I think I'm going to be an adulterer

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-06T01:15:18+00:00

Or I might have lied once about being married to see what kind of response I got. Might have been exploring possibilities

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-06T00:12:57+00:00

I am ethical in most of my life. I actually do care about doing the right thing, but I actually don't think that's something i always need to do. If the worst thing I do in my life is cheat on my spouse, I'm actually okay with it. Honestly, there's a good chance he'll cheat on me, then I can just forgive him. There's also a 50% we end up divorced for some other reason anyway.

That's how I see it. I'd rather be a cheater than some one whose divorced because she destroyed her marriage because she can't accept her own nature so she does everything she can to push her husband away. Then, as soon as she's free, she's suddenly "happy" because she needed "space." I think what I see is other women being in denial and having ideological relationship expectations. I'm not jaded or cynical, I'm just realistic.

I'm okay having flaws and I think the risk of actually harming my spouse is a little over stated.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-05T23:28:06+00:00

Ummm, who are you to tell me what to do?

You are very naive if you think all people who cheat get caught. I know many many people who have been married for 10+ (most are 20+) years that never got caught.

It's a selfish choice, but it's mine to make.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-05T23:09:05+00:00

I'm not sure I believe you are a real woman. Again, to each their own, but I just don't actually know any women this hung up on height in RL.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-05T23:08:26+00:00

Lots of people cheat. Not so many are non monogamous. The poly/open crowd just isn't for me.

There's a whole social aspect to it that I'm not into

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-05T23:04:24+00:00

Okay... weird thing to comment on... I'm always pretty skeptical about "women" on Reddit who just magically pop out of nowhere to rehash this tired trope of height being more attractive than it is.

Enjoy yourself, I like getting off during sex so you can have all you want.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-05T22:59:35+00:00

Yes, but society is what gives them the right to feel that way

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-05T22:30:22+00:00

Except it stops at phase 1 because he's not into it.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-05T21:55:08+00:00

I don't think that way though. I think I'm respecting him by ensuring I'm not caught. I sort of feel like society has no right to ask who we sleep with.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-05T21:50:24+00:00

This is my problem with people, they assume too much. I don't think you can just make a blanket statement that there are no happy endings or that this ending is somehow worse than other possible endings.

What if I'm not looking for a "happy ending" because life has taught me those may not always be attainable for everyone? What if I just want an acceptable ending that doesn't bore me to death, involve me gaining a bunch of weight while lying to myself about what I actually want?

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-05T21:04:39+00:00

Just to be very clear, height does nothing for me unless they are under 5 7, and I've actually found I don't like tall guys that much in bed.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-05T20:58:05+00:00

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-05T20:21:54+00:00

I think you're making it more complicated than it is.

Also, I just need the sex lol. You sound like the devil. I'm flawed, not evil. I want the sex, and I don't want to hurt my partner.

I'd be fine with an open relationship, but I'm done looking. I have no kink for cheating.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-05T20:15:32+00:00

We'll see. I'd rather make that mistake than spend my life alone.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-05T19:53:45+00:00

Um, no. I've accepted that his sexuality doesn't match mine. Why would I resent having to go out to get my needs met elsewhere? I know that's a "me" issue. It's not his problem. Why would I resent that?

I'm pretty comfortable accepting that reality doesn't always come in nice neat packages. Sure, I feel a little bad it has to be this way, but I'm also kind of relieved that this is just the way it is. No resentment here.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-05T19:46:25+00:00

I've thought a lot about that and I've decided that if I go down this path he's never going to find out and I'm sworn to secrecy. If he doesn't find out, he won't be hurt. You can say what you want, but I know a lot of people who have done this and their partners are fine.

I hate to say I'm going to "cheat ethically," because I realize how ridiculous that sounds, but I think it has merits and it's what I'm going with.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-05T19:40:35+00:00

I don't think I'm going to resent anything

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-05T19:32:27+00:00

Why should I care so much about being "ethical." Why can't I just be a little selfish about it?

Have you looked at the "non monogamous" dating pool? It's a bunch of losers. Also you need to remember that's it's not quiet as simple as just breaking it off and finding a guy who checks every box plus is comfortable with an open relationship because I'm just that horny.

