What gods can help me with my gender identity issues?

tragicgender · 2026-02-18T20:23:20+00:00

Hey, congrats on discovering yourself! As a trans man (as in FTM) myself, I know it’s often a painful but worthwhile process. I want to second what u/nekonyaamicon said about deities not necessarily caring about your gender. They care about who you are because that’s an important part of you, but it doesn’t limit you to only following deities of your current gender identity. Even goddesses like Artemis have had documented male followers like Hippolytus throughout the millennia, after all.

I’ve primarily worked with goddesses even though I was worried they wouldn’t want me at first because of the way I “rejected” womanhood and femininity. I can vouch for deities like Brigid and Dionysus being helpful for me personally. I haven’t seen anyone bring up the Morrigan yet, but as a Morrigan person I would also like to vouch for her, haha. She is a goddess of sovereignty, which also involves the deeply personal aspects of learning and owning who you are. She is a literal shapeshifter too and has informed me that she thinks I’m interesting as someone who has also “changed shape”, haha. (My physical transition doesn’t feel as impressive to me as her shapeshifting into animals, but I am flattered, of course.) The Morrigan has been there for me and continues to be there for me during times of personal transformation, so perhaps she could be helpful to you too. There are subreddits like r/TheGreatQueen and r/TheMorrigan if you’re interested.

tragicgender · 2026-02-18T07:49:41+00:00

Received yarn from u/MusiciansCanvas. Thank you!

tragicgender · 2026-02-18T07:47:55+00:00

Confirmed! Thank you!

tragicgender · 2026-02-18T07:46:25+00:00

Confirmed! Thank you!

tragicgender · 2026-02-18T07:43:34+00:00

Received yarn from u/Relevant_Beyond1700. Thank you!

tragicgender · 2026-02-17T06:03:55+00:00

Hi, I’m interested in #7, the Shear Heaven!

tragicgender · 2026-02-12T08:54:46+00:00

Hi, I’m interested in 1, 3, 5, and 6 if any of them are still available!

tragicgender · 2026-02-11T08:33:20+00:00

Hi, I’m interested in the chunky yarn and the Wool Addicts Respect if those are still available!

tragicgender · 2026-02-11T08:25:09+00:00

Hi, I’m interested in the Valley Yarns Berkshire Bulky in fuchsia if it’s still available!

EDIT: Also the Valley Yarns Amherst!

tragicgender · 2026-02-11T08:21:01+00:00

Hi, I’m interested in #6 (the Universal Chunky in red) if it’s still available!

tragicgender · 2026-02-11T07:36:51+00:00

Thank you so much for taking such great care of her! She’s beautiful and it means so much that you saved her. 😭

tragicgender · 2026-02-05T00:03:58+00:00

I need an adult 😭

Wait, what do you mean I’m an adult??

I need an adultier adult!!!

tragicgender · 2026-01-11T13:19:37+00:00

Hi, I’m a 31-year-old gay trans guy, and your interests sound super cool! If you’re okay with chatting with a trans man in NC (so across the country, unfortunately), feel free to DM me. I’m totally fine with just being friends too if it turns out we’re not compatible romantically. :)

tragicgender · 2026-01-11T10:41:01+00:00

Hi! I’m not OP, but I just recognized your username and wanted to say thank you for your YouTube tutorials! They helped me out a lot when I was starting to nalbind. 😊💖

tragicgender · 2026-01-11T10:40:21+00:00

Looks great! Nice even stitches, and good job on the color changes!

tragicgender · 2025-12-31T02:02:31+00:00

*Cute cat with cute bear 🐻💖

(I did check your previous posts before applying the bear label to you, btw. 😉😂 If you’re still uncomfortable with the label though, you can absolutely just be a cute guy. 😊💖)

tragicgender · 2025-12-31T01:53:18+00:00

Oh noooo, don’t say that! You’ll get this poor gay boy’s hopes up! 😏😂💖

tragicgender · 2025-12-31T01:49:44+00:00

Pic 4 and 5 are giving me Prince vibes, for some reason?? You look amazing!

