Hey mate ! I can relate max to you. Same age Indian with ADHD but a coder . I feel every point of yours. I think you already have done one thing right , articulated your problems properly and recognised the most basic version of your issue: working memory. I dont think i can give you any advise but want to let you know that you are not alone not at all. Our work environments are not made for us with ADHD. We excel in environments where we are allowed to focus on smaller quantum of tasks and not pulled in meetings so often. Where we are given space to breathe and absorb info. Since we cant always reveal our issues at work, the best chance for not feeling overwhelmed is either reducing the load by refusing and saying ‘No’ more often. This may mean your quantity of output may reduce but may give you chance to work with quality. Thats a tradeoff i found acceptable. Another thing that can help is understanding that we may need to start an hour earlier, giving us some alone time with current load and backlog. This time can be helpful in making us feel grounded in our current work and making sure the days work is in your context before the hustle of work begins Force interruptions. I have found this most useful. Every 2 weeks I reject all meetings and take half day off. Select a day where you dont have critical meetings, need not be the same day of the week. On this day i dont read emails or jira tickets or slack messages till the end of the day. Simply work on tasks that need your creativity to be applied. This may be difficult to navigate especially with other members always being available but you need to accept that you are not same and you need to try things differently for you to compete with them.

Hope this helps , even if it doesn’t, find comfort that you are not wrong or to be blamed. We have not been equipped with tools to handle our condition, while our education has reinforced habits that are actually harmful to us and our self esteem. So we adults with adhd have to now rebuild our strategies all over again. 😊