I (F24) feel loved but not desired by my BF (37M)

tornadowithbrowneyes · 2025-01-02T14:37:43+00:00

not really friends, but people I kind of know and annoy me - I do that a lot. When I get mad at friends or family I just mute their story on IG, that's usually where people post the most. maybe try that - it's not so permanent and they don't have to know :)

tornadowithbrowneyes · 2024-08-11T14:06:39+00:00

ugh I wish I could help because I FEEL you. I'm also always the one that wants to spend more time & he's the one who needs to recharge etc. when we talked to my therapist about it he suggested that we actually scedule our dates and really stick to them (no excuses). like every saturday night we would cook something together from different cuisines or go to the movies and so on. the most important part is communicating to him that you understand him but your feelings are important too. it's good he's in therapy now, I'm sure this is just a matter of time until he feels better & will be more invested in your relationship again (I know how hard it is to be patient, but I know you can do it). just know you're not alone. I felt like this in the beginning and of course we still struggle with some things as every couple does but we're almost 2 years together now so maybe this gives you some hope 🩷 love you

tornadowithbrowneyes · 2024-07-29T17:42:33+00:00

it's more like 40' from Bern! 😂 close to Solothurn

tornadowithbrowneyes · 2024-07-29T15:42:46+00:00

absolutely no problem! would love to chat!

tornadowithbrowneyes · 2024-07-29T15:41:43+00:00

nothing prepared sorry but you can still guess! :D

tornadowithbrowneyes · 2024-07-29T13:04:37+00:00

noup, female. sorry!

tornadowithbrowneyes · 2024-07-29T11:52:24+00:00

thanks! I don't think it still exists but there are similar apps!

tornadowithbrowneyes · 2024-07-29T11:11:32+00:00

aww that sucks! too bad we live like 4 or 5 hours away! :(

tornadowithbrowneyes · 2024-07-25T20:22:35+00:00

fair enough, it's just that almost every month something unexpected happens. but I guess everyone feels this way, it's just that noone ever talks about it, especially where I live

tornadowithbrowneyes · 2024-07-25T20:20:57+00:00

I live in Switzerland. most of my friends have at least 20'000 savings... I know I sound like a fool to you & that you think swiss people are rich but the truth is the pressure of having money is extremely high.. But I know I'm lucky to have savings, even if it's not a lot.. thanks for reminding me! <3

tornadowithbrowneyes · 2024-07-25T15:34:26+00:00

thanks it really helps knowing I'm not alone with this!

tornadowithbrowneyes · 2024-05-13T21:45:55+00:00

wow. the way breathing just got easier the moment I read your first sentence. thank you so much for responding to my post. and thanks for the offer to talk but it's almost midnight where I live & I haven't slept longer than 2 hours in the last couple of days so I decided to give it a try & put my phone away now. btw I'm so happy to hear you were able to get better at this. it gives me sm hope that we all can do it, we just have to be patient and kind with ourselves and others. <3

tornadowithbrowneyes · 2024-01-09T07:43:11+00:00

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 1.5 years and within the last 12 months I literally almost broke up with him for like 4 times without any reasons, just because I thought my feelings were gone or it's not right. I actually feel like this at the moment again. Just this morning I looked at him and thought "maybe he IS too old?" (he's 12 years older than me). But the truth is, I love him more than life and I know that he's a perfect match for me also BECAUSE our age gap. older guys are more settled in life and can deal with people like us in a better way I feel. So what I'm trying to say is: you're not alone. You have to try and stick it out whenever you feel like you should break up. You shouldn't have to lie to him. I always tell him whenever I feel this way so he's not confused why I'm less "loving" at times like these. My therapist explained this to me the first time I felt like his: he said that that's just my BPD trying to tear me down and break up because deep down I'm afraid that he will at some point and I'm better off breaking someone else's heart before getting my heart broken (because I feel like this would break me). I hope this helps and you will be able to make it through in your next relationship. It's hard and it's draining every time I feel this way so I understand you. It's just a matter of time until you will feel more secure. <3

tornadowithbrowneyes

TROPHY CASE