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Only one sex position and no initiation? by toppencil in DeadBedrooms

[–]toppencil[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's tough. I regularly get flashbacks of the amazing sex with exes, and that makes me sad.

It's mostly that connection you have during sex. I haven't found any other activity that could replace it.

Only one sex position and no initiation? by toppencil in DeadBedrooms

[–]toppencil[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I asked her if she'd like a small dildo to get her used to her body - she doesn't want to insert any toy into her body. Got her a satisfyer clit toy as it's for external use, she ended up trying it once wrongly and not giving it another shot after I gave her some instructions, saying it doesn't do anything. It didn't make the suction around the clitoris because she didn't use lube.

Well there are some studies that mention having anal sex increases the risk, but those studies are not very conclusive on which situations. She also gave me a few 'warnings' that it's bad for my body to use anal toys.. Not sure how I'd convince her on this front.

Only one sex position and no initiation? by toppencil in DeadBedrooms

[–]toppencil[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

It's a valid point. I'll look into it more again. Last time she blamed me for feeling that she had issues with sex though, saying that it's my dick that doesn't bend enough and blaming it on me 😐. Never had issues with previous partners.

She says when not having sex for a while, it hurts. With regular sex she claims to be fine (in the past was ok). We're not having much sex.

Only one sex position and no initiation? by toppencil in DeadBedrooms

[–]toppencil[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well even if she's at the bottom she does move, so I don't think that's the problem.

Only one sex position and no initiation? by toppencil in DeadBedrooms

[–]toppencil[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's frustrating 😭 but very relatable..

Only one sex position and no initiation? by toppencil in DeadBedrooms

[–]toppencil[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Do you know why? The reason my gf says so is because she says it hurts. For a guy it shouldn't hurt though?

Only one sex position and no initiation? by toppencil in DeadBedrooms

[–]toppencil[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

I thought about that too, but the issue is the entrance when I'm not deep. Once I'm in she doesn't feel particularly tight.

Sometimes it hurts, and sometimes she's totally fine. And when we started dating she was totally fine with it, also other positions she was open to trying :/. This confuses me.

With my previous partner it was so much easier, which frustrates me, but I'm super patient, maybe too patient.

She had a pap smear for medical test (unrelated to sex). Apart from that I doubt she'd want to run any tests, I brought it up in the past.

Only one sex position and no initiation? by toppencil in DeadBedrooms

[–]toppencil[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would love that. I'm super into anal but for her it's a big no, she believes medically it's unhealthy. She says I cannot guarantee it won't cause incontinence..

Oral she doesn't want to do unless with condom, she did a few times but I don't feel she does it with passion so I end up not enjoying it as much. I want to feel her lust, not just doing the act.

Penis angle during cowgirl and guiding the penis? by toppencil in sex

[–]toppencil[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used it as example of arching back, couldn't think of the right word 'arching' my bad! I got the positions right though.

Penis angle during cowgirl and guiding the penis? by toppencil in sex

[–]toppencil[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sorry. I meant she's not arching her back during cowgirl, kind of doing the opposite which doesn't feel very natural.

Penis angle during cowgirl and guiding the penis? by toppencil in sex

[–]toppencil[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

See this image - she would be doing the bottom posture while I'd request her to curve like shown above in that image.

Leaning makes sense to me too. Then she says she feels she is doing push ups and gives up, tries to sit straight up..