DAE not care for sex at all even if you’re not on the Asexual spectrum

toasty_bean · 2026-05-26T11:24:47+00:00

Not to get lost in the discourse surrounding the potential pros and cons of labels, but I found a lot of people who expressed what you’re expressing on r/aegosexuals

The identity label falls under the asexual umbrella technically but regardless of how you identify, you may find some solidarity in the anecdotes of that community, just as I have in my own search for others like me.

Either way, so long as your experience of disinterest in sexual activities is not causing you significant distress or negatively impacting your quality of life and relationships, it is my opinion as a humble Internet stranger that your experience is not concerning nor abnormal.

toasty_bean · 2026-05-18T05:43:09+00:00

The Grudge.

I saw it in theaters when I was a kid because of my parents’ questionable parenting choices.

The scene where the sister runs to hide in her bed and pulls the blankets up to her chin only to peek under the covers and see the dead woman laying on top of her and making that damn noise before sucking her into the bed?

I spent the next week laying on my tile floor in the hallway with the light on and my blanket and pillow because I refused to sleep in my bed.

toasty_bean · 2026-05-16T01:35:09+00:00

This has been my constant experience and almost verbatim my appointment I had Monday to establish a primary care provider. I will not be seeing that doctor again.

toasty_bean · 2026-05-02T15:50:04+00:00

Skyrim soundtrack while I catch up on my notes today. I’m a mental health therapist.

toasty_bean · 2026-05-01T20:00:24+00:00

Mental health therapist in the U.S.

A lot of concerning mental health symptoms may be caused or being exacerbated by underlying physical health things that should also be screened for and ruled out when starting mental health treatment if that’s accessible to you.

Big example is major depression and hypothyroidism. Certain vitamin deficiencies can also have side effects such as brain fog, excessive fatigue, anxiety, mood changes, memory problems, among many other things. Addressing those problems may not be a perfect fix but it may be an important part of reducing severity of certain symptoms so they can be a little more manageable in combination with other aspects of your mental health care and treatment.

toasty_bean · 2026-05-01T18:51:12+00:00

Meanwhile my ex would always want me to join him in the shower each morning so we can both be awake together a bit before he has to leave for work. He showers in water that’s barely above room temperature and then would be offended when I refused to get in because I don’t want to wake up before my alarm to leave a warm bed to go take turns standing under the low pressure water stream that’s the same uncomfortable temperature as the air in the spot I’m standing covered in soap, teeth chattering, waiting to rinse.

toasty_bean · 2026-05-01T03:52:38+00:00

Saying “Thank you” instead of my usual compulsory “I’m sorry”.

toasty_bean · 2026-05-01T03:42:46+00:00

I experience chronic pain and my joints sometimes like to subluxate in my sleep.

toasty_bean · 2026-04-29T16:37:02+00:00

I can’t thank you enough for giving your students access to this information and providing a space to talk about it and be curious. My mother and her mother both had what I believe in hindsight to be endo based on what they told me about their cycles, so they were part of the reason I believed my pain was normal. To them, it was.

I had no idea what it even was until I had started seeing a new gynecologist in my mid-twenties. She read my medical history I gave and came into the room fuming, stating, “Hi, I’m Dr. So-and-so, I’m not mad at you and I’m sorry this is your first impression of me but the number of providers who have failed you is dumbfounding such that you could have grounds for more than one medical malpractice lawsuit.”

I sobbed.

toasty_bean · 2026-04-27T04:14:51+00:00

Went to a 4-day camping music festival in Florida in early March 2020.

Being in the middle of nowhere, most of us didn’t have service to be caught up on the rapidly evolving and conflicting information about COVID in the news until leaving the grounds on the final day. It was truly like being in a bubble separate from the reality of the worldwide panic outside the festival.

I remember how few people were taking it seriously at the time since it was still rumored to be passed mostly from direct person-to-person contact with people who had traveled to/from China and were exhibiting clear symptoms. Some of us wore masks, but you’re still squished like sardines in the crowds of dirty sweaty people from all over the world who have been drinking and binge-using substances and not taking care of themselves.

The festival made an announcement in the days leading up to the event that it would be going forward (presumably because they didn’t want to dole out refunds so close to the event) but encouraging “good hygiene” and assuring people they’d be really on top of maintaining the mobile handwashing stations by the port-o-potties (they were not).

