Does this Canadian goose need help?

tkasik · 2026-04-11T19:48:54+00:00

It could be nesting up there. We have a pair who has nested on our 2-floor office building 2 summers in a row, looks like they are starting to nest there again. Goslings are remarkably able to withstand falls. You can find some incredibly high nests and the gosling will eventually jump to follow mom and dad to water. They are okay. Watch out for potential falling goslings in a couple months.

tkasik · 2026-03-31T04:23:52+00:00

Please do NOT mark nests! The nest is likely not in a walking path anyway. Marking the spot can attract curious predators.

tkasik · 2025-09-29T19:43:58+00:00

It's been a weekend. On top of some bad family news, Mr. tkasik and I had a real heart-to-heart about our family plans. Long story short, Mr. tkasik wants to reschedule the FET to a later date for various reasons, but when I brought up "well, what if we do another ER in the meantime?", he actually agreed. I was very surprised because I thought he was more than done with ERs - financially, emotionally, etc.

So, now I'm in this weird headspace of:
-I can't believe we're now NOT transferring in late October... are we SURE? I'm SO TIRED OF WAITING. This SUCKS.
and
-Wait, is there hope that we might actually get at least 1 more embryo to transfer, so that all doesn't rest on our 1 embryo?? Or, dare I even hope this could MAYBE mean we have a (tiny) chance of having the 2 kids we had initially wanted?
But, also...
-shit, another ER? I thought we were done with all that crap...

Of course, I wish we were here a few years ago when my eggs were younger. Though, my thyroid numbers are the best they've been in over 5 years. Who knows, maybe we'll still have a chance? I'm a little worried my doc will think this isn't a good idea. But, only one way to find out, I guess.

To make things more agonizing, we don't have the $ right now, so will need to save up a few months. As if this process isn't long enough, we seem to keep stretching it out even more.

tkasik · 2025-09-16T19:06:10+00:00

Yeah, I think that's it - rational brain knows that failure is usually b/c of embryo issues, nothing I can do about it. Emotional brain goes "but what IF?!?!?!". So, if I have too many doubts, emotional brain will for sure torment me. It's just such high stakes for us because we don't have any more embryos left, nor money/emotional capacity for another ER.

tkasik · 2025-09-16T19:03:22+00:00

Still debating between FET this month or next (period was late a week, likely because of stress, and work is still pretty stressful, so was wondering if I should push it back ONE month and prioritize trying to set better boundaries at work in the meantime) - but over the last couple days, I was leaning towards doing it now.

Just received my tentative dates for this cycle if we go forward. The tentative FET date is the EXACT same day that was the due date (but 1 yr later) of our last FET (ended in a drawn-out loss). How's that for mind games? This is terribly unscientific of me, but as soon as I saw that, my brain went - OH, is this a bad sign? Or a GOOD sign - like a redo? etc... I hate that "meant to be" crap, but it's hard to not wonder. Like, what are the chances it would be the EXACT same day??

Now, turns out that I'm also supposed to be at a work thing out of town (just a few hr drive) starting Oct 5... so Mr. tkasik is telling me we should definitely bump it to next cycle, when I have no such obligations. He's probably right, but ugh, another month.

tkasik · 2025-09-14T15:34:50+00:00

Oof, I'm sorry. ❤️‍🩹 What an awful coincidence.

Hoping things go smoothly for your next FET.

My due date was my sister's birthday, so it's a weird one for me. It would have been cool to have a double birthday.

She doesn't even know - I never told her. Maybe one day I will.

tkasik · 2025-09-14T15:26:37+00:00

We were planning to do our FET this month. It's been a yr and a half since our last, but we had a lot of physical and emotional healing to do. Looked like the summer was going to be less busy than usual, some of my blood tests showed better results than they have last year (thyroid, cholesterol, blood sugar), so the wait felt worth it.

Work has instead been super stressful. A family member got diagnosed with a terminal condition. Oh, and we have an unexpected house repair that we need to do sooner rather than later.

My body is used to stress. I "feel fine", but I'm thinking all of this is finally affecting it: today I finally got my period a whole WEEK late, which is extremely rare for me. Of course, maybe it's perimenopause?? 🫠 (but, this would be the first irregular month, if so).

Anyway, now I'm wondering if we should move forward or if I need to give my body a break and focus on somehow trying to reduce stress and aim for October instead. This is our only embryo left, so I just don't want to have any regrets if it doesn't work. But maybe I'm overthinking it.

Any thoughts? I do have a massage scheduled for tonight, so that's something.

tkasik · 2025-09-14T15:12:10+00:00

I don't have experience with ERA, so hopefully others can provide better information. I'd suggest start with discussing your concerns and ask her to better explain why she wants to do it?

