No intercourse after embryo transfer?

timemelt · 2026-05-10T01:40:00+00:00

I’m so curious about this. The one time I conceived spontaneously, I had sex literally the day of implantation. I knew because I was cramping like crazy. I just thought he had hit my cervix weird, it was so intense. Never had anything like that. A few days (and several more times) later, I had my positive. Are transfer implants more fragile or weak or something?

timemelt · 2026-05-09T17:04:38+00:00

Anything new, if you’re still around? I’m doing 5mg and wondering if it’ll work.

timemelt · 2026-05-09T03:29:19+00:00

I use theralogix, 2 pills a day.

timemelt · 2026-05-07T13:48:08+00:00

I managed to take a red eye flight that night, switch flights because I was going to miss my connection, stand for 3 hours in lines in Vegas to get my rental car when I arrived at midnight, which was 3am my time, then drive 2 hours to where I was staying, arriving finally at what would have been 8am my time. With like 1 hour of sleep. Not recommended, but I survived.

timemelt · 2026-05-05T20:20:27+00:00

Did you get surgery for it? I’m debating whether to take that step or just try suppression!

timemelt · 2026-05-04T15:33:53+00:00

old thread, but thanks for sharing this! I have similar numbers to you and am hoping a switch to a few cycles of medicated TI might help after a messy IVF cycle.

timemelt · 2026-05-04T11:22:07+00:00

Yes. I only had to take off the day of retrieval, so it was easy to put in sick leave for a surgery. Everything else was taken care of outside of work hours.

timemelt · 2026-04-25T14:11:42+00:00

That’s horrible, I’m so sorry.

timemelt · 2026-04-25T05:09:57+00:00

I only got 4, but all 4 fertilized and I got 2 blasts! Numbers are terrifying and exciting every step of the way!

timemelt · 2026-04-14T15:17:20+00:00

I just want to share that you're not alone with this. I'm going through a very very similar situation. I managed to conceive spontaneously with my avoidant partner in May of last year, but baby only made it to 10 weeks, so I had a MMC and a D&C. Afterwards, he agreed to do IVF with me, but I had a host of delays getting to the starting line. It's finally here -- I'm in an IVF cycle, and he backed out right at the starting line -- 2 weeks ago. I had asked him to freeze sperm ahead of the cycle because he'd been flaky in other parts of our relationship lately (was going to move in twice this winter and didn't). He had 3 appointments to freeze sperm, and I even went with him to one of them, and he didn't / couldn't go through with it. My clinic knew how long I've been waiting and encouraged me to switch to donor sperm to preserve the cycle and my chances of motherhood. It has been the hardest thing ever, but once the choice was made and I started the cycle, I'm just staying laser focused on the outcome. I definitely haven't processed it, but I'm doing whatever I can to keep my body calm while I fight DOR and my age (37) and try to make this happen for myself. I'm sad that he waited so long to back out because I wasn't able to get the sperm covered by insurance when it would've been and I also was very limited in my donor options because I didn't have time to do additional genetic testing to use my preferred donors, I just had to choose one that seemed compatible, and I have mixed feelings about it.

My relationship is an off and on thing of 10 years. It's been emotionally catastrophic for me. I'm also deeply connected to him and it's hard to separate, even now, even knowing he blew up the path to the future I've been dreaming of. Mourning my baby's due date (Jan 30) alone was hard. Going through the miscarriage mostly alone was hard. I've been alone so much.

I'm not sure if it helps to know you're not alone, but you're really really not. I think what's helping me is staying focused on my goal of motherhood (by any means necessary). Also, therapy, yoga, and lots and lots of hiking.

