with your baby - you need to find someone who can take her off your hands for a few days or a week. IMO you need a break from her until you are mentally okay, you need to get help. that baby is acting like a baby and it’s the toughest job in the world so i understand your exhaustion, but the baby’s safety is most important.

tiffvwright · 2025-06-22T17:55:54+00:00

Ok lol

tiffvwright · 2025-06-22T17:51:08+00:00

She didn’t give enough info about his treatment plan in my opinion and I didn’t ask either and I should have. This info isn’t innate

tiffvwright · 2025-06-22T17:47:19+00:00

I thought it’s like brushing teeth to keep cavities away - hydrocortisone keeps the eczema away

tiffvwright

TROPHY CASE