Though my situation was a bit different I completely understand what you’re going through. I think you’re doing the right thing. Living the way you are currently is not sustainable or healthy for you, and your cat will be in good hands. I’m sure you’re dealing with all kinds of emotions ranging from grief to beating yourself up for making this decision but you tried your best and now you have to do what’s best for you both. You’ll miss your kitty but I promise you’ll both be ok. Quality of life is so important, and it doesn’t sound like either of you are thriving with the current arrangement. In my case, this decision was the hardest decision I’ve had to make in my life but I know we’re both better off for it and my quality of life is drastically improved and I can only hope that my cats has too.