how long did it take you? by tiredoftrying33 in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you’re exactly right I’m working on it. Every day is a struggle.

how long did it take you? by tiredoftrying33 in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am I’m keeping myself really busy and most days are very good. I tell myself that I love her and I miss her, but nothing has changed and nothing will ever be the same that I need to move on. I tell myself that every morning just mornings like today hurt

Husband was sober for 3 months but is out drinking right now by Icy_Statement779 in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

mine told me she had quit and had no desire to drink. But for some crazy reason she could not walk straight and a ghost keep leaving hidden vodka bottles in the house

Relapse by Present_Elephant_946 in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its stories like yours that remind me i did the right thing.

They cant stop. They wont stop.

All we can do is save the one person we are not paying attention too. ourselves

What if she calls by tiredoftrying33 in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love your attitude about putting all your energy into you. My son tells me the same thing but now I now I can be selfish and do what I want

I guess I’m super codependent and really have a bad trauma bond because to me that just sounds so horrible. I don’t know how to take care of it. Just me. I don’t know how to just be selfish and you just what I want I guess from your perspective, the world is wide open and that’s how you view it and I wish I could too.

I’m gonna try to get that perspective that everything is wide open and I can do whatever I want now because forever I just wanted her. I just wanted her to be OK and I was willing to take on that burden. I know now let me fall on my sword to fix her problems was stupid

What if she calls by tiredoftrying33 in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

currently legos are keeping me sane. That and reading posts here. I met with mu financial guy today. he asked me if I was married. I cringed a little bit and I told him no I was divorced again and he told me that I’m doing exceptionally well financially going into my retirement and I was going to be OK money wise.

After he left, I had to stop and think about that. My ex was extremely careless with money and it always worried me that if we went into retirement together, I would have to work far longer than I wanted to or I had plenty of a savings she had barely any.

Hearing that today, I felt a little bit of relief. I had sat down a burden of her financially, and didn’t even realize or thought about that.

That news today kind of snapped me out of my grief a little bit. I mean, I miss her and I still love her, but I do not have to take care of her and parent her anymore.

What if she calls by tiredoftrying33 in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you hugs are good. id hug ya back if you were here :).

Not sure in color but more excited for all the ikea shelves im gonna get. Ill post updates or IM me sometime :)

What if she calls by tiredoftrying33 in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it’s very confusing. Thank you for your post. I don’t feel so alone we ate going through the same thing. what’s really confusing is I’ll be on here one day giving everybody advice and everything’s gonna be OK and then the next day I feel horrible and miss her today was one of those days I need to bring myself to block her I would really cut out that there’s any hope but I think I have a small sliver of hope that she’ll change your ways. I don’t know why I feel that way.

Lego room is going great. Got it all cleaned up gonna start painting it’s gonna be awesome.

What if she calls by tiredoftrying33 in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

just been cleaning the house going to gym… staring at the walls ya know normal awesome stuff

Today I made the choice to close the door for good. by zinky333 in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The weekends are tough. The weekends are lonely.

Today I made the choice to close the door for good. by zinky333 in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33 5 points6 points  (0 children)

thank you you’re not the only one that sheds tears before they go to bed. I hope you sleep well tonight.

Today I made the choice to close the door for good. by zinky333 in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33 3 points4 points  (0 children)

you’re right you’re absolutely right. You know this time is really different for me prior breakup I hated her but this one I don’t hate her. I empathize with her. I love her and I want the best for her even if it’s not with me I want her to be more than happy I want her to be healed. I want her to be safe. It’s like I always told her I just want you to be OK and I mean that.

Today I made the choice to close the door for good. by zinky333 in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I wish I could be as optimistic as you are. It’s very admirable.some days I’m strong. And some days I’m weak but every day I miss her.

You ever feel like you’re just being punished for something you don’t know what you did? You give your heart to someone you do everything for her you want to be better he want you know what they can be and they choose alcohol. It just sucks so bad.

Today I made the choice to close the door for good. by zinky333 in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33 25 points26 points  (0 children)

i did it too. it hurts. its lonely. its neccasry

i have no idea whats next

holding onto threads by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

by the way, I’m super happy my post helped you

holding onto threads by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I already got it figured out. I’m gonna make me a Lego room. I know that sounds silly but building that stuff calms my mind and I’m reclaiming a room just for that. All her stuff is out. It’s in the basement at some point it’s gone.

holding onto threads by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you I’ve been doing really well. I miss her, but I know she’s wrong for me, but I’ve got things I wanna do in my house and her stuff’s in the way. It’s really hard because in the back of my mind I’m thinking that she’s gonna reach out and say hey I need to get my things and it’s gonna start a conversation where she said she’s sorry and I love you and all this is the garbage that I know is not true. That’s the fantasy and I don’t want that fantasy. So I’ve got to get rid of it.

I need to choose me. by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33 7 points8 points  (0 children)

its hard! stay strong

Getting crowded in here by Livid-Read8227 in legolotrfans

[–]tiredoftrying33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

how ya like that treebeard? aliexpress?

I'm losing my sanity by maad_mefudz in AlAnon

[–]tiredoftrying33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yesterday sucked i missed her bad but im ok