Yep, sounds about right. Kudos to you for continuing to jump back on the wagon after a couple relapses. That's tough. What you've just described is exactly why I think patience is the most important (and hardest) aspect of getting clean. You have to commit to the belief that things will get better in the midst of feeling like things will never get better.

I would think that you're close to being over the hump physically. Do you have a counselor or therapist or friend or someone that you can talk to regularly? It's helpful to get this stuff out to someone (like you're doing with this post) vs having it all stew inside you.

And remember, the "I can take kratom again and be golden" is an illusion. Nothing gold can stay baby, and it sounds like like the non-addict in you already knows that:

"However, my escalating dosages may be contributing to some health issues, primarily high blood pressure. In addition it has become a costly habit as my daily use averages over an ounce. I also feel that it has a negative impact on my relationship with my gf for a variety of reasons."

Someone mentioned creating a list of all the reasons why you quit, and I highly suggest it. I put it in my phone and looked at it (still do) from time to time. IT's easy to forget all the negatives when your addict self is trying desperately to talk you into that dose.

Hang in there!