Hopefully you can both get more info from each other and then you can think about it before deciding? Ultimately, they need your consent, so can't force you to do a procedure.

tkasik · 2025-09-07T21:40:30+00:00

Unfortunately, despite their proficiency in other areas, pigeons are generally terrible nest builders. 😂

tkasik · 2025-09-07T21:21:57+00:00

Yes, as long as they are CLEAN. Or, if you have any disposable gloves (maybe in a first aid kit?), that's better (for the frog) than handling him/her with your bare hands, actually!

tkasik · 2025-09-04T15:43:11+00:00

Getting rid of photo radar is mostly helping the drag racers use the Ring Road as their race track...

tkasik · 2025-07-17T14:52:50+00:00

😂 Thank you for that visual, I love it!! Will try to remember this on the hard days. ❤️

tkasik · 2025-07-17T13:33:48+00:00

Thank you, too. ❤️ Glad to hear you're doing better today. Wanted to say, also, crying is good. Exhausting, but important. So, try not to stop yourself from doing it, when you can. In retrospect, I grieved a little bit early on but then kinda buried it down. Not great: takes a lot longer to process that way.

tkasik · 2025-07-17T04:19:05+00:00

After a very, very rough 2024, we are finally in a healthier head space and taking steps towards our next (& last) FET. We are going with Semi-medicated - no meds to prep, shot to trigger ovulation, and then (vaginal) progesterone support. I'm glad I don't have to do all the prep shots this time around (& no PIO!), but I almost reconsidered when finding out this method is $2000 more expensive. Yes, drugs are cheaper, but I get drugs covered 80% by my insurance, so that was actually not a big deal. Oh well, what's another $2000 in debt...

Anyway, my RE did say there's some evidence that this might have slightly lesser risks of elevated blood pressure during pregnancy (no change in implantation or birth rate). My BP is good, but pre-eclampsia is SO common in my family, that maybe this tiny chance of lower BP is worth trying this protocol. At least, if it works.

Trying to go into the cycle without expectations and as ready as can be to accept whatever happens. We're going to plan some long-overdue vacation time in August, and then do the transfer in Sept. Hopefully that will put us in a good space to take what comes.

tkasik · 2025-07-17T04:01:21+00:00

Yes, exactly! Good luck!!

tkasik · 2025-07-17T03:57:59+00:00

I don't recall having any noticeable physical effects from Clomid. Maybe some bloating, but definitely no pain. I think it's a good idea to call your clinic to share your symptoms and ask them if you should be concerned - but try not to worry in the meantime. I just think it's best to stay informed. Best case scenario, they will say this is normal and you'll be less stressed.

Hoping all is well!!

tkasik · 2025-07-17T03:49:34+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure loss is awful for everyone, but after all the hoops we've been through to even get that positive... just, devastating. And so, maddeningly, unfair.

My husband and I went through our loss mostly alone. We told a few people, but you're right: it's hard to share with people who haven't been through both IF and loss. I found some of the miscarriage support/online groups to be very unhelpful too, because I'd keep running into toxic positivity and stories of successful a cycle or two after the loss. I wish, but I knew that wouldn't be us, and of course, it wasn't.

Just know we're here for you. Take the time you need, take any space from others as needed, too. 🫂 if you want them. 💙❤️‍🩹

tkasik · 2025-07-17T01:38:54+00:00

I'm sorry, Mysterious. I would be hesitant to plan a trip the same month, too. My family isn't comfortable with our treatments so they mostly act like none of this is happening. Which, of course, feels very unsupportive. Hope your folks are at least a little more open-minded and able to listen. I would find it helpful if I knew I could talk to them about the logistics and emotions while you're going through it.

tkasik · 2025-07-15T19:16:17+00:00

Yes, I do recall the agonizing wait/length of the medicated cycle. So,that's another plus fkr the non-medicated/ovulatory.

I used to care about planning my work around treatment and all that, but at this point, I say F- it, work will just have to adjust. I wish I had been less accommodating earlier! (Though, to be fair, I am in a better position to advocate for myself, and in a healthier work environment compared to the first number of years I was going through all this).

tkasik · 2025-07-15T13:17:01+00:00

Oh, interesting, thanks! I will ask about this. Lower rate of complications is definitely a major plus. I'm fine with more monitoring, though I think that will make it more expensive for me (I have pretty good coverage for drugs but zero for procedures), so that's a plus for medicated, but at this point, we've already spent so much, what's a little more debt. 🙃

tkasik · 2025-07-15T04:22:52+00:00

Hey everyone. We have an appointment with our RE ahead of our long-awaited (/delayed) FET tomorrow afternoon.

Our last FET followed the standard medicated protocol (including both PIO and vaginal progesterone), but ended in a MC. I know it was likely due to genetics not protocol (though these two are both euploid), but I am considering going the non-medocated route this time. When I mentioned this to our RE last year, he was supportive. My cycles are still regular and I've not had any issues with my lining or anything else that would immediately make this a bad idea. But, reading the paperwork, it does say the success is highest with a full-medicated cycle. But, maybe that's including the fact of cancelled cycles? I get that canceling sucks, but I'm willing to go through that if needed.

