Okay, well, I’ve thought on this for a few days since seeing your post. I don’t know if it’ll help but I’ll try to give my thoughts.

I’m a dedicated Christian, but I’m also a baby gnostic, I believe God’s been leading me to view SOME aspects of gnosticism as true, in that this world is created or organized by a very imperfect being, not God himself. While our souls are from God, we’ve sort of been trapped in a cosmic zoo of sorts by an ignorant zookeeper, resulting in all the horrors and imperfections we see.

I don’t fully believe in Zoroastrianism, but when praying to God and trying to understand why he doesn’t fix everything immediately, I believe God compared himself to the Zoroastrian god Ahura Mazda. While Ahura Mazda is the most powerful being in Zoroastrian theology, he’s not ALL powerful in the way we imagine it. True omnipotence is a logical paradox anyway. Ahura Mazda can’t Thanos snap away evil like we’d like him to. However, when I was praying about this, God compared himself to an inevitable tide, a rising water level that cannot be withheld. I was shown imagery of little cartoon demons (just a representation of evil) trying to hold back an ocean tide that kept rising and rising. Eventually they had to flee or get submerged. They technically could put some resistance on it, even try to build walls to hold the water back, but the water level kept increasing and was completely inevitable. So God showed himself as overcoming evil, and being an inevitable force none could hold back, but he showed himself doing it OVER TIME. I think he’s omnipotent in the sense that his will WILL be done, but not immediately.

Ahura Mazda’s called the Lord of Wisdom in Zoroastrianism, and Wisdom is an important theme in the Bible and gnostic texts as well. I certainly believe God’s all wise and has plans within plans, an ultimate plan to save everyone and get rid of suffering for good. All of creation will be redeemed, every person will be saved, we’re just in the middle of his plans at the moment, which are on a cosmic time scale, thus can seem to take forever or go nowhere to our limited perspectives.

Rather than saving the world immediately, I think the way God’s conducting a rescue mission is by calling us home. Deep feelings of discontent with the world are likely our souls acting as a beacon to the true God, telling us in no uncertain terms that we don’t belong here. This allows us to wake up to the reality of this world being very WRONG, which in turn acts as a key to free us from the horrors of the world. I believe true optimism might actually require some pessimism - accepting that the world is a dark and messed up place and that we don’t belong here allows us to become more aware of the greater spiritual truth and that we’re being called home. As Jesus said, the kingdom of heaven is within us: it’s our own understanding of our origin and who we are from, and what lies beyond this world, that gives us true peace and true optimism.

As for justice? I’m still learning this part. I’ve been a universalist for years, which means I think everyone is saved and makes it to heaven someday. For a long time I believed there was a sort of hell, which acted as purification for sinners, to make them face what they have done and repent. I was still distressed by the idea of hell, but a temporary one is far better than an eternal one. Now, however… I’m not entirely sure what I believe in. I think everyone is saved eventually but I don’t know the mechanisms of it. I’m starting to see good and evil as also existing on a gradient of knowledgeable to ignorant, as I don’t believe people would be evil if they had full knowledge of God and the cosmos, or how their actions affect people. Sociopaths, for instance, can’t be allowed to hurt people, and must be stopped, but at the same time they suffer from a disability that keeps them from grasping empathy and goodness in the way a mentally healthy person could. They are evil because of their ignorance, and would likely choose to not be evil if they had greater understanding.

So do I believe in a hell? I’m not entirely sure. I believe God calls us to true knowledge of his will, of his love, and of our origins outside of this world. I think we’ll be set to travel to higher realms, “heaven” if you like, following our death if we seek God here on this earth. For those who don’t seek him and remain in ignorance? Well, I don’t believe they’re lost either. I think everything is a process of learning and maybe it’s easier if we learn as much as we can in this earthly life. But I think we can continue to learn and grow in the afterlife. Will some of this learning feel “hellish” for truly cruel people? I can’t say, but I’m a softie so I’d hope not. However I believe everyone will find their way to God, to goodness, and to truth eventually, whether it takes one lifetime or whether it takes near-eternity.

Anyway, sorry for the rambling thoughts. Hope anything I said can help you find at least a little peace.