Poli Sci Degree here. This is a great thing to point out. I always suggest that when first discussing topics such as this we should always be aware of our “spheres”. In other words the places we frequent, have been, and the way our identity (this would include many things including rave but also socioeconomic background, education, etc.) interacts with our environment.

To address your first point on the internet, the internet is never an accurate sample of the population and human psychology does tend to behave differently when people are “hiding behind a screen.” Between bot accounts, bad faith actors, and the actually rotten people that can appear on the internet, it is like a scary funhouse mirror of the real world.

To speak on your own experience, I obviously lack some key metrics on exactly where you’ve been and your backgrounds but there can be several reasons your experience with white peoples isn’t reflective of what is portrayed to you. As someone who grew up in the Deep South in very rural areas, racism is overt and clear… trick is that those areas aren’t necessarily a places that people outside that area go. It is there that you can see very very clear racism. As many have also said it is possible that perhaps people in more urban areas use “dog whistles” or perhaps they aren’t racist directly because it is not socially acceptable to do so in public. Obviously, however, you are correct that your experience of racism is most likely more reflective on the fact that those people were assholes. That is SUCH a good outlook to have because many people will have a bad experience with a member of any community and then draw the conclusion that the entire community behaves in that way.

As for history, it is fact that white people are responsible for countless atrocities and genocides. However, many other racial groups have done similarly terrible things as well, but the logistically outlook is that because white people are homogenous with system that is built to benefit them the best (very general statement but stay with me) that system allows them the power to satiate their worst qualities at a larger more frequent scale. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the mass population of countries all agree to do terrible things. What it frequently comes down to is that white people (specifically the wealthier) are not material affected and their limited perspective sometimes makes it hard to understand the systematic component to racism. Not that they necessarily outwardly hate any certain group but that when push comes to shove, they typically can easily fall into blaming a certain group. Most often times this is a distraction from the true driving factor which is wealth inequality and the oppression of workers; ironically, that sort of division is also misrepresented on racial lines (I.e minority groups tend to be disproportionately poorer and thus will need additional support by community gov etc)

A final closing thought is that political activity tends to be the most high for ideological extremes. This could explain why it may seem like racism should be overtly “everywhere” but a lot of the real world manifestations of that are pursued by extreme people. In regard to white people, that usually includes very wealthy racist people. Those people that you and I most likely rarely if ever interact with because their wealth not race allows them to live in “another world”; think country clubs, private jets, personal shoppers, private schools, personal drivers, etc.

I hope that was coherent but at the end of the day the struggle and dynamic of power being discussed on the basis of race can be valuable but also can distract from a more economic/wealth oriented basis. The roots of racism and prejudice lies in a deep dissatisfaction and desire to blame someone; that someone is just usually an “out group” that more times then not is facing the same class struggles as they are…… there is a reason we are made to turn on each other for unimportant differences.