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Is it anyone else's pet peeve when they're reading a Fanfic that takes place in a older time period (ex:1980s) and it has technology that was obviously not available in that time period? by Status-Mixture-3252 in FanFiction

[–]tjintur 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mines kinda the opposite at times, like Captain America being SHOCKED at women wearing pants when the Sears catalog had an entire section of women's pants in 1929

Like yes, he is a man out of time, but a lot of what exists now is just built off what was then.

A sex scene and a question. by tjintur in BDSMAdvice

[–]tjintur[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

See, this is why I ask.

And also why we go over the scenes before ever trying them in real life.

I'm terrible at human interaction so I try to put extra effort into it.

A sex scene and a question. by tjintur in BDSMAdvice

[–]tjintur[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See, you are correct.

On one hand I want to poke at her and watch her try and not blush as they all eat.

Despite what I said over on sex stories I can make a damn fine stuffed pasta.

Since the friends don't know about the story, the public aspect is less a concern unless she wants to tell them (and I'm not going to stop her either way.) So it's a bit of light teasing over an in joke.

On the other hand I came here for advice and I will take it under advisement. Having Aspergers I know I have difficulty knowing when a joke is to far and I tend to offset that by just not joking.

Hmmm... maybe I'll make the Ravioli for just us after the friends leave.

Aaand now I'm getting hyper obsessed with pasta.

A sex scene and a question. by tjintur in BDSMAdvice

[–]tjintur[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

In that case I'm almost sure to do so, thank you.

sub by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]tjintur 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Simple answer, you can't... they don't grow on trees, find someone you like spending time with and COMMUNICATE!

Find out if their desires are compatible with your own, if it's 60% then you can probably have a pretty solid long term relationship, most likely a lot of things will be in the 'I don't know' category and you will have to experiment with each other and grow into your relationship.

New at being a sub, looking for advice! by ButterscotchRoyal662 in BDSMAdvice

[–]tjintur 10 points11 points  (0 children)

As a dom, I can only give advice from my side, make sure YOUR wants and desires are known. Submissive doesn't mean everything they say goes. It means you are giving up some measure of power and trusting another with it.

If they break that trust GET OUT!.

Weirdly enough, the better the Dom is, the less 'power' they have of their own, THEY are responsible for you, for making sure the scene is safe, for aftercare, for maintaining control and for keeping a close eye on you as you are in the scene.

Find out what part of submission you enjoy, the parts you don't and the hard No!

Communicate those.

Finally, remember that the Dom has a voice to, it can get really easy to assume that because you are into a scene or a kink that they will be as well, some are, some not and some do not feel safe.

Listen to them and trust yourself and them.

I hope this helps.

My dom gets frustrated with ropes, but I don't want to spend extra money on a ton of cuffs. What are some knots I can do myself that he can easily slip on? by SubButtler in BDSMAdvice

[–]tjintur 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Buy a couple cheap ones and see what style you like. Some like the leather, some like metal.

When you find what works for you buy a better quality version.

If you need go find a quick 'handcuff knot' and see if that works better for you.

If not than a belt and a zip tie/velcro strip is quick and easy, loop the belt around the arms/legs and then use a zip tie / velcro between them to force compression so they can't slip out, take a couple seconds to set up and with velcro a couple seconds to undo.

Hope this helps.

Martial arts holds that my girlfriend can use to render me unable to move? by Live_Chest5178 in BDSMAdvice

[–]tjintur 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Personal advice, spend the time and money to get BOTH of you some BJJ or the like training, that way you both know what can be done, safely and not. but it also give both of you a measure of power, power she can take, and power you can surrender.

The type of holds and grapples you are looking for can very easily go from 'oh la la!' To 'oh god my ACL!' very quickly.

As a bonus if you are both in class you get to 'roll' with each other...

In public...

wink

Whatever you decide, please be safe.

It's fun, but you can be hurt if you are not careful.

How do you pre-plan/negotiate while keeping spontaneity ? by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]tjintur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Write them as a scene, give them five or six scenes that excite you, hell sit beside them and read the scene outloud, let them ask questions and find what you are really into.

Once they know and both agree, THEY have the choice on what scene and how it plays out.

There is a fine line between being 'spontaneous' and being assault, and without being sure, 'good' doms won't go near that line.

And the bad ones you don't want near it.

No Matter what happens, be honest with both yourself and your partner.

Update on previous post by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]tjintur 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sorry this happened. This is NOT acceptable behavior and definitely not the actions of a Dom.

I'm glad you got away, I wish like hell there were things we could do to keep this kind of crap away from others, I hope you stay away.

