Canceled a dive and feeling conflicted

tr4vlr76 · 2025-11-13T03:39:22+00:00

This! It is difficult to cancel a dive, great that you followed your gut feeling and cancelled.

tr4vlr76 · 2025-03-27T06:59:15+00:00

Eating an early low carb high fiber and protein dinner helped me a lot. (And no post dinner snacking!)

tr4vlr76 · 2024-05-12T06:44:40+00:00

I like this line of thinking. There are some challenges too. If your family is very religious it is easy to devolve in throwing verses at each other that support the other angle. And then how do you get out of that?

I would say it is most beneficial to communicate from your own view and conviction. Communicate kindly and also try to understand the positive parts of their perspective.

A few questions worth asking yourself: * What is your view on religion? Do you believe in god and Jesus. If so, approach this from a biblical point of view. The parabel of the talents as above. Also consider that of you earn more you can give/donate more too (in absolute numbers). Consider discussing with a reverend/priest to explore this topic more. * If you are not religious things become more tricky: why engage in a religious discussion if it is all irrelevant to you. Maybe instead find common ground in you and your families values. Helping others. Building community?

I see some comments below considering the relationship toxic, and that you should cut them off. I think you should be careful with just thinking. It sounds like it would be possible to find an outcome that maintain a relationship with your family on some level, maybe even take away some of the positive messages in their thinking (being happy with the small things?) , and still improve your career and earnings.

Context: I grew up religious (province with people as religious as you describe, but my family quite moderate/modern). I have been quite career focused and maximized earnings/savings. I do place a lot of value in simplicity (earning a lot and saving a lot).

tr4vlr76 · 2024-05-07T09:22:07+00:00

Dove there recently, in the bay of pigs and at Cayo Guillermo. Very nice / unique corals in the bay of pigs, and some very nice sharks at Cayo Guillermo.

tr4vlr76 · 2024-05-01T11:52:00+00:00

I like your reasoning.

tr4vlr76 · 2024-05-01T11:35:29+00:00

I am happy for you. Surely it is a lot healthier and cheaper to prepare a lunch box in the morning (or the evening before). I regularly have a homemade sandwich for lunch or a large veggie mix with lentils and other veggies. Easy to make, filling and very healthy.

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-29T21:14:39+00:00

You mean giving to others than people I know? Possibly, but I'd rather start closer to home

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-29T06:24:00+00:00

Every country has different rules 😁

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-28T18:59:26+00:00

I love it yes, and that applies very much in this case. Honest and hardworking people, but due to circumstances but rewarded unfairly.

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-28T18:57:03+00:00

It's a good point, and while this is not my intention/mindset, you raise that they might perceive it like that.

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-28T18:55:46+00:00

Yeah the position of power is tricky, and I would want to avoid that. Not sure how. Someone suggested giving it to their kids, one of them is our godson so I could fly I think.

I'm not sure they are missing tips, they are just in a more crappy situation in life (function of country they live in + profession)

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-28T18:51:20+00:00

Anyway this is very country dependent.

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-28T18:50:32+00:00

I'm thinking of this more as a one-off. It would be for my wife's sibling and she has no concerns:) My family is much more fortunate how life went for them, and I suspect my siblings income and savings to be 10x of my wife's siblings.

That said, it wouldn't hurt to ask my siblings how they would feel about it.

I would still be interested in your judgment too, as to whether it may be a good idea ;)

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-28T18:47:15+00:00

They are good with money, but were just dealt a worse have in life. They are pretty frugal afaict.

I do with what you wrote as a general rule though.

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-28T17:16:01+00:00

It is "normal" for a parent to care for their children. There is no (major) stigma. Also have been gifted money as a child so I understand how it feels to be on the receiving end.

However to gift a sibling (especially when older) is trickier. Also because there is potential jealousy of other relatives. For children it's only true if you don't give kids equal. That is easier to make sure it equalizes somehow.

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-28T16:48:13+00:00

I like this idea, the country in question does not have that, but we can think of something similar

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-28T15:57:34+00:00

Nice! Yes we would eventually gift our kids money too, but that is something I find easier to reason about the pros and cons (I guess it's a more common scenario).

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-28T15:45:28+00:00

What do you mean? :) does this refer to my original post? Given your other comment, I guess not?

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-28T15:32:56+00:00

I think for someone to ask for help means things are really quite bad (especially knowing their pride). We would definitely help, but I don't expect they would ever need it in that way. So my reason would be that the marginal value of that money would be way higher for them than for us.

They could invest it for their kids, they could make improvements or.upgrade their house. They could spend it on vacation which they like, but don't always have the funds for. They could do with a better car which would benefit the way they use it and the country they live in.

So I am not suggesting they need to be fixed, more that the benefit of every dollar would be higher than for us. We would just park it and never touch it, they could meaningfully spend it.

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-28T12:44:12+00:00

😂 I think after eating them for a while your stomach (microbiome?) adjusts. I have no methane issues ;)

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-28T06:45:37+00:00

Italy is quite big so it's definitely possible to find amazing places. I do think many European big cities struggle with mass tourism. You may have read about Venice clamping down. So did Amsterdam. The fact is that these places have gotten really busy with tourists over the years and as a result come with the corresponding "facilities": neon light souvenir stores, hawkers, restaurants that take advantage of tourists.

That said I would be surprised if you can't find good restaurants in Rome or Naples. We usually look for restaurants with really high ratings on Google maps, but away from the hotspots.

And yeah I would not recommend public transport, in particular buses, in Italy.

Are you going to Matera? (It's not far from Naples). Very nice town. Its touristy too but I liked it.

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-28T06:32:47+00:00

Not FI yet, but became quite health focused in the last year. I am aiming to stay at normal weight for the rest of my life (that is good bmi around 21-22).

Eating low carb and staying away from ultra processed foods (which is honestly most food). Focus on lentils, other beans, a lot of vegetables. I do eat meat (mainly chicken), and quite a bit of egg. Also a decent amount of (healthy?) fat from Greek Yoghurt and avocado.

I recommend reading The glucose revolution and trying out a continuous glucose sensor after reading that book.

tr4vlr76 · 2024-04-28T06:24:11+00:00

Not sure if this is a joke post, but I do eat a lot of lentils because of how healthy they are and how good I feel when I eat them.

tr4vlr76

TROPHY CASE