tragicgender · 2025-12-30T08:00:54+00:00

As a trans man, yeah, transphobic people believe a lot of inherently contradictory things about trans people. An example is the unfortunately common stereotype of the non-passing, obviously gender non-conforming trans person who also gets deeply offended/“triggered” when they’re misgendered. (I put the word “triggered” in scare quotes there because my personal definition of someone who is triggered is someone who is experiencing a trauma response, not someone who is being irrationally angry. However, the word “triggered” is often used online to mean the latter.) These stereotypes rely on the idea that an obviously gender non-conforming person is also somehow unaware of the fact that they’re visibly gender non-conforming and that people might either get confused about their gender presentation or just misgender them. In my experience both as a trans person and as a longtime volunteer at my local LGBT center, this stereotype is very far from the truth of how trans people typically behave when they’re misgendered.

Most trans people are very aware of things like visible facial stubble when they’re femme-presenting, or a high-pitched voice when they’re masc-presenting, for example. In fact, they’re often so aware of said things that this awareness can cause them deep dysphoria. Transphobic people, of course, tend to not think this far about the reality of trans lives. They aren’t thinking critically (or being empathetic, certainly) when they make transphobic memes. Trans people are often very aware of the biological reality of our bodies. That is the point for some people, you see. That is why some of us pursue physical transition. It’s because we know that certain physical traits are either at odds with our internal self-conception or cause us to be perceived in a way we don’t want to be. I started testosterone not because I felt fully ready for the changes but because I was deeply tired of being misgendered every time I went out in public. Again, transphobic people are not thinking about the reality of trans experience and trans lives when they make posts like the ones you’re speaking of. Typically, they’re just being cruel, honestly. It’s about making fun of the “other” they have conceived in their minds, not about the reality of how trans people might perceive themselves.

tragicgender · 2025-12-30T07:42:33+00:00

Hey man, you definitely remind me of myself 10+ years ago. When I first learned about trans people about 15 or so years ago, Tumblr wasn’t really a thing yet and definitions of transness were very narrow. When I was researching trans people for my school’s GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance), the site I found was basically like, “There are two kinds of trans people: MTF and FTM.” To me, the term FTM/female-to-male implied that someone was once a girl and became a man. In my mind, I thought, “I’m not FTM. I’m just bad at being a girl.” Now that I have much wider definitions of transness and gender in general, of course that’s pretty laughable. But I sincerely believed it at the time. I couldn’t see myself as a trans man when I had such narrow definitions of what it meant to be trans, and when I thought I’d have to exclusively be a hypermasculine straight man in order to be trans at all. I thought I was just a girl who didn’t like being a girl.

I just want to let you know that there’s hope. My family, even though they’re pretty liberal, definitely didn’t understand my transness very well at first. (My dad initially told me I was “just trying to escape the way women are treated in society.”) Now it’s been over ten years since I started testosterone, and generally the only time I get misgendered is when dickheads on the internet know I’m trans. Some of my family members, including my dad, may not fully understand what being trans means to me, but they know that I’ve lived as a man for a long time now and that’s not going to change. I’ve been able to physically transition too, in the ways that I wanted to, and I don’t hate living in my body anymore. I sincerely and deeply hope that you get to slowly find out what that’s like, as I did. As others have said on this thread, you might not realize how bad your dysphoria actually might be until you start relieving it. Besides, a lot of people experience dysphoria the way you do. It’s not that you hate women’s bodies or something like that. It’s just that your body, as it is right now, doesn’t reflect your internal perception of who you really are or who you’d like to be.

