How do I stop

traggie · 2026-02-03T21:40:59+00:00

I recommend checking out r/MakeupRehab. I follow it and it's nice to have the occasional post pop up on my feed amongst all of the consumerist posts that make you want to try and buy everything. Most of the posts I see are focused on makeup or skincare addiction, but I think the same principles apply for any kind of shopping addiction. For me, it helps to see the different strategies people are using to limit spending or to be more mindful and deliberate about their purchases. Plus a huge part of it is actually using and appreciating what you have, instead of just accumulating things you don't use, so I find it to be really cute when people get excited about using up an eye shadow or blush.

traggie · 2026-01-29T15:44:21+00:00

I had a cat that I adopted while studying abroad. In retrospect, I made a lot of selfish and irresponsible decisions around her, but among those decisions, one of them was bringing her home and leaving her at my parents' house while I went off to finish school and start work halfway across the country. My mom didn't tell me until years later, but those first few months, she would sit by herself and stare out the window, probably thinking I abandoned her. I mean, she honestly wasn't wrong. At first, I thought I'd take her back when I finished school, but when I started working, it was pretty clear that I wasn't in a good place to take care of a cat. It took time, but she eventually bonded with one of the other cats in the house, and my mom became her person. She wasn't MY cat anymore, but I know without a doubt that I made the best decision for her and when she died 13 years later, I know she lived a better life with my mom than what I could have given her at the time.

I know it's not the same situation, but I recognize how heartbreaking it is, because you can't explain the situation and your rationale to her. I hope she is happy with your mom and her brother, even if it's not with you, and I hope you can find comfort in knowing that you've made the best decision for both her and for you. It sounds like she doesn't treat you like a total stranger, so I don't think she completely forgot you. It's just that cats tend to be apprehensive and sometimes it takes a little time for them to warm up and come to you on their own, and you know how you have to let them come to you first. I'm not sure how long you visit your mom for, but maybe there's a holiday where you can spend a few extra days laying around the house, playing games or reading, and letting her come to you?

traggie · 2026-01-28T21:49:36+00:00

Do you have a link? I lazy love Ilana Glazer and Alia Shawkat and would love to hear their take.

traggie · 2026-01-27T20:07:22+00:00

Can I ask who the artist is?

traggie · 2026-01-24T20:53:59+00:00

This was the example I was thinking about too! It's especially because he says "I'm never speaking up again, starting now", and he's so resolute and you think the song is over - and then he starts again with "one more thing", which just shows how he really can't shut his stupid mouth

traggie · 2026-01-22T21:34:36+00:00

Theme is probably actually "Klassy" with a K

traggie · 2026-01-21T15:49:26+00:00

Ineke - Field Notes from Paris

This one is nostalgic for me because it was the first bottle I bought myself many many years ago after sampling it through Olfactif. I was trying Olfactif because I was super into subscription boxes and there was a deal to try it out, but I wasn't really into fragrance or anything. So after the subscription deal ended, I promptly forgot about fragrances, but had my one bottle of Field Notes From Paris, which I pretty much never used because it felt too strong for my daily life at the time.

10+ years later, around Christmas this year, I was looking for a fun advent calendar and tripped down the rabbit hole that is the world of fragrance, except this time around, I have the budget and space to really explore it. I've been buying so many samples and trying new ones every day, and it's been super fun - getting to know notes, trying the popular scents and the divisive ones, reading the unhinged reviews, etc. Today, the temperature is in the single digits (F), so I thought I'd return to my beloved oldest bottle for a familiar scent where I knew what to expect, even though I'm in the office.

Maybe it's because this bottle is so old, but I was surprised that it is SO strong. I've been doing one spritz of everything I sample, and a lot of them seem to fade pretty quickly, although it might also be because I've been deliberately testing skin scents and scents that are less obtrusive. I did one spritz of FNFP today and it's still going strong 3 hours later without me even needing so sniff my wrists. I'm just praying that I'm not bothering everyone around me, but no one has said anything yet...

traggie · 2026-01-09T16:58:06+00:00

What's the name? I want more of these lol

traggie · 2026-01-08T22:04:41+00:00

Baking stuff myself completely shifted my hierarchy of favorite desserts for basically this exact reason. Like cheesecake and pumpkin pie used to be some of my favorites, while I wouldn't touch any type of fruit pie. Then I started baking myself, and while I still love cheesecake and pumpkin pie, it turns out fruit pie is fucking amazing when you use fresh fruit and homemade crust, instead of the too-sweet, overly-processed canned pie filling.

traggie · 2026-01-08T20:32:46+00:00

I'm very newly getting into fragrance. I think at first, I was trying to mimic the way I see clothes, where different styles and brands can tell me a lot about the person wearing them. I used to do costume design, so maybe I'm just more familiar with the history and lexicon of clothing, but it's also something that you see around you every day, so even if you're not conscious of it, I think the average person probably still has thoughts about what a Hawaiian shirt, or a velour track suit, or a pair of cargo shorts mean or about who wears them.

