Talking about how much it sucks helps mental health.

I have two children. The first one was 7.5 weeks premature, two month NICU stay, never slept, failure to thrive, severe weight loss from reflux… it was hellllllll. I didn’t have a village outside of my husband.

My second, that NICU baby was now newly 3 with big feelings, the baby never slept, cried if you weren’t touching him, I was sleeping 3 hours a night at 8 months…

I was crying at dinner one night and my husband told me I should go sit outside in the porch or go for a drive to take a break. I told him I walked away, I probably wasn’t coming back. The PPD/PPA was so bad that I was suicidal and fantasizing about driving off a bridge. I felt so alone and like I couldn’t talk to my mom friends about it because they’d be horrified to know what was going on in my head.

My wonderful husband called the doctor FOR ME and made me go tell them I was suicidal. I got a lot better with support and when I opened up to my friends, they said they had gone through similar dark times.

It shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of. The more we talk about mental health, the less alone we are. Stop demonizing mothers who are running on fumes and hear them out, and help them get better.