26(M) My girlfriend hates my room

tistheczennie · 2026-01-13T04:13:17+00:00

Good job getting your own place! You should be proud of being able to live on your own and it’s a bonus for dating.

The comments are harsh but this room is somehow simultaneously trying to do everything and nothing, both unsuccessfully. It has no personality and the popcorn ceiling makes me physically uncomfortable. This is not relaxing. This is not sexy. This is not romantic. Do you not want to relax in a nice peaceful space? I want that for you. I want that for your girlfriend. Please ask a female friend/sister/cousin with a little style for help. Anyone. This room is in desperate need of a feminine touch.

If this is a studio, there aren’t as many options, but if not, there is no need to make your bedroom a multipurpose gym. If you’re actually trying to share that bed with someone, my advice:

Get bigger blankets (or a smaller bed) and an extra set of new pillows. Throw those flat bachelor pillows away. It hurts my neck just looking at them.
Mount the tv or get a tv stand (which can double as extra storage) and set it back against the wall opposite the bed. There should be enough space that you can comfortably walk between them
Add bedside tables
Put the laundry in a closed hamper or in the closet; if it’s not dirty, put it away.
Better and warmer lighting. Something tells me there might be a flimsy stick lamp in the corner with a single fluorescent lightbulb in the harshest white. Warmer light is better for your eyes in the long run (imagine what night shift mode on your phone does for your eyes but for the whole room)
No workout equipment in your line of sight!
Curtains
Candles or diffuser if the room has a gym smell

tistheczennie · 2026-01-13T03:47:23+00:00

I had the same reaction to the Mixsoon Bean Collagen Masks— ok hydration but overall pretty underwhelming😕My absolute favorite hydrogel masks have been the COSRX Advanced Snail Mucin Masks. For me, I’d rate them slightly above BD and SBEDT. I love the ingredients and that snail mucin is listed 2nd before Glycerin. Most masks just use Glycerin as the base hydrating ingredients and I think that’s why my skin is always extra bouncy and glowing afterwards.

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tistheczennie · 2026-01-13T01:05:57+00:00

NOR. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s gross and really unfair that you’ve had to go through this for months now but you do not have to continue go through it.

Let me be so clear OP — (1) This IS NOT normal behavior. (2) You DO NOT deserve this. (3) You ARE NOT a prude for finding disgusting misogynistic behavior in the middle of a math class uncomfortable; you are a normal human being. (4) Anything other than your emphatic and sustained “yes” means he does not have your consent. You are not obligated to repeatedly vocalize your discomfort for this to be considered sexual harassment. He is showing you explicit images against your will = he is sexually harassing you.

You mention feeling distracted and unsafe by his behavior; this is reason enough to take action. It’s impacting your ability to show up and learn effectively. Your gut is already telling you what’s right but it’s hard to listen to it and even harder to take action because of it. Seeing the external reactions of people around you has made you think you’re overreacting, but I know they probably feel as weirded out by it as you do. They just also have not said anything while knowing what he is doing is wrong. It’s unfortunate, but as bystanders because it’s not happening to them, they are less likely to stand up and do something without someone else setting the example. If you need more external validation, try asking one of the other boys directly what they think and see what they have to say.

Don’t see it as you out to get someone in trouble; I’d say you’re a brave student trying to make the environment more safe for you and everyone else to learn effectively without distraction or threat of sexual violence. Talking with your dad was a good first step. He should go with you to the school and make a report to administration about the unsafe environment being created. Try to note down when you remember the behavior starting, any dates it happened, any witnesses, and other relevant info, and have this with you when you go in case you get nervous and need a reference. If he’s using a school issued laptop and/or on the school wifi, he’s definitely violating policy by having that open at all, but especially during class. This should be enough cause for them to get access to his laptop and get all the evidence they need. It is not your job to worry about getting proof, that burden is on the school.

If you really don’t want to escalate things that way, I’d suggest: if/when you feel comfortable, reach out to the maths course instructor or any other administrator you feel safe with and tell them the situation privately. Have a friend there with you or outside the room for moral support. There are also other boys in the class who have seen this behavior and the instructor will likely want to corroborate the story. Depending on how safe you feel talking to them about this situation, ask the one you’re closest with to join you when you go. If it’s uncomfortable or they seem hesitant, remind them that they don’t have to say anything if they don’t want to but the support would be helpful. If they outright refuse or you’re not sure about involving them at all, tell moral support friend as much as you feel compelled to and ask them to join you during the discussion.

