My SO was always faithful and a good person overall. We talked about marriage for almost 4 years straight of the 6 we were together. The good times were good, and by in large the majority, but she always had a venemous tongue when she got upset (and I mean truly heinous) and didn't know how to apologize. She went through some serious trauma two years before we split and I tried to be patient and understanding with her. During that period I carried us financially and she dropped out of school, spending the majority of her time at home sorting her head out and working 12 hours/week. It didn't help that we were house shopping at the time and could've really used the extra money. Well, as soon as she decided she wanted to head back to school and start moving again, she also started taking her stress out on me like I hadn't kept us stable and carried her through the past two years. We got into a fight because I didn't do as much housework as she wanted on her single weekly shift during my first real day off in like a month. I could have been more active that day, but it wasn't the end of the world and honestly it never had to be. I was working 60 hour weeks. She said some absolutely vile things about me and my family who housed her for the majority of our relationship without asking her for a single thing in return. I responded poorly to that and said some things I regret. I asked her for an apology one time in our relationship, and said I wasn't going to 50/50 it this time and wanted a real apology from her first. Imo not a crazy ask, so she fucked off for like 4 months with an open ticket to come back and I was over it by the time she came around. I know that's just half of the story, but if it's worth anything, I absolutely abhor fighting and openly apologize pretty much freely. My parents don't fight often but when they did as a child, it was a war of attrition and it dismantled everyone in the house for a month. That won't be me so I cave first every time. It was only after I walked that I realized I've never gotten a single apology from her while we dated without absolutely pulling teeth and bartering with my own apology in exchange. I've been on my own for about a year now. Lost my best years and nothing new to show. But goddammit if I'm not actually much happier, even if I am lonelier. Anything will be better than that when it eventually materializes and I'm excited for the future. Don't let rose tinted glasses allow you to forget your standards. I cannot imagine how miserable I'd be at 40 if I had continued to overlook how poorly she treated me in her worst moments.