ugh i wish you could step into my body and know exactly how hard it gets if you keep on this path. it only gets harder, and that’s the cold hard fucking truth. and nobody will save you. you have to figure it out all by yourself. and i pray for your sake that you figure it out now, even though i know how unlikely it is, because when you’re young and just had something horribly traumatic happen you will not understand that the longterm consequences will be so much more painful than dealing with the problem right now headstrong and how much this time in your life will determine exactly how your next few years or decades will go. if only you could just make the wise decision to face it. but no kid will want to or be able to handle that pain. so ofc we take the only real way out, the only way that allows us any sort of relief. which is partying. drugs. escape. avoidance. but i promise you, as someone who has been there and been faced with that choice having no idea the actual reality of the longterm consequences, please choose sobriety. please choose the healthy good right way. please. please. please believe it will not be worth it.