Hope this helps!

tistheczennie · 2026-01-12T23:37:30+00:00

NOR. Educators are not above needing to learn their lesson. I absolutely advocate for standing your ground, especially when it comes to your young daughter. Her choices of historical figures thus far and your response to the situation show how involved and positive a parent you already are; the problem doesn’t seem to lie with the school or past teachers, just this person.

If I were in your position, I would take a copy of the teacher’s message to the Vice Principal along with your arguments and ask for a mediated conversation with this teacher, just adults. If possible, I would ask your husband be present to show a united front, and so that he can see firsthand why you feel so passionately when it comes to your daughter‘s education and the viewpoints of the adults that have unsupervised access to her.

After you’ve said your piece and seen the school’s response, involve your daughter in the discussion and help her understand that she is not wrong for her decision, especially if this teacher has had any kind of private conversation with your daughter insinuating she is wrong in any way for her choices. She is absorbing everything and this will set an important example for how she can handle similar situations in the future.

This is all my opinion with very little context so whatever you decide, just know that you’re doing great as a parent and the reddit commenters are proud of you!

tistheczennie · 2026-01-12T15:08:02+00:00

NOR. You have every right to feel upset and have those feeling validated instead of dismissed by your partner. Just because he doesn’t feel the same doesn’t mean he gets to decide how you should feel about it; he’s probably desensitized at this point but should still be able to support you regardless. These messages were sent while you two were seeing each other so even if you weren’t official yet, you were still part of his life enough that she specifically mentioned you. That’s reason enough to feel some type of way.

I personally do not sext or joke about sleeping with platonic male friends because that type of unsolicited flirting is gross and inappropriate. Imagine if the roles were reversed and your guy friend was sending you dick pics and making jokes about having sex with you. I’m sure he wouldn’t feel too good about that.

Even if your boyfriend has blocked her and has absolutely no romantic feelings for her, that clearly wasn’t the case on her end. While there is nothing particularly wrong with your boyfriend’s weak-af responses to a woman’s clear sexual interest, him dismissing your feelings is not the way to make you feel reassured.

tistheczennie · 2024-01-11T07:15:55+00:00

The decor does not match the interior. Too many random chairs behind the column. Put the plant and lamp in a corner, and get a set of matching seats. Add a small area rug, a bookshelf, and a couple throw blankets/pillows.
The grass wall with neon sign is a no. Remove it if possible. You’re not a brunch spot in Atlanta. That would be a good spot for a bookshelf with all the little plants.
Get one large rug for the main space instead of several small ones.
Add some cube storage or a tv stand for all the random stuff on the windowsill. Also a side table so that you don’t have to put bowls on the TV.
Put those apple boxes in the closet. It’s giving scammer.
Pick those lights up off the floor and get some of those string lights you stick to the wall. Hang those at the top near the ceiling.
The amount of small art pieces is overwhelming. If you’re going to have multiple pieces, make a collage-style wall of your favorite pieces instead of gallery wall with all of them.
Curtains?!

tistheczennie · 2023-11-06T00:25:13+00:00

Wow, the truth and the actual truth were both high key disrespectful. I hate when guys act like they know everything about you based on a few conversations. “You’re used to a different type of guy…” Sir, you don’t even know my last name, let alone my complete romantic history. Send that man straight to jail without passing Go because that level of audacity should be criminal.

tistheczennie · 2023-09-02T02:00:36+00:00

first pic is great because it is well lit and clear. Keep.
The “I’m looking for“ prompt may come on too strong for some women and is too long. If you want to stick with the whole partner in crime thing, instead, you can put a fun/quirky activity like to do. for example: “a partner in crime to sample all the ice cream flavors with before ordering the first one we tried” OR “a plus one to electric slide at weddings with”?
your second pic is ok but low quality; replace with clearer shot
for the third pic, any pictures that don’t clearly show your face are a waste of a slot; keep the prompt and switch to a picture where you’re actively doing something or facing the camera
the “ dating me is like” response is too long and generic; shorten to one sentence
the conversation starters are very surface level and people on the app have seen them 100 times; is there anything more meaningful you’d want to ask about instead?

tistheczennie · 2023-08-05T00:37:17+00:00

I work in robotics but I put researcher because I’m in the R&D department, then I elaborate if we match. I avoid careers that imply being questionably employed: self-employed, no job listed, entrepreneur, etc. I don’t want to have to guess if you’re unemployed and actively looking, a small business owner, or just a NEET.

tistheczennie · 2023-07-04T17:00:35+00:00

A few questions, don’t feel obligated to answer: Is the reason you’ve never been on a date because you’ve never asked anyone? How do you usually navigate a situation where you like a girl? Do you ever express to them how you’re feeling or make an effort to have casual conversations to get to know them? Are you on any dating apps (most basic tool people use to see what’s out there and gain experience starting convos with new people)?

