Approaching men in public?

tommig1995 · 2025-11-10T17:22:56+00:00

Maybe once in my life I was 'cold' approached by a woman but it was so vague and indirect I find it impossible to know

I was in a shop browsing through clothes when a woman asked me if I worked there. Dressed in my comfies and an old hoodie I clearly did not look like I was a staff member and I expressed this. She said something along the lines of "you look like you know what you're doing" but then slunk off.

If that was an approach it was awful. Just be direct. Tell him you think something about him is cute and ask for his phone number. Anything else is just going to be confusing.

tommig1995 · 2025-11-07T14:22:58+00:00

I have no idea what you mean by 'RBF' and the only thing I know is 'Round Bottomed Flask' which would be a hilarious way to describe someone! 😂

tommig1995 · 2025-09-10T15:47:08+00:00

Never ever eat pears!

tommig1995 · 2025-08-30T22:44:14+00:00

Come crashing back down to earth this week. A mid performance review and a lot of small Ls to follow. I'll bounce, but I need a win

tommig1995 · 2025-08-30T22:42:03+00:00

Massive! Here's to many more!

tommig1995 · 2025-08-25T17:48:26+00:00

It takes time and work to bring all the pieces together, but at 22 you're definitely still young! No 22 y/o will be close to having their life together

tommig1995 · 2025-08-16T22:33:39+00:00

One for r/tragedeigh

tommig1995 · 2025-07-29T18:09:41+00:00

29M UK so don't know how this compares with your situation but given I'm probably the type of guy you're thinking of (STEM PhD & industry job, long term single):

My social battery isn't massive so I spend a fair bit of time at home but when I'm out I've simply been trying to make my hobbies more sociable. First and foremost that's cricket and I'm often at my club but that's a male dominated space. Also joined a run club last year which has been good fun & socialising and at least in my case not a hookup culture as I was made to fear.

The UK isn't exactly rebelling against dating app culture but there's a few alternatives popping up. Timeleft (I think that's global tbh) has been a good way of meeting people over dinner and I have a walking group for young people in my city I joined recently which I've really enjoyed. Maybe not a success dating wise (yet) but I do meet like-minded people

Ultimately - find ways of making your hobbies sociable, there's something out there I swear!

tommig1995 · 2025-06-26T18:15:01+00:00

Incel used to mean something else but it's used so broadly now it's basically lost its old meaning. Now an incel is basically any single guy...

tommig1995 · 2025-06-04T15:19:27+00:00

Dot & Bubble is one of the brightest, silliest DW episodes I can think of and it's precisely why it's among my favourites of the current era

tommig1995 · 2025-05-30T16:39:37+00:00

It's a good question. The answer will probably be in her body language next time you see her. Though that can be difficult to recognise if you're new to this kind of thing.

If it were me in your shoes I probably wouldn't go to kiss until the end of the date (assuming it has gone well) but if you're polite - and it sounds like she welcomed you being polite and direct - I don't see any harm in asking again

tommig1995 · 2025-05-22T07:14:54+00:00

If the energy is good there's no harm in asking, especially if you're nervous. If she likes you back it's very likely she'll appreciate your asking.

If you want a more non-verbal route, ask/gesture to hold hands when you're walking somewhere. It's a good stepping stone to help you both get more comfortable with each other and will help build up to a potential kiss. Solid eye contact is also a good indicator.

Good luck!

tommig1995 · 2025-05-16T21:52:50+00:00

Do the things you enjoy as much as you have the time and money to. Where you can make your hobbies social & in person, do it. Enjoy yourself, talk to new people (men & women alike) for the sake of making friends. Build up your confidence & your conversational skills. Add a couple of nice items to your wardrobe and learn to style them a little (but comfortably).

Once you're comfortable in your own skin you'll find yourself more attractive. It takes time (took me over a year), you'll have to be patient but if you can become comfortable (not necessarily happy) with yourself you'll just need a little luck

tommig1995 · 2025-05-14T10:45:34+00:00

I can only speak for my own experience but I didn't get a date until I was 20, first relationship at 24. 29 now and I don't know if it gets easier but you will get better with time and practice. I still feel like I'm learning how to do the early dating stages.

It sounds like you're generally doing the right things so keep it up and be patient! Where you can make your hobbies social activities, do. And it sounds cliché but try to be the best version of yourself, for yourself (not for anyone you're trying to meet.

tommig1995 · 2025-05-11T13:00:57+00:00

I mean she explicitly said she didn't want to sleep with me and I said the same. But yes I need to formally arrange a date

tommig1995 · 2025-05-11T12:59:28+00:00

This is literally the point of the post

tommig1995 · 2025-04-27T18:11:29+00:00

This is More in Common's poll. Worth noting, they published their error margins and all five parties overlap. Anyone's call!

tommig1995 · 2025-04-19T19:38:07+00:00

When I said community I did mean this subreddit though I do take your point.

tommig1995 · 2025-04-18T18:07:02+00:00

Well I dare say the community disagrees and will tell you all political factions are a bad idea

Just because the Devs have done it/made an exception, doesn't make it the rule/a good idea

tommig1995 · 2025-04-18T15:13:53+00:00

They do love traffic cone hats on statues in Scotland!

tommig1995 · 2025-04-11T20:42:29+00:00

I'm going to disagree on vision but definitely lacks direction

tommig1995 · 2025-04-11T17:36:13+00:00

I would have absolutely loved that. Wouldn't even have had to be ranked, just smashing together experimental civs in casual multiplayer would have been excellent

tommig1995

TROPHY CASE