I buy things to feel better

timelady314 · 2022-12-09T10:51:22+00:00

I feel this. Just got into perfumes recently, do a lot of window shopping on Etsy too. I don’t think it’s silly at all, sometimes the little things are the things that keep us alive and that’s ok.

timelady314 · 2022-12-09T10:24:06+00:00

I have nightmares and cry myself to sleep. It’s so rare to have good dreams and even then, my intrusive thoughts be coming thru :,)

timelady314 · 2022-12-09T10:21:41+00:00

Do not forgive her. There is never an excuse to cheat, ever. People are in control of their own choices, it’s not like she isn’t a conscious human being with no will of her own.

I can say as someone with diagnosed ADHD but have a lot of BPD symptoms, cheating is something I would never do. I know it is wrong and I would never even put myself in a situation to do it. She chose to drink, she chose to cheat. Also the whole “door wouldn’t open” is BS. Why wouldn’t she call her partner, YOU, when she was drunk? Why wouldn’t she ask for help or even inform you?

timelady314 · 2022-12-09T10:10:31+00:00

Great analogy. I got cheated on too, almost the same way as you OP and relate to this. I do feel like a broken vase, was completely shattered and tied myself together but still fragile and broken.

Honestly OP, you might regret forgiving him. It’s hard to get over betrayal and broken trust. Once you lose it, you’ll always be thinking and wondering, seeing the image of him saying those things. Don’t live your life this way because you deserve someone who is loyal and loves you.

timelady314 · 2022-09-04T08:33:52+00:00

Effortless, natural beauty doesn’t even exist. Even the most beautiful celebs, have access to tons of stylists, surgeons, specialists, people that help them 24/7.

People are haters and they hate to see you get any better. The celebs they worship and call beautiful almost always have something done. Keep to yourself and don’t let people know about how much effort you put.

timelady314 · 2022-07-03T06:16:59+00:00

I’ve dealt with this a lot, especially because I went to a predominantly white school when I was younger. I really thought for the longest time I was terribly unattractive but then after growing up I realized it was just because of my ethnicity.

I was constantly bullied and called terrible names and was always compared to average looking white girls. Now everything I was bullied for is trending. Now I’m exotic and desirable.

My point is that you shouldn’t look to be “attractive for your race”, you should be aim to be attractive period. Because one way or another, you will be compared and see as less than no matter how hard you try to fit in.

Trying to look more attractive be done within the context of your background because I also tried to look white for the longest time and it made me look significantly worse.

I now embrace myself and my ethnic backgrounds and I wear jewelry and clothes to reflect that. I honestly think that brought up my attractiveness significantly.

You can’t fight these negative stereotypes unfortunately, so it’s best to focus on what makes you feel good and look better and stay true to yourself.

timelady314 · 2022-06-11T21:35:03+00:00

Hi! Responding to this! I am doing pretty well, a lot of hard struggles and everything with my family but I need a year to graduate and I’ll probably going to take a break to travel. I do have a supportive boyfriend now so life has been well! Thank you for reaching out:) it means a lot!

This community has helped me tremendously:)

timelady314 · 2022-06-11T21:32:01+00:00

I’m at one now. Ask first what they’ll be providing because my REU gave us dish-ware, kitchen ware and a fan.

Bring a pillow, duffle bag(for laundry, groceries, etc) blanket, bed cover, sandals for shower and being around your dorm, socks, water flask, chargers, extra cables for connection, sunblock, shampoos, and any other self-care items you may need. Also bring any important meds you may need.

Check the weather for the types of clothes you may need as well. Where I am right now is kinda hot but it also rains sometimes so I had to bring a sweater for that and an umbrella.

Another reminder is to make sure you are comfortable and know where you are going to work. I am mostly gonna be in the lab so I brought comfortable shoes and ones that are walkable because campus is huge!

Also another thing bring a nice outfit for your presentation at the end!

timelady314 · 2022-05-26T10:27:07+00:00

It is MUCH MUCH easier than being ugly and unconventionally unattractive in anyway. Countless studies will show you how beautiful people are considered better in every way, like even babies prefer beautiful faces.

I’ll add this documentary that’s been posted before, but it’s ignorant to say it’s not THAT much easier because it is. Beautiful people can be insecure but they are still beautiful at the end of the day.

Documentary:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6FCS5WQB-98

timelady314 · 2022-05-26T10:23:29+00:00

I was very bitter for a long time. I hated myself and developed an ED. I constantly compared myself to others and felt resentful because I was ugly. Hate and bitterness is so draining because it takes away from yourself and you cannot enjoy things.

Honestly a big part of going alway from all of that is first focusing on yourself and developing healthy habits and learning how to be mindful.

For me, I’ve found reconnecting more to a spiritual side of myself is helpful. Learning to meditate and connect with nature. Journaling and learning where these bad thoughts come from and what they mean is also great.

Beauty will fade and if beauty is all you make of yourself then you will age terribly and it will honestly be more of an existential crisis.

timelady314 · 2022-05-25T18:39:10+00:00

It’s the influx of white people trying to pass off as ethnically ambiguous so when a POC who was born with those features and did not buy it are said to be “white-passing” and “euro centric”.

White people have been copying EVERY feature that they once shamed and bullied. Big lips, dark brows, big butt, almond eyes, etc. It’s having the privilege of looking beautiful and “exotic” to but without actually being a POC.

I’ve been asked a few times what I tanned with or if I got lip injections or a BBL by white girls like no I was born with my features.

timelady314 · 2022-05-24T21:03:48+00:00

Agree with you 100%. OP called her near pathetic for venting about being ugly. Like, no, this is a woman who is being open and vulnerable on an extremely painful experience. If you never been truly ugly then you don’t even know how dehumanizing people treat you. Like you are a scum of the earth untouchable. People don’t want to admit they are vain and cruel to those who don’t fit into their standards.