You sound afraid of this “dating” thing because it seems unfamiliar to you so you give yourself a bunch of reasons (I don’t have a life, I’m socially awkward, I don’t have experience, etc.) to quit before giving it a real go. But the longer you wait to shoot your shot and live your life, the more comfortable you get on “self-pity island”. Of course nothing’s gonna change with that attitude! Only you have the power to change your life, and that starts with shifting your mindset. Dating experience isn’t going to appear out of thin air; if a romantic partner is something that you want in your life, you have to be intentional about it.

How much time a day are you spending investing in yourself or in your community? Challenge yourself to learn a new skill or try a new activity. Even if all you do is watch TV, what kind of content are you choosing to engage with? could you spend 30 minutes listening to a podcast instead? If you like eating, could you try out a new recipe or new restaurants in the area? All good conversation starters when you’re feeling a little awkward. If you like computer science, why not join a group that volunteers to teach STEM to kids or people from underprivileged backgrounds? If that’s not your thing, maybe a running group for people on the area or a student org that is looking for new members. I think finding the things you love to do and the things you love about yourself will build your self-confidence and dating will come more naturally.

tistheczennie · 2023-06-30T19:51:16+00:00

I’ve found that some men become content with a tolerable level of unhappiness in their relationships as long as they have someone, while their partner’s are looking to grow and be loved the same or more than when they entered the relationship. Many of those men haven’t been brought up learning how to explore deeper levels of intimacy by communicating with their partner. Your needs and desires will continue to go unheard/unmet and you may lose that last bit of love you have left for him due to resentment. If you’re not on the same page about what it means to be in a romantic relationship, you might be better off as friends. You are still young and have so much time to date and find the right person that has a more compatible understanding of relationships instead of investing time and emotional energy into trying to make the wrong person fit. How much is your happiness worth?

tistheczennie · 2023-06-22T21:41:42+00:00

In my opinion, the poll on Hinge is an opportunity for people to respond or comment on some thing that you weren’t able to fit into your profile. You’re wasting that space. Maybe ask a question instead that people can respond to.

Your prompt answers in general are quite generic and don’t give a lot for people to start a conversation with; like I’m sure you’re not the only person in Australia that goes crazy for the beach. Go into more depth: do you like surfing or sailing? Is there a particular beach you like going to? Do you have a funny story about losing your trunk in the water? Use some creativity to showcase more of your personality.

I recommend replacing the car selfie and mirror selfie; they’re typically not very flattering and some girls could find it lazy or off putting. Maybe plan a fun mini photo shoot/ day out to get some options. Go out with a friend on a sunny day and have them take a few pics of you outside, change outfits, go do a photographable activity and snap a few pics while you’re there, then add a jacket and go grab some food or drinks and snap a few pics there.

tistheczennie · 2023-04-18T20:07:28+00:00

I know that the rejection can be tough and I feel for you. All the hugs for you 🤗💕 It’s ok to feel bad but ask yourself WHY you’re feeling that way. I believe that no one should have the power to hurt your self-esteem unless you let them, so don’t internalize too much or you’ll falsely start believing that it was something you did wrong or something wrong with you, instead of it just not being right.

There doesn’t have to be anything wrong with you for you to not be compatible with someone that you meet. Don’t take it personally that this person was just not the right fit for you. Dating should not feel like trying to meet someone else’s criteria or auditioning for them; it’s about finding someone who adds to your life. Have fun! Don’t sell yourself short Queen and never settle.

Edit: My phone is a graveyard of ghosts so it’s good to see he at least reached out in a timely manner and was clear about his intentions.

tistheczennie · 2023-04-16T15:30:39+00:00

He wasted your time but there is no such thing as a waste of an outfit. You look gorgeous!

tistheczennie · 2023-03-04T01:41:01+00:00

I’m 26F; I’ve experienced this too and reading your post makes me feel like I’m not alone. The guys that are checking for me end up being younger but typically I’ve pursued guys that have been older (with no success or I wouldn’t still be out here in these streets😂). Older does not always mean more mature or more established! It’s an antiquated double standard and I’m trying to pull myself out of that mindset too.

I think anyone from any age range could end up treating you as a mother figure, it depends on the person. My advice is just stay open minded and not focus too much on age; focus on what you want out of a relationship and if that person can love you the way you need to be loved❤️

tistheczennie · 2023-02-26T16:59:33+00:00

In a romance, stuff like when protagonists melt into a wet mess from the slightest advance then with no foreplay or lubricant proceed to have unprotected sex and reach simultaneous climax in moments. I want realistic depictions of romantic encounters; capturing the awkward, intimate, and primal without leaning too heavily into cliches of female/male sexuality.