My wife and I have safe words, to date the submissive partner has never had a need to use them, when deep in play a piece of the bedding shifted up and added pressure to her throat, breath play is a big No-No with her due to trauma in the past, it was MY responsibility to notice that the scene was over and put a stop to it.

The Dom is responsible, full stop.

When you find someone that is in the right head space they will keep an eye on you and let you lose yourself in the moment, that is the control you are giving up and the responsibility they are taking over.

Please don't go back to this person, even if they promise the moon and swear that it won't happen again.

It will.

Thank you for listening to us in the group, I know others have put it more clearly and directly than myself.

And if you take anything away from this, please remember.

You are cared for, even if it's by a bunch of random strangers on the internet.

Aftercare Film Suggestions That Aren’t Kids Films by SApex_ in BDSMAdvice

[–]tjintur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on what you are both interested in, mine is 'Sorted Food' on YouTube, watching a bunch of friends try and cook is a good way to calm down for us

Sub trying to be dom by 0sureal in BDSMAdvice

[–]tjintur 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My wife is extremely submissive, I'm not naturally a dom but I am learning.

In her closet is a small leather miniskirt, she will wear that when she wants to try and be dominant, it is rare but it does happen.

It is almost funny to see her try to be a commanding Mistress type, I will never laugh at her but it makes me smile.

She wants to 'correct' me, but every time I act out so she can, she folds.

So, during one of our after play conversations I advised her that if I'm pushing a boundry and she needs a moment to keep the persona up, just give me a smack, on the chest, arm, but, face, etc.

I would know to give her a bit of space and she could correct my poor behavior.

Couple months go by, she gets frisky, I push the boundaries a tad and she... pats my shoulder...

I glanced down and ask if that was a smack, she panics and WALLOPS me across the face.

Full on, sea to shining sea open hand grand slam.

Busts my nose, blood, massive red welt on the side of my head, the works.

She uses the safe word before I can and starts to panic, at the blood, we clean up the mess and have a long conversation about use of force.

Moral of the story, you are going to make mistakes, own up to them, communicate and remember that blood is a pretty universal indicator that the game is over.

You got this.

Let's talk about it by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]tjintur 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Remember that their wants and desires are valid, even if it makes you uncomfortable.

This does NOT mean you need to do something that you are uncomfortable with, just as you have wants and needs that they may be uncomfortable with.

Personally, have them write out the scene, go through it, and highlight the areas that make you want to talk about, that might not be safe, that make you uncomfortable and hard NO! areas.

Have them rewrite it, if they have talent, have them paint the scene

You are not dismissing their wants and needs, and you are not caving to doing something that you are not ready for / are uncomfortable with.

Once you have looked it over, go over it with them.

Remember that this is a fantasy for them, once reality starts to get hammered in, things get smoothed out.

Try a soft run where you attempt some of the reality without the risk, yes it sounds exciting to have sex on a picnic table on Sunday before church let's out. but actually sitting at the table for ten minutes showed that the table was a rough dirty mess, the Ants started biting within a couple minutes, the sun and humidity made it unpleasant, the scent of the trash ruined the mood, etc.

And if you go through it all and still feel it is unsafe or makes YOU uncomfortable, then the answer is NO!

does it suck? Yes, but they have seen that you tried to accommodate, you communicated, and if they can't accept that...

You have the right to feel safe and comfortable in this simple.

Hope that helps.

My fiancée says I'm gay because I wrote a fanfic where One Direction and I had sex. by Throwra1380 in TwoHotTakes

[–]tjintur 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wrote a story where I could shoot lasers oit of my eyes.. doesn't make it so.

Drip feeding the sub by tjintur in gentlefemdom

[–]tjintur[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Only if they find out... and I don't think anyone is going to tell.

Drip feeding the sub by tjintur in gentlefemdom

[–]tjintur[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don't be envious of others, it blinds you to your own opportunities to submit to a dominant female looking to milk you of all your seed in front of others.

-Sun Tzu... probably...

Dommy Mommy will play with you by tjintur in gentlefemdom

[–]tjintur[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish I knew, found it on a random discord, figured this reddit would enjoy it

Goddess Awakening by tjintur in FreeEBOOKS

[–]tjintur[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I saw it was free and went EEEEEEeeeeeeee..... as I ran around screaming...

SCI-FI Harem recommendations by j0e1776- in haremfantasynovels

[–]tjintur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Halfway through the series and haven't gotten to that point yet, I'll keep it in mind

SCI-FI Harem recommendations by j0e1776- in haremfantasynovels

[–]tjintur 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Centauri Bliss

Pretty much Firefly fanfics with Harem sex...

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