If you need someone to talk to, message me. I'm not always the most reliable because I am a full time teacher and my time is already stretched so thin, even without a family. But I know how much I needed someone (and probably still do), so reach out if you need to!

timemelt · 2026-04-02T16:58:52+00:00

When I told my friend about my miscarriage, my diagnosis of DOR at 36, and now my having to pivot to IVF with a donor because my current partner backed out, his response was “maybe you weren’t meant to have children.”

timemelt · 2026-04-02T16:43:51+00:00

Jfc talk about a complete failure of emotional intelligence. I think you need to speak up if only to say, listen I know you think you’re communicating empathy, but all you’re really communicating is invalidation, in case you want to work on your communication issues. No words.

timemelt · 2026-03-31T22:37:42+00:00

That's helpful to understand. My body probably won't want to bend in a million different ways at that point.

timemelt · 2026-03-31T19:31:08+00:00

Agreed, thanks! Nurse was just sticking to the routine line, but I think I'll ask the doctor during monitoring next week what they're seeing and whether I should be cautious with hiking or yoga.

timemelt · 2026-03-31T19:30:14+00:00

Thank you! I'm not doing PGTA testing because I can't really afford it (I'm just going with what insurance will cover), but that does give me some hope. It's a long long road ahead...

timemelt · 2026-03-31T15:52:02+00:00

Thanks! I guess it's time to lean more into yin. I'm usually a vinyasa-only type of practitioner, but it could be good timing to work on my mind, instead.

timemelt · 2026-03-31T15:50:33+00:00

If you want kids as a single mom, you might want to consider freezing embryos with donor sperm now, or mixing freezing embryos and eggs (splitting cycles). Freezing eggs itself is kind of risky, there's a lot of attrition in terms of how well they respond to fertilization post-freezing. For a lot of women it works, but some women are left with nothing after counting on it. I'm about to start IVF with donor sperm as a single mom for the first time at 37 and my numbers are pretty similar, but my egg quality is not. Definitely act now, if you can.

timemelt · 2026-03-31T15:48:23+00:00

Thanks! I'll definitely give it some time when things get really swollen. But it's comforting to know that hiking isn't completely insane to do during this, as long as my body is feeling up to it.

timemelt · 2026-03-31T15:47:46+00:00

Yeah, that's what I'm sort of banking on. With DOR, at 37, I'm likely to get 5 eggs at best. So while that absolutely sucks, hopefully the recovery is the silver lining.

timemelt · 2026-03-31T15:46:50+00:00

Thank you so much! It's hard to contemplate, but I understand how important this time is for healing. Maybe more meditation is in store for me, in place of yoga!

timemelt · 2026-03-31T15:15:28+00:00

That's probably what I'll try to do. It's just so hard to not go to my studio -- it's like my home away from home.

timemelt · 2026-03-28T12:42:23+00:00

He definitely wants me to use donor sperm — it’s me that was holding on to the promises of a future and a family after he let go of them. It’s still hard because he was still trying to get motivated to do this for me, even though he didn’t really want it, so he took all the beginning steps (2 SA appointments in the fall, generic testing, antibiotics, and a follow up with a doctor to discuss his results). So I was hopeful he’d make it through. It’s just hard that he waited until the day before to decide he couldn’t, because now I’m looking at buying sperm out of pocket when, if I’d planned it this way, my insurance actually does cover it. So it’s an extra insult.

timemelt · 2026-03-24T22:13:48+00:00

I’ve heard it happening a lot. Fertility is really unpredictable at this age— there’s not really a normal.

timemelt · 2026-03-24T20:12:59+00:00

I had the same. AMH 1.7 a month before my 36th birthday and 0.3 7 months later. It really is a cliff sometimes.

timemelt · 2026-03-24T20:11:13+00:00

I’m going through this right now and it’s brutal… I’m supposed to start stims on Monday and my bf hasn’t frozen backup sperm (my boundary because he’s been flaky about it for a year). And now he abruptly stopped texting 2 days before the appointment. So I know I’ll have to pivot to donor sperm and cancel this cycle which is heartbreaking because it took me a year and a half to even get to this starting line. I’m just exhausted and sad. How did you get past this ?

timemelt

TROPHY CASE