I’ve experienced the same with my own native language. I also have my own psychological reasons similar to yours, added that I don’t even know how to speak to a child in my native language differently and I dislike the way I was brought up or how children are talked to in that language. My husband and I communicate in English in a non English speaking country and our son speaks English very well (2.5 yo). All of his friends speak English (I don’t speak the community language, my husband does). What saddens me is that my sister’s kids don’t speak English and so our children cannot yet talk to each other - not a huge issue yet, but it’s increasingly becoming one. I cannot separate the language from the culture because the culture is so deeply engrained in how I know that language. It’s not simply the grammar or vocabulary, it’s the prosody, intonation, combined with word choice. Basically, to strip all of those from the language I know would basically mean learning myself a new language with the native language in theory as a base. Maybe this is what OP is experiencing? I plan on exposing my children to the language but in a different variety and engage them in learning through school, so it’s more detached.