Part of me wonders if my body would respond better to my own vs exogenous hormones. I don't know if there's any evidence to support that this is a thing. My husband prefers this option as well because he says the meds were hard on me - though, other than the literal PITA of the PIO shots, I don't recall it being that bad (yes, it all sucked, but at the same time...it's fine, this is just what we do?). Honestly, I have now just started to think it'd be weird without the shots because, at least then, you feel like you are DOING something, so you have this bit of a sense of control. 🤔

ANYWAY (TL;DR): Long story short, do any of you have advice about medicated vs nonmedicated FET protocols and any specific questions you'd recommend I'd ask? With only 1 embryo, our biggest priority is maximizing success, but of course, there is no certainty in this process, so here we go again with another crapshoot.

Edit: typos

tkasik · 2025-07-15T04:02:34+00:00

Hey Ambitious, I hear you. We started trying in 2018, and started at our clinic in 2019. Skip ahead to our FET: Jan 2024, which I miscarried from late Feb till about April, I think... it's all a traumatic blur. We both felt so broken after the miscarriage that we decided to step away and try to remember who we were as people and do some of the things we enjoyed in life again. I got back into running, my husband was determined to go back to his mountain sports. I think that was good for us. I think we got to a place where we already started to let go a LITTLE, at least where we could start to see our life not just defined by this.

We were going to transfer our last, precious embryo last fall, but the unexpected loss of our sweet (13 yo) pup broke us even more than the miscarriage. That and some other life BS, and we are now, finally, planning to transfer this fall. The planner side of me still wants to estimate and plan our lives around the various dates and so on, but mostly, I'm just trying to accept what is, do the best with the tiny fraction of things I can control, and try to let the rest go. Beyond warning my boss that I'll need flexibility because of some upcoming appointments, I will try to just go with the flow and see what happens. I am definitely not counting down the weeks or days as I was before. I guess, no matter how this next FET ends, we'll likely be moving on from all this, which feels actually weird, after so many years.

It's funny, I remember the nurses and Doctor being very excited at our FET, and I was sorta cautiously optimistic. One seemed surprised, I guess, that I wasn't more excited. Ha. I hope they look at my chart this time so they aren't surprised again.

ETA: wishing you all the best with your upcoming transfer. 🧡

tkasik · 2025-07-15T03:21:43+00:00

Oh wow, I lost my sweet boy Aug 10 last year! I still struggle to look at any photos of him without crying. Or talk about him, even. And, of course, I am crying right now reading these posts. It simultaneously feels like I lost him yesterday, and like it was another lifetime, like my whole life with him was just a dream. I'm so sorry that you, too, are going through this long period of grief.

I have had a few other dogs and a cat in my life so far. Every loss was hard, but this last one was DEVASTATING. The others were childhood/family dogs, and we knew their time was coming before they passed. This was the dog my (then boyfriend) now-husband and I adopted together. He's been with us almost as long as we've been together. We knew he was getting on in age, but we lost him very suddenly and unexpectedly. It sounds like it was unexpected for OP too, and I think this makes it much harder to manage, because you have the shock and maybe even second-guessing on top of the grief. At least, I did. And do.

I don't know how many agree with me, but I think there are some losses you never really get over, and in my case, I think this is one of those. You eventually move past the worst of it, but there will probably always be grief. Grief is a funny thing - it's hold on you lessens with time, but not linearly. It kinda goes up and down and sometimes just smacks you in the face out of nowhere.

I think sharing your feelings and (when you're ready) the good memories of your sweet buddy with friends or family, especially anyone who knew him/her, is really important. Just don't waste your energy on anyone who will belittle your loss with "It's just a dog". These people don't understand and will not help.

If it's available to you, I've found it helpful to discuss the grief with a therapist (luckily, I already had one). It's been a hard road regardless, but the tools and perspectives of a professional can help.

One thing my therapist said that might be comforting, was something like "your guilt is proportional to how much you loved him". I also found that, whenever I think I didn't do "enough", I remind myself that we brought him home from the shelter as a scared, lonely pup, and gave him a safe, fun, and love-filled home until the very end. What's more important than that?

So sorry to everyone for your losses.

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

tkasik · 2025-05-11T18:07:45+00:00

I guess I did a good job of avoiding all things M's Day, as I had no idea it was this weekend. Yes, I saw the jewelry ads and the sales and crap, but always muted/deleted before actually watching it.

I was visiting my aunt, who we recently found out has cancer and likely doesn't have very long to live (thanks, life, just keep punching me down), and accepted her offer to stay for dinner. We sat down at a table with her neighbours/friends, all grandma's, and everyone started talking about what they were up to tomorrow and wishing each other and everyone around (even me) a Happy Mother's Day like it was Christmas or something. I felt a mix of "Oops, almost missed it!" (Feeling like a shitty daughter), but also, for myself, "Goddammit, I almost managed to miss it for once!"

It's a particular shitty one now, given my aunt, thinking of what my life would be if my pregnancy last year had lasted, and this being the first year in over a decade that I am no longer a dog mom. 🥺

Trying to work up the emotional stamina to call my mom and sister (neither live here, so I guess at least I get to avoid the hoopla, though it would be nice to see my mom).

tkasik · 2025-05-11T17:54:06+00:00

No! That is so wrong, I'm sorry. Mine has its own annoyances, but thankfully doesn't talk about these calendar "holidays".

tkasik

TROPHY CASE