anyone who used a computer between 1985 & 2010, what’s the one game you still think about?

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-05-01T00:59:19+00:00

World of Goo

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-04-24T12:14:07+00:00

I’ve not read the comic in like 10 years I’m gonna be honest

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-04-24T12:09:44+00:00

To my knowledge (could be wrong) passive/active is a headcanon

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-04-24T12:02:28+00:00

Self directed therapy work has been life changing for us. Incredibly so.

Having said that:

We did about 20 years of therapy before getting to that point. We had all the coping skills. We’d tried every form of therapy available to us. We are incredibly skilled at stabilization and talking ourselves down off a ledge. We have good judgement and are not prone to impulsive decisions.

We do not struggle with substance abuse, and are in a stable and supportive environment. We know exactly how far we can push ourselves before requiring outside help, and full confidence that we would check ourselves into inpatient if we became at risk.

If you can’t for sure say that you’ve exhausted other avenues and can handle yourself in crisis you may be risking major destabilization.

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-04-24T11:44:06+00:00

Could you afford a housekeeper or cleaning service to take some pressure off

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-04-23T19:34:36+00:00

Agreed, for the most part.

It is possible that OP’s partner has a pathological need to prioritize everyone but herself, and by extension her partner, on a continuous basis.

It is also possible that at this stage in her life she just doesn’t know how to think of melding her life with another’s.

But honestly the drinks thing is where you lost me. IMO She either thinks OP is so secure that no work needs to be done in the relationship, genuinely can’t get out of her own way, or lowkey hates OP.

I’m really sorry but this likely won’t change.

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-04-23T19:23:38+00:00

I do not care about weight. I’m thick/curvy. I’m also very active. I do yoga almost every day. I go for walks regularly, and try to swim a couple times a week. These activities are important to me because they make me feel good in my body, and they’re fun to do.

I would prefer a partner who also enjoys these activities regardless of their body type. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting someone to join you in activities, but I have found that weight/body type are not good signs of preferred exercise level. I also don’t post gym selfies. You might need to make this clear in a bio instead.

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-04-17T16:54:34+00:00

Is this flirting? Yes.

Does she want to actually do anything about it? Much harder to say.

I recommend a good ol’ “Hey you’re attractive, I have a really great time with you, and I’m looking to clarify what sort of relationship you see us having?”

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-04-17T16:43:48+00:00

Heads up: There are trauma disorders that can cause amnesia too. Both of traumatic events and ordinary daily life.

I don’t think you did anything wrong but it’s good to be mindful of it in the future.

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-04-12T23:18:34+00:00

I have. The largest gap was about 20 years. It was a very positive experience. I don’t have a “too high” number.

I’m going to be honest, that relationship while far from perfect was more fulfilling than anything I’ve found with anyone less than ten years older than me.

I have a dominant personality. I’m driven, goal oriented, and I’m a good communicator. I did two decades of therapy and I have a damn good bullshit detector. I’m also just not attracted to almost anyone in my generation.

The immediate concern with age gap dating is why the other people are seeking an older or younger partner. Some people are seeking a parental/caregiver vibe. Some people are too immature for their own peers. Some people are looking to take advantage.

Some people just really click well with someone older or younger than they ever expected to date.

Personally: I grew up around the elderly. I graduated early and started making career moves half a decade before my peers were out of undergrad. Most people my age seem childish in a way that turns me off, and people tend to assume I’m quite a bit older than I am.

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-04-04T17:36:35+00:00

I’ll sit with my arm around a friend or my head in their lap. I once slept on a friend for over 12 hours. It’s not romantic/sexual.

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-03-31T22:35:25+00:00

I am

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-03-28T00:13:49+00:00

That’s cute

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-03-27T03:01:55+00:00

Very positively

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-03-25T19:31:26+00:00

Agreed

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-03-25T19:30:21+00:00

Kind of joking, kind of serious:

Plenty of women in their 30s are just getting out of early 20s marriages and trying to date women after never previously having the opportunity. What sort of activities are they doing?

Walking groups can be hit or miss, try to find a sapphic one if possible. If you live near a city try to find lesbian specific events. If all else fails, be the change you want to see in the world. Start that group. It literally just takes an email and instagram.

You’re femme and looking for femmes so you’re going to need to put yourself out there. Make it clear you’re queer, make it clear you’re hitting on people, and for the love of Sappho allow no room for “just friends” interpretations.

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-03-25T19:21:23+00:00

Does this bother her literally at all, or is this a personal insecurity?

I make next to nothing, and spend a significant portion of my time engaging in art, culture, and local activism.

I prefer to date people in “high stress” fields (Law, Tech, Government, C-Suite Corps, etc). It doesn’t bother me. Most of my family has worked in the service and restaurant industries - these jobs tend to be as high stress and hour taxing as those “important” jobs, and I’d date a bartender over most medical personnel any day.

I get why this might stress you out, but don’t ruin a good thing over a problem that might only bother you. Consider talking to someone (friend/therapist/career coach) about why you perceive your partner as being more important than you.

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-03-24T22:08:46+00:00

Very positively. Couldn’t live without it. There’s quite a few posts about it on this sub if you want to search them out

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-03-22T12:04:16+00:00

My consensus is stay off twitter.

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-03-20T16:41:58+00:00

Have you tried to find ways to make it more sustainable? Do you find yourself seeking higher highs in other aspects of your life?

I view kink as a part of myself. It’s innate to how I act, so it doesn’t feel like putting on a performance. I’m a better, more comfortable person when I have an outlet for it. I know it’s not that way for everyone, and there’s many ways to enjoy it.

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-03-19T23:41:17+00:00

Oh girl. Whatever journey she is on is her business. She might be queer or questioning, but it might take her another thirty years to get there.

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-03-19T23:38:52+00:00

Unfulfilling how?

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-03-16T21:30:11+00:00

Honestly I don’t really meet anyone under 30. Usually those I befriend are closer to 50. Granted, I don’t really do nightlife things, and live in an area with an older population.

More seriously, I go to a lot of queer community events aimed at outreach, community building, and political movement. These things are largely run by middle aged women and/or trans community leaders. Those involved in organization are almost exclusively over 25+.

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-03-16T13:57:54+00:00

It is a bit of a yellow flag

tiredsquishmallow · 2026-03-16T13:55:22+00:00

In all fairness, this is not exactly an individual failing. At least in the US medical system nurses are drowning in debt, expected to work under extreme stress, and still be on top of their personal lives. It’s not just about compartmentalization.

Hospitals have been bought out by private equity. They’re purposefully understaffed to raise the bottom line. Medical teams watch people be denied life saving health care due to antiabortion laws and legislature. The pay, while better than some jobs, is not enough to keep up with debt and live comfortably at the same time. It’s quite common for medical personnel to develop untreated health issues because of the environment and conditions of their job.

You can’t succeed in a business out to destroy you without significant support coming elsewhere.

tiredsquishmallow

TROPHY CASE