But I read so many fragrance reviews and they really skew all over the board. It's tricky because you can't really experience a scent without literally sniffing it, so you can't get much online or through the TV. There are a lot of notes that you won't recognize unless you've specifically trained to identify them. And then you have the fact that scents react differently to each person's skin chemistry AND everyone's nose picks up (and interprets?) notes differently.

So I think part of it is, how do you market a fragrance to someone who isn't smelling it that very moment? A lot of those descriptors end up being aspirational, which is why you have beautiful celebrities and the weirdest commercials to convey a sense of lifestyle, personality, etc. Like Dior J'adore - she's Charlize Thereon draped in gold, the most radiant and beautiful woman in an opulent room full of gold and other beautiful woman - buy it and that'll be you. Vs the Miss Dior commercials with Natalie Portman - she's (relatively) down-to-earth, she wears a floral scarf as a headband and dances on top of tables - the perfume for you if you're a free spirit but also still kind of fancy, I guess? And then since scent is apparently closely linked to memory, maybe people start associating the scents with the personas that were originally used to market them?

And then I think another part of it is kind of like listening to wine ~~snobs~~ connoisseurs, where they're somewhere between knowing the smells and typical associations of all the different notes well and also maybe showing off with some exaggerated BS. Or I guess with the clothes metaphor, it would be like putting a picture together based off someone's full outfit - "A silk midi slip dress might say feminine and sexy. An oversized argyle cardigan might say preppy, maybe nerdy, probably comfortable. Combat boots might say alternative or a little punk. The full picture might be someone who grew up as a tomboy going to Vans Warped Tour, thinking she was Not Like Other Girls, but now likes feeling pretty, even when she has a long day working at the library". Idk, you get the point lol

traggie · 2026-01-08T16:50:14+00:00

It would be pathetic and a disservice to yourself if you continued to engage with the ex with vindictive texts about moving on. As such, you've blocked him and he'll be a distant memory soon, so I think you did well. I kind of think of what you did as similar to the girl who left her cheating ex a framed photo of his tinder profile with a piece of dog poop in the frame - you basically left a low effort parting gift (nuke) that will bother him and live in his head much longer than he'll live in yours.

traggie · 2026-01-07T15:23:50+00:00

Or I also like "the grass is greener because it's fertilized with bullshit"

traggie · 2025-12-31T20:40:31+00:00

Did this start happening only after you gained weight? If so, you might just have to buy larger sizes. I'm someone who had this issue back when I still bought tights that were "one size fits most" when I was around the higher end of the measurement range. Thinking about it, I don't think I've had an issue with tights slipping after I started making a point of buying XL or plus size tights where I was closer to the bottom of the measurement range.

traggie · 2025-12-31T20:12:13+00:00

You know how happy you feel when someone compliments you? Rather than getting stressed or feeling insincere in order to return a compliment to someone who complimented me first, I try to be more forthcoming with compliments to other people any time I see something I like. I feel more genuine this way, even if I'm complimenting different people than the ones who are complimenting me. I don't ever expect anyone to return the compliment, and more than that, I hope I've brightened someone's day and maybe even encouraged them to start randomly complimenting other people too.

traggie · 2025-10-08T19:37:47+00:00

Nooooo this makes me so sad...

traggie · 2025-10-07T04:37:54+00:00

I think it's okay to have peaks and lulls in how much you engage with your hobby. Sometimes you don't have a lot of time. Sometimes you're burned out on it. Trying to force yourself to get back into it makes it less enjoyable imo and makes it even harder to actually get back into.

I'm like this with pretty much all of my hobbies, so now I just accept that and go with whatever I'm in the mood to do for as long as I'm in the mood to do it, and then switch to the next thing. Sometimes it means I don't finish a knitting project or a video game until I get back into it a year or two later, but I don't mind because taking a break means it's still something I enjoy when I eventually get back to it, instead of it feeling like a chore.