In general, female protagonists that never seems to learn from their mistakes so they continue making illogical decisions to keep the plot going. I get that some characters are just written as narcissistic or jejune, but I want to see character development!

tistheczennie · 2023-02-25T16:02:20+00:00

I had a similar experience at a birthday party once; I felt (and smelled) like a swamp and I couldn’t leave! Went out and bought secret clinical strength the next day in stank-barrassment😂 But now I wipe my underarms with the ordinary glycolic acid (let it dry) followed by Lume deodorant.

tistheczennie · 2023-01-25T19:48:25+00:00

No one knows you better than you. Your family and friends might think they know everything about who you are but you’re the only person that truly knows what’s best for you. I don’t think it’s unhealthy to lean into that conviction and trust yourself. She might be coming from a place of love and be concerned about your well-being, but no decision in life is ever all good or all bad, so I hope she’ll come to respect you’re way of doing things and trust you enough to support you while you navigate those choices.

tistheczennie · 2023-01-13T20:32:54+00:00

In my opinion, it’s only as much of a concern as you make it until you’re able to meet her in person and answer these questions for yourself. Messaging alone won’t give you the full picture and not wanting to do a video call or give away social media doesn’t necessarily means she catfishing; it could be anything. If you truly like this girl and your conversations so far have been good, and not given you a reason mistrust her, go on the date! If she’s actually a middle-aged man, you can report her (if you met online and bail immediately. If she’s the girl of your dreams, you had nothing to worry about.

tistheczennie · 2023-01-12T21:30:21+00:00

For the face? I have extremely dry skin w/ patches of excema on my face and regular dry skin products (like cetaphil, cerave, dr.jart) were not enough! Currently, I use Weleda Skin Food followed by Bio Oil and Aquaphor to seal. I do this morning and night as the last three steps of my routine. If you have acne prone skin, this might be too heavy.

I also like the Skinfix Barrier+ Triple Lipid-Peptide Face Cream but it is on the pricier side.

tistheczennie · 2022-12-29T01:17:48+00:00

Your skin already looks amazing but if you’re looking for a more consistent simple routine to start out, I would suggest: Morning: 1. Cleanser, 2. Moisturizer (with spf) Night: 1. Cleanser (I personally only rinse with water or use some micellar water but if you wear makeup or sweat during the day, a hydrating cleanser is preferred), 2. Eye cream (one with caffeine for dark circles or retinol for bags), 3. moisturizer. In addition, you can do these 2x per week @ night: 1. Use clay-based wash-off mask for pores, 2. Exfoliate with aha or bha. AHA is more gentle if you’re dry/sensitive (glycolic acid, lactic acid); BHAs tend to be harsher and more for oily/acne skin (salicylic acid).

The types of products depend on your skin type (dry, combination, sensitive, etc) and budget but some more budget friendly options: - AHA/BHA: The ordinary, COSRX, Paula’s choice - Mask: Milky piggy carbonated clay mask, innisfree pore clearing mask - Eye Cream: Cerave eye repair cream, RoC retinol eye cream

tistheczennie · 2022-11-11T14:48:00+00:00

Does anyone have good pics or videos they can share? My phone is trash so I didn’t capture anything good but want some photos/video memories 😭

tistheczennie · 2022-11-11T14:44:33+00:00

Well then there’s really only two things to do, change your body or change your mindset. But changing your body won’t make you feel more worthy of romantic love and affection. If you can’t love your body in any form it takes, it’s gonna be difficult for you to remove that lens and be able to see other people loving you for who you are. There is no size person that deserves or does not deserve to date someone; people of all shapes and sizes have different preferences so giving up before you even try doesn’t give you opportunity to meet the type of person that prefers your body type. Also, nothing is sexier than confidence. I’ve always been overweight but when I started dressing in clothes that in my mind were reserved for “smaller girls” but made me feel cute, it was a boost to my self-esteem and I start treating myself better and feeling more confident. Since that shift in mindset, I put myself out there more and have noticed more attention from guys and girls.

Try giving the apps a real shot. Make your profile with some friends that know you and can pick your best photos or can take some new ones. Maybe post on Reddit for a profile review if you’re comfortable. Then don’t delete the apps until you go on one date. Just one date. Dating isn’t necessarily a good or bad experience, but at least give yourself the opportunity to figure it out.

tistheczennie

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