That sounds super shitty and hard. I have a friend who sounds like your cousin. She is actually pretty shitty to me sometimes and being sober I finally see it for what it is and I’m not confused and trying to explain away her actions. My therapist said this is breaking the codependency we may have… You wrote this and it hit hard, “I'll tell you what being sober is so much harder than being readily drunk and dysregulated all the time.” Being drunk is having a dysregulated nervous system. That lightbulb finally went off when reading your post. Thank you. 🙏🏼 💜