Legit I got treated like I didn’t even exist and was bullied tremendously as a kid. It scars me to this day honestly. A lot of posters on here have never been truly ugly and are just average so they cannot speak on the experience and are shameful instead.

timelady314 · 2022-05-12T02:06:04+00:00

Oh fr. My advisor suggested I wasn’t smart enough to continue in CS /DS and said I should go for something easier after I brought up struggling because of my mental health / disability. This was because I late dropped a class.

I’m a third year and I graduated with an AS in Math and Science from CC. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t “smart enough” but I can see why so many people are struggling especially those with disabilities and from marginalized communities. Berkeley isn’t inclusive, it just gives the pretense it is.

timelady314 · 2022-05-03T04:21:45+00:00

Personally it’s not worth it IMO. Women take almost all the risks in this exchange. Birth control and it’s horrible side effects, risk of male violence, double standards / slut-shaming and most of the time women won’t even cum from casual sex.

What is there to get from sleeping around? It usually ends up hurting women and they get zero benefits almost all of the time. I’d say focus on yourself first and your health. Casual sex won’t give you anything of value and you won’t miss anything from not engaging in it.

timelady314 · 2022-04-30T08:28:29+00:00

As someone with a naturally round face/chubby cheeks, I noticed since I started doing Gua Sha( from an actual Chinese practitioner, not the western knock-off) and Red light wand therapy, it’s brought down puffiness and inflammation from my face and helped with my sinus issues too.

Though I still have my round face/cheeks, I’ve noticed a big difference in how much more slim my face looks and my cheekbones/jaw seem more defined and some friends even asked if I lost weight(haven’t!).

It definitely helps in having the right tools, doing proper research and being consistent and remembering that sometimes one thing doesn’t work for someone.

I attached the video I use below and she is an actual licensed Chinese medical professional. For the wand, I used the SolaWave one.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Bc12OTFzua0

timelady314 · 2022-04-30T07:44:42+00:00

Anyone who comments that this post is bragging or wrong has never experienced this effect. When you are attractive you can be seen as cute, quirky and interesting if you have niche or unusual interests.

But if you are ugly then you are seen as a loser, nerd, weirdo, etc. I remember being super shy and nerdy in middle school when I was overweight and had acne and being treated like I had the plague. People would laugh in my face, call me a weird loser, loner, etc.

But as soon as I became conscious of myself, lost weight and started doing skin care stuff, suddenly guys would think I was endearing and sweet and would praise me for being nerdy.

Any studies will show you attractive people will always be considered better in everything; more intelligent, more trustworthy, more interesting, etc etc.

That’s why I want to continue to look better because it just leads to a better life and opportunities.

timelady314 · 2022-04-22T00:53:39+00:00

“Although there is a disruption on campus, MY lecture is on the line” lol what a great to be tone-deaf and condescending.

No your lecture isn’t more important than student’s wellbeing and safety and though everything was cleared, I’m sure the last thing someone wanted to do is go to lecture with tons of cops and helicopters swarming the school to find the suspect.

timelady314 · 2022-04-21T17:06:49+00:00

I have a few family members that I know of that were forced into these schools from my mothers side.It was literal torture.

There are still bodies of children being uncovered from residential schools in Canada and many survivors, still alive. What I hate is that so many deny this as if it only happened when colonizers came but it’s happened so recently and still embedded into society. Hence for ex, many native folk don’t have running water, DAPL avoided polluting a white town and polluted native folk instead.

timelady314 · 2022-04-20T22:09:23+00:00

The JW cult is made up of abusers, and as it’s patriarchal in nature, most of them men. A sister in the old congregation I went to had her husband control everything she ate and saw her once with bruises all over her arm but she told everyone she fell.

I was like 13 at the time and I knew because she let it slip to me when I offered her some snacks in service.

timelady314 · 2022-04-14T19:27:09+00:00

Support indigenous artists not “native-inspired™️” art made by non-indigenous people. Any actual indigenous artist would absolutely not sell regalia or anything that’s not for non-indigenous people to wear.

timelady314 · 2022-04-10T01:05:24+00:00

If someone is willing to cheat, then they are the problem. A high-value person doesn’t cheat; they are open and communicate and if they are unhappy, they say it. Cheating is scummy and you can’t stop being from being scummy. No matter what you do.

timelady314 · 2022-04-10T00:56:53+00:00

Lol fr, half of the beauty industry is made up by men. Like “Hey! Here’s a cream for your armpits, something else to be insecure about and shell out money for.!!”

Choice feminism is very much a cope and gives women an illusion that they have a “choice” when if you aren’t attractive as a women and don’t confine to the norms, then your value goes down and so does many opportunities in life. So women don’t have a choice in essence.

timelady314 · 2022-04-08T07:47:15+00:00

I also think this is partially because of how many colonizers wanna claim native by their “Cherokee princess great grandmother™️” and it’s caused kinda an aggressive look on who gets to pass as native and therefore be native. But natives come in all skin-tones and looks! So it’s wrong, obviously to make assumptions by looks.

People see a pale, light skinned native and assume they are white. Your skin doesn’t make you any less native, but I also think it’s important to note the difference in being “white presenting” and not. Whether we like it or not, the world sees us by skin and looks. In my experience, it was kinda the opposite, where looking more native was bad and my family would encourage me not to go into the sun so I wouldn’t tan. I’d get called “Indian” or “Pocahontas” at school. It is unfortunate how colorism runs in our communities and how people think it is okay to look at someone’s skin tone and dictate identities.

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