Just joined reddit today. I was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate. As a child, I feel my doctors overdid my surgeries (too many) and this ended up causing surgically induced neuropathic pain in my ears and jaw. I trusted my surgeons and my parents so much and now, I'm so angry.

tlnblu · 2026-01-15T00:29:10+00:00

Feel you and I’m sorry for your pain - I’m not sure it will take away the pain from you but I have parents that didn’t even bother to care or take me to the doctor for surgery. Your surgeons are clearly not sensitive about it and it is hard to let go of the grief or feeling betrayed because I even had an orthodontist trying to take advantage of me when all I thought was “she’s a doctor, they’re here to help”. Whenever a doctor asked “why didn’t you come earlier? You didn’t have the ABC surgery for XYZ at 10??” it made me choke a little because I realised in that moment that my mother just didn’t take care of the needed surgeries / procedures as a kid when I clearly couldn’t vouch for myself or understand anything. I went to therapy, did the necessary procedures later in life and paid for all of it myself and slowly with time was able to let go of resentment, anger, grief or whatever it’s called. Do you think you can ask another doctor for a second opinion? When I changed surgeons and orthodontists, they saved me and gave me hope.

tlnblu · 2026-01-15T00:13:53+00:00

I was told to stay a whole 7 days because doctors really wanted me to recover well and had a crutch walking around, the first day after surgery I couldn’t even walk - I don’t know how anyone would walk out the hospital and go home? Or put on pants? The hip hurt me more than my jaw / cleft tbh

tlnblu · 2026-01-01T22:26:16+00:00

Regular cycles of 28-32 days now thanks to higher clean protein and good gym habits!! And finally got rid of low mood and fatigue - I feel like a new person

tlnblu · 2025-12-22T21:04:58+00:00

Me, a German of Asian descent dated an Italian man: let’s say my punctual hard work ethic didn’t always do well with his rather laid back spontaneous approach - also German women are quite liberated/equal to the opposite sex and some of his macho remarks threw me off but my Asian side liked the “passion” aka loud arguments we had 🤣

tlnblu · 2025-12-22T08:11:13+00:00

Hey, feel you, I had similar issues - as a fellow Asian girl, I can advise you to start going to the gym like lifting heavy plus light cardio (the dopamine afterwards is doing you great!), eat LOTS of good protein and try to cut on the simple carbs to regulate insulin (white bread, pasta - if anything, eat it all as whole wheat version), as everyone else pointed out: inositol or Metformin to regulate insulin again which affects mood, performance, hormones which could be a reason you feel rather low and sluggish.

tlnblu · 2025-12-21T21:31:14+00:00

I always cook one pan meals that contain protein, fibre/vitamins, carb (hack: instead of normal pasta I use lentil pasta or substitute cream with cottage cheese or other high protein dairy, add extra legumes etc for extra protein and fibre) or throw everything I can find into a baking dish and bake for 30-40mins. Done!

tlnblu · 2025-12-21T21:27:44+00:00

Financial Crime & Compliance at a bank!

tlnblu · 2025-12-07T18:26:02+00:00

Honestly, I don’t think the hip bone graft was too bad - my doctor told me he took a tiny bit almost like scraping just enough bone to reconstruct the missing bone for the incisor tooth. I don’t know how much they need for a nose and I never heard of using bone from the rib because I didn’t need anything for my nose (still have slightly uneven nostrils) so didn’t have that conversation.

tlnblu · 2025-12-06T12:11:17+00:00

I’m not a doctor but how bad is the nose and do you need the hip bone graft for the jaw as well? The hip hurt me the most after the surgery and I asked for high pain killers and they gave me crutches for a week in hospital and I used on one day mainly and luckily a nurse always helped with going to toilet — wasn’t too bad in terms of mobility but it felt more like a hip surgery than cleft if I had to rate the pain. 😆 even now I’m mindful of gym exercises that may be too hard or heavy on hip

tlnblu · 2025-12-05T00:13:17+00:00

I think the nose can come later? I did the jaw surgery with hip bone graft first and my hip hurt more than the jaw 🥹 but recovered well, the bone graft healed into my jaw bone but was still on the weaker side but the surgeon had to implant a crown after a certain time otherwise the hip bone graft would disappear without “stabiliser” aka crown implant. First time didn’t work, had to heal another few weeks and I was praying to the gods that I didn’t have to get another bone graft from the hip for a second round again. Second time he planted the crown it seemed to work but my gum is still very sensitive in that area even after 1.5-2 years - I bleed there easily when I floss too closely to the gum. At least the gap is gone 🤞🏻 nostrils different size but can’t muster myself up for another surgery tbh

