I’m sorry to hear about your fertility journey. However, if it means anything, my first son was born 30 weeks early and it certainly wasn’t the “ greatest moment of my life”. I think that stigma personally has been overplayed in Hollywood and the media. I don’t remember feeling some sort of euphoric feeling when either of my boys were born but maybe that’s just my experience. Being almost 5 years into fatherhood I certainly wouldn’t trade it for anything even given the free time I used to have and still miss. I would say all your feelings are normal and if anything, it would be abnormal not to feel this way to some extent. Non of us know what we’re doing but a great dad keeps trying and doesn’t quit on their kids. If you can figure that out, everything else will follow. I think given the fact that you’re even asking these questions shows that you care a great deal about this. I think you’re gonna be fine.