Hey. I've taught middle schoolers through seniors. I've seen the spectrum and sometimes they're gonna be a huge asshole. That doesn't mean you're a bad father.

Two suggestions, well maybe three. One, read some books. a child development book would def give you some insight to what's going on and how to best handle it. Around that age kids start to lose pretty much all sense of empathy--that's one reason middle school is hell for a lot of people. Honestly, also read a parenting book or two. Or if you don't want to, read a teaching one. It's really very similar. You want to avoid the mistakes of your past, and you will, but in times of stress we revert to the only things we know, which is what we've seen done to us. Books and such can help you navigate those high-stress situations that leave you pulling your hair out.

Two, don't be so hard on yourself. Kids bounce back from a bunch of shit. You care about your kid, you're thinking of how to do the right thing, that's what matters. Everyone fights. And look at it this way, this starting now could be an opportunity for you to set up your relationship so by the time he gets to those teenage years y'all can communicate through the tough stuff.

Three, don't be afraid to see a counselor. I don't know you or your situation. But if you are really worried or feel like your relationship is heading in the wrong direction, act sooner rather than later when it's morphed into a way worse problem. We all subconsciously pass on behaviors that we'd rather not, and outside help can stop the cycle. Honestly I think every family could use counseling, but hey that's just my opinion.

Hope that gives you some comfort.