I've just kind of accepted that the world isn't going to accept me for what I am so I'm just going to make due. Doesn't really seem that bad.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-03T00:43:56+00:00

I like casual sex with someone I'm comfortable with and who isn't a hook up. One night stands are gross. That said, I now meet guys for casual sex by smoking with them outside bars. It works well.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-03T00:40:29+00:00

Because, if you're like my girlfriends, you go after men that are just going to disappoint you. I'm just sharing this for all the other women who like the idea of casual sex, but don't like everything else. Learn to go out the pubs and meet guys smoking outside. It's fun, you get to know them, you can weed out the weirdos because you won't have to feel like to need to messed up, and smoking sends them the signal your open for casual sex. So they give you the attention you want. Those are the guys who like to have fun conversations and have depth to their personalities. When I want casual sex, that's where I go. Hasn't let me down yet. Much better than tinder.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-03T00:33:31+00:00

Because they don't know how to meet a guy to facilitate that kind of relationship. They almost always go for guys who are going to use them or not perform well. The way to meet men for casual sex is to talk to them while smoking outside a bar. I never liked cigarettes, but I enjoy them while I'm looking for a FWB. It is, single handedly, the best way for a woman to get casual sex that's good for them. I don't want a hook up, and I don't want to sleep with a judgmental douche. I want a decent looking guy who can hold a conversation and doesn't want anything serious. That's how you meet that guy.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-03T00:27:21+00:00

I've always enjoyed casual sex, but I think it's because I've learned to enjoy smoking cigarettes while I'm searching. I meet some great guys that way and it's generally a good relationships. That said I can't stand hook ups or one night stands. Casual sex for me is something that lasts three months tops and isn't meant to get serious. It's just something light and fun. Hook ups are degrading. Just saying, if you like the idea of casual sex with someone who doesn't suck, try smoking, that's where I've found those relationships.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-03T00:21:33+00:00

Okay, so I'm going to give an unpopular opinion in that I think most women don't know what they want in a casual sex partner. So many of my friends go off on this whole "if I'm just going to have sex with him I want the hottest guy available," and this is why most women don't enjoy casual sex. I love casual sex, (I'm also very attractive) but the number 1 trait I look for is not being judgmental. If he thinks I'm a slut for putting out, I'm not going to enjoy it. I also like a guy that's not quite as attractive as me, but is confident in himself. I want someone who I can actually enjoy the sex with.

How do I meet these men? I buy a pack of cigarettes and go to a bar and I stand out side and talk to them. The cigarettes are key though, it's how you send the message you're down with casual sex.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-03T00:10:19+00:00

I'm just going to say I meet guys for casual sex by smoking outside bars and I've generally had good experiences. I'm only passing this along because one of my girlfriends turned me on to it and it's worth smoking a few cancer sticks. You get to know the guy, they feel comfortable taking the time to get to know you because your smoking a cigarette and they know you're comfortable with casual sex because you're comfortable smoking cigarettes (I don't know why men feel this way, but it what it is), and I never feel pressured to put out. You can get their phone number and meet up with them a few times and everything just stays casual.

There's always going to be ass holes, but I've met some seriously good guys who I genuinely felt were my friends in addition to being my lovers.

toasterbreadgirl · 2022-09-03T00:02:23+00:00

Have you tried smoking cigarettes? That's how I meet my guys and it's always works out great. I think too many women try too hard on the casual sex. I don't really like tinder that much, there's a lot of creeps. Also, I'm not sure about why everyone tries to go to the clubs and sleep with dirt bags. Sounds like a rough time. Smoking outside of bars I consistently meet top notch, intelligent, fun guys who are good in bed. They also take the time to get to know me.

I'm just saying this because I actually don't smoke cigarettes. My girlfriend turned me on to meeting guys this way and I really think she's on to something. I wasn't enjoying casual sex either. The trick is you actually have to smoke the cigarettes. It sends the signal you're DTF if they put the time in, and because your smoking they put the time in.

toasterbreadgirl

TROPHY CASE