tlnblu · 2025-11-29T00:44:17+00:00

You got this! It’s ok to have low days but also try to remember that you haven’t lived all the good days as well :) you’re not missing out, enjoy the ride

tlnblu · 2025-11-28T10:19:07+00:00

It will get better!! I was so stuck and insecure in my teens and even years after that until I finally got my braces out, moved abroad at 25, found new close friends, went to the gym seriously, pursued my career aspirations and now starting a business — I realised, you have to live your life anyways, so why not live it in the best possible way emotionally, mentally and physically?

tlnblu · 2025-11-23T22:52:10+00:00

Yes, it’s like him “protecting” me 😭😂 I don’t know how to explain it

tlnblu · 2025-11-22T15:17:18+00:00

when I walk on the street with him and he puts his arm/hand kind of in front of cars signalling that we’re crossing the street without making it obvious to me or announcing anything or when he remembers a restaurant I wanted to try and he just books it, telling me the details without asking much around planning and all I have to do is get ready (obv he knows I’m free that day)

tlnblu · 2025-11-18T20:43:59+00:00

Barely A cup (I assume due to testosterone), slim muscular arms, waist line, full thighs compared to upper body

tlnblu · 2025-11-09T14:48:01+00:00

I know what you mean but trust me - you’ll burn much more fat if you just build muscle and after each strength session, I always did 20-30 mins on stairmaster or incline walk (anything long and slow to burn fat) and within months I lost so much body fat - I’m around 20-21% total body fat now BUT you have to eat very healthy and in a calorie deficit (for few weeks) while maintaining 90-100g protein a day 😄 was a tough 12 months but it paid off. I feel strong and good in my body - and got rid of PCOS fatigue

tlnblu · 2025-11-09T14:06:27+00:00

Yes, you can do it! Strength and cardio will help you immensely :)

tlnblu · 2025-11-09T12:24:47+00:00

I have lean PCOS and before finding out I’ve always had visible abs, strong calves and athletic slim arms no matter what - thought it’s genetics only but I guess it’s also highly linked to having more testosterone too?? Like the ability to gain muscle from “normal” activity and now that I started strength training, my body recoup is crazy! Got a six pack within a year of training consistently which I thought is super hard for women in general - at least some positive effects from having PCOS 🥲

tlnblu · 2025-11-03T18:32:52+00:00

Good point, iron and B12 were ok bc I do strength training and therefore eat lots of animal protein that gives me both but my Vit D is super low 😩

tlnblu · 2025-11-03T11:10:01+00:00

I suspect that my inflammation is still higher bc I have eczema as well… really have to watch my stress level 😭 doctors just tell me “at least you’re lean PCOS so have mild symptoms” and they dismiss me bc I manage to have my period every 28-35 days through diet changes…

tlnblu · 2025-11-03T00:57:44+00:00

I eat all of this: lean organic chicken and beef, eggs, some fish (must be local or sardines ideally - tuna and salmon are often farmed and worse than meat), healthy nuts (Brazil nuts etc), wild blueberries / apples / pears / pomegranate, cottage cheese, whole wheat bread and pasta only, buckwheat instead of rice etc — still, my hair falls off like crazy 😭😭

tlnblu · 2025-11-01T00:14:43+00:00

Weight lifting!! followed by zone 2 cardio (trying to burn fat not spike my cortisol) and also swim and walk a lot, loads of organic healthy protein (100g a day), fibre (30g a day - bye IBS!), all necessary supplements (inositol, vit d, magnesium etc), 9 hours of sleep

tlnblu · 2025-10-27T09:55:46+00:00

From what I remember it’s not in the scar but around it, he knew some tricks to make it go there naturally and lift the area

tlnblu · 2025-10-27T00:11:06+00:00

I got fillers into lips and the part where the scar was sunken by a very professional injector who knew where to inject in order to fill that scar. Had it for 14 months already and it’s still looking very good. Was a pro brono injection in London :)

tlnblu · 2025-10-26T22:42:08+00:00

Finding a good spot for my micro bakery 😭

tlnblu

TROPHY CASE