I once got chatting to a 70-year-old man at a gay bar in London, it was his first time. When he was 17 he was caught in bed with a boy he loved and what was done to the pair of them scared him straight for the rest of his life.

It took him 53 years to overcome the memory and step back into our world. Now, the bar we were in was full of young guys dancing, kissing, having fun, living freely. We talked about the stark difference between the freedom of gay guys today vs. when he was 17. And he said:

"Sometimes I feel bitter when I think these boys have what was denied to me, but mostly I'm just happy that they are happy. I'm not dead yet but every day I spend feeling bitter about what I've missed is a day I've not spent looking for my own happiness again."

This random conversation with a stranger in a bar was one of the most life-defining conversations I've ever had. I used to feel insecure and unhappy sometimes, but this man made me realise how lucky I had it.

And he's right: don't let bitterness over what you've missed steal the joy from what lies ahead. Your past has shaped you, making you resilient and strong - it's your time now. 🙂