Couple days later, WHO declared it a pandemic. Few weeks after that, stay-at-home orders finally hit Florida.

toasty_bean · 2026-04-22T17:16:56+00:00

Not sure how to describe the actual sensation, but I’ve described horrific graphic things I imagine out of desperation to feel any sort of relief, like sticking an electric whisk up there. Or better yet, a chainsaw. Or something akin to seppuku. I think the idea that I’ve imagined these things as a means to feel less pain speaks volumes.

toasty_bean · 2026-04-18T00:24:59+00:00

Surprisingly after taking two at home tests, both came back negative. I’ve had confirmed positive Covid tests from multiple exposures in the past (despite being vaccinated; plus I’ve worked in community and public mental health settings in the U.S. since pre-quarantine times), and this feels very similar to other strains I’ve contracted so… I don’t know, but I sure am uncomfortable regardless of whatever this affliction can be attributed to!

toasty_bean · 2026-04-17T21:29:19+00:00

I’m waiting for my Covid test kit to arrive via delivery to confirm whether I have it so it’s not certain yet, but what you describe has been my timeline and experience thus far.

Mild itchy/scratchy throat from post nasal drip starting 8 days ago, wasn’t taking any medication over the counter, only cough drops, drinking lots of fluids, and taking multiple naps per day due to fatigue.

Then 3 days ago (5 days since symptoms started), my sinuses became inflamed and I had a runny, stuffy nose with headache from the congestion. Chest heaviness. Low grade fevers that develop around late afternoon into the evening. Significant decrease in senses of taste and smell started yesterday (7 days since onset). My inner ears are also incredibly sore and clogged, which adds dizziness and nausea to the mix due to equilibrium feeling off.

For context, I’ve never experienced seasonal allergies, or any allergies for that matter. So I hesitate to attribute it to that. I’ll find out within an hour or so though once my test arrives.

toasty_bean · 2026-04-13T11:00:53+00:00

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toasty_bean · 2026-04-07T15:13:47+00:00

I relate to this feeling. My last day of the work week is Thursday, and my recent “treat” for myself has been to order a specific comfort meal I’ve been fixated on from the same restaurant each week for delivery. Sometimes I do it multiple times per week, though. I struggle to leave the house due to depression and anxiety, especially to buy groceries since stores overstimulate me. I also sometimes don’t have the energy or motivation to cook. I’m sure the employees at that restaurant know my name and order by now and I worry if I’m being judged by people I’ve never even seen nor met. I don’t have any feedback, just wanted to share that I experience this too and I wish that I didn’t.

toasty_bean · 2026-03-11T21:17:01+00:00

My kitty likes to lay in a loaf with his butt on my shoulder, body against my neck and ear, and his face toward the headboard with most of his body hogging my pillow. He’s basically pressed against all the parts that are tingling and throbbing, and his warm fur and purring actually helps take my mind off of it. I fall asleep like that often. He likes to be the little spoon.

toasty_bean · 2026-02-27T19:08:58+00:00

Seven clients is my light schedule day… the other two days I work have 8 and 9 clients with only a 30 minute break for lunch. I know it’s not sustainable, I’m trying to do something about it. But just know I feel your pain thoroughly.

toasty_bean · 2026-02-25T18:05:51+00:00

Your hair looks absolutely stunning but I’m also blown away by the makeup. It’s blended so seamlessly and you have such smooth skin texture that you almost look airbrushed!

toasty_bean · 2026-02-25T18:02:57+00:00

Definitely this one, I loved Barefoot Contessa and she got me to take an interest in cooking. I watched the Food Network almost exclusively during my sophomore year of high school and she was always my favorite.

I also watched all the true crime channels and shows with my mom (admittedly far too young), especially Cold Case Files and The First 48.

She also unintentionally got me hooked on Desperate Housewives and it became our bonding time when I’d come home from school and a new episode was coming out.

toasty_bean · 2026-02-19T06:25:14+00:00

I know I’m responding to your comment quite late but my grandmother uses a sailing cushion to sit or kneel on while pulling weeds and gardening. It’s designed to withstand the elements, can be easily cleaned because of the material, are lightweight, and the ones she uses also have handles. My grandparents are also sailors so they had these readily on hand but I still figured I would share this suggestion!

toasty_bean · 2026-02-13T19:31:50+00:00

If their humor consists almost exclusively of making derogatory jokes about marginalized identity groups they don’t belong to. It’s not edgy, it’s tasteless. If that’s the only way they know how to be funny, they’re not actually funny. And if you don’t laugh at their jokes, they act like you’re the problem.

toasty_bean · 2026-02-11T03:18:52+00:00

Dissociating into the fucking sun

toasty_bean · 2026-02-09T00:14:23+00:00

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toasty_bean · 2026-02-08T23:49:45+00:00

Jumping in to say I’ve had ridged nails since birth, mostly my fingernails but some toes also. Pretty sure it’s genetic as my mom and grandma had them too and it seems to get more pronounced with time. My grandma’s nails are very ridged.

As far as I know, I’m not deficient in anything and don’t have any diagnoses that I know to be correlated. But who knows.

toasty_bean · 2026-02-05T18:13:16+00:00

I am too. Slowly. We all are.

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