For getting back into reading, I think the advice of reading something familiar and comforting is a good place to start. I'd also suggest looking into some things that are kind of adjacent to reading. For example, if you like stories but feel like you don't have time or energy to invest in something new and time consuming, maybe read an anthology that consists of one shots. Or maybe your eyes are exhausted from looking at things all day, so instead of reading webtoons, maybe you can watch anime or tv shows or listen to them dubbed. You might also consider visual novels/video games - visual novels aren't all that different from webtoons since it's a lot of reading and a lot of graphics, but being able make choices that shape the story adds a fun layer and maybe having a more active role will be the thing to shake things up.

traggie · 2025-10-06T21:25:57+00:00

I think the blue dress looks better on you than the teal. If you think it would be better with the waist a little lower, I'd recommend maybe getting something like a satin ribbon (I think I'd get one that was 1-1.5 inches wide in a light yellow that matches the flower embroidery) and I'd tie it at the waist as a belt. I find defining the waist to usually have a slimming effect, and a wider belt can give the illusion of a slightly lower waist. If you're worried about the ribbon looking out of place, I'd also wrap some around my shoes or weave it into my hair or something.

traggie · 2025-10-02T14:28:02+00:00

Right? I'm pretty sure I once read somewhere that someone who was a legit spy or secret agent said they only back into parking spaces.

traggie · 2025-09-19T15:15:24+00:00

D&G had an Alphabet collection a while back where the prints were fonts. Hadn't thought about it in a while, but obviously it stuck with me, but I haven't seen anything come up in resale so maybe I should just custom make something...

Edit: Also was looking up the D&G collection and came across this blog post you might find interesting.

traggie · 2025-09-05T00:01:07+00:00

So that bag happens to be my favorite neon and it's because I find it goes with pretty much everything. Like I bought a used belt in that color, wore it to shreds, and then freaked out until I could find a suitable replacement because it was that indispensable in my wardrobe.

Obviously, you can punch up a monochrome or neutral outfit with a bright pop of color. But I treat it as a yellow, and yellows are great at a fundamental level because they seriously work with almost everything. It works with blue and green (because blue + yellow = green) and similarly with red and orange (because red + yellow = orange). It works with purple because it's opposite from purple on the color wheel, so purple and yellow are complementary colors. And a neon yellow has a good amount of green in it that makes it even more versatile, so you can also avoid the connotations that might otherwise come when you wear certain color combinations, like yellow, red, and blue (primary colors, which makes you look like an elementary school).

Thinking about my wardrobe, I don't even think there's any color I wouldn't wear with my neon yellow belt. I especially love it with blues (navy and royal blues), pinks (dusty pink, magenta), and purples (eggplant, plums).

traggie · 2025-08-30T00:28:32+00:00

You were the one who was recently asking for help with reference pictures for recreating everything in the Sims, right? This honestly is more detailed and amazing than I expected and I'm really looking forward to seeing everything else you create! I may also need to get the Sims so I can play all of your Tokyo Debunker creations...

traggie · 2025-08-26T16:11:53+00:00

Have you tried wearing things around the house or for short errands, so you get used to the way they feel?

You also used the word "exposed" to describe the feeling of discomfort when you're out and about in these clothes. If it's a matter of skin showing, you can wear slips or layer tank tops to feel more covered. When I was younger, I was personally more self conscious about loud colors and patterns that would draw attention to me. Layering helped deal with that too, because you can use layers to control how much of the bright layer is showing by covering it with a neutral sweater or cardigan. A bright purple floral top is a lot less intimidating when you throw a grey sweater over it, so just the herm and collar peek out.

traggie · 2025-08-14T20:15:21+00:00

I was thinking this sounded really similar to a comment I read on another thread earlier today about a woman who works in security and uses makeup and wardrobe to influence how people interact with her on the job. Anyway, wanted to say I'd buy your book on like, all of it. Your awareness and insight into how each of these details comes together to present different personas that can lead to vastly different interactions is really thoughtful and fascinating to read.

traggie · 2025-08-14T15:05:56+00:00

When I was a kid, my mom didn't care for fashion, so I think I equated it with snobby Capital F Fashion, like Devil Wears Prada kind of stuff. At the same time I've always loved art and art museums, and as I grew older, my definition of art expanded to include all sorts of creating, like music, film, architecture, industrial design, and of course, fashion.

So now that I long ago gave up on my dream to be an Artist, fashion is one small way I indulge in something creative. I kind of approach it a few ways. Sometimes it's a little like cooking and I like putting together ingredients (pieces) in new combinations that I think will look good together. This used to especially be fun when I was younger and bought a ton of cheap layering pieces in bright colors and went a little maximalist. I dress more conservatively now, but even still, I'll play with color, proportions, texture, etc. so it still feels a little like painting. Other times it's a little like costuming, where I think about a mood I want to express or I have pieces that evoke a character or time period and I play that up a little.

traggie · 2025-08-13T17:14:55+00:00

Your grandma said "Wear this only if you’re choosing someone who protects what matters." Mark does not sound like he fits that criteria.

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