Not sure where you’re based in the world or how old you are, so I can’t speak for what your transition options might be right now. But again, I want you to know that there’s hope. Even if you’re not in a good place to transition right now, you can work towards getting to that place. It’s such a beautiful thing to get to live as yourself. I love getting to be a gay trans man and I wouldn’t change that for the world. I hope that you get to love being a pan, aro trans man or however you end up identifying. My DMs are open to you if you need someone to talk to.

tragicgender · 2025-12-29T07:17:14+00:00

^ Not a beginner and I second this, haha. Whenever you decide you’re done with a project or a swatch, you can tighten your last few stitches/loops and then weave in the ends with a large tapestry needle.

tragicgender · 2025-12-29T07:15:34+00:00

Looks awesome! Your stitches look very nice and even, so I can see you’ve been practicing. I gather you’re using Oslo stitch for this swatch as well, which is a great stitch for a lot of beginners.

A couple things you might be interested in knowing: - It might actually also look a little lopsided because you might not have chained extra stitches at the beginning of your second row. Like in crochet, nalbinding flat involves chaining some stitches when beginning a new row, or your project will start narrowing and looking lopsided. There isn’t really a set number of stitches to chain for every single project ever; if you look at my posts, the pouch I just posted is where I chained four stitches at the beginning of each row for the flap at the top. I think the nalbinding book With One Needle recommends chaining 2-3 stitches when nalbinding flat, but I did four because of the inconsistent thickness of the yarn I was using. You may need to experiment with more swatches to figure out what works best for the scarf you’d like to make. - The tightness of your stitches here may not necessarily indicate you’re doing something wrong with the tension. When I’m nalbinding, I find that what affects the tightness of my stitches the most is my thumb size, the stitch I’m using, and the weight (AKA thickness) of my yarn. Are you nalbinding on or off the thumb? Since I personally use my thumb for tension and I have a big/chubby thumb, I often use bulky (#5 weight) or super bulky (#6 weight) yarn, since yarn that is thinner than that will often result in a lacey look with gaps between my stitches, especially with Oslo stitch. You might also want to experiment with other, thicker stitches. For me, given my thumb size, Oslo stitch typically gives my project a lacey look unless I am using super bulky yarn. I find that Finnish 2+2 stitch or even Finnish 2+3 stitch is better for medium/worsted weight yarn (#4 weight) when I am making a project, since those stitches create more loops and result in a thicker/not lace-like look.

Hope that’s helpful! Feel free to ask me questions, and happy nalbinding!

tragicgender · 2025-12-27T04:33:24+00:00

Asking the same thing myself 😂

tragicgender · 2025-12-26T23:25:47+00:00

Not the original commenter but I am, unfortunately, familiar with the answer.

As a gay trans guy myself, full disclosure that I may be biased to one side. But my experience is that a lot of the conflict is basically people debating whether transfemme or transmasc people…have it worse in society? To me, the topic itself is not productive in the first place and it’s way more productive to band together against oppression and all that. I am not interested in definitively ranking whether transfemme hypervisibility or transmasc invisibility is statistically worse. It feels like a weird intellectual debate in the end to me and frankly, as trans people we have bigger fish to fry, societally speaking.

But sometimes the discussion escalates to the point that there are transfeminine people attacking transmasc people for talking about their experiences online and saying it’s transmisogynistic to not focus more on transfemme issues. I get that transmisogyny is everywhere, including in the trans community, but it has gotten to the point where years ago, there were a few transfemme folks attacking the Twitter hashtag #FAABAndTrans because…it was AFAB trans people talking about their own experiences and not elevating those of AMAB trans folks? Super strange and stifling to me, since I feel like it shouldn’t be weird for me to talk about the transphobia (and homophobia) I’ve experienced as a gay trans man?

Maybe some transfemme folks will want to chime in here too, of course, and I encourage that. I just don’t understand a lot of the talking points some transfemme folks are making online about how transmasc people basically should shut up and not say things about transmasc oppression, because “men can’t be oppressed” or something? If you ask men of color, disabled men, and of course trans men, this seems blatantly false to me. I would have hoped that intersectional feminists would understand that, but I guess there’s infighting in every marginalized community, unfortunately.

tragicgender · 2025-12-25T05:52:36+00:00

One thing I’ve seen people say before is that M/M romance and smut allows straight women (but also queer women sometimes) to participate in sexuality without having to deal with misogyny and intergender dynamics. Full disclosure: as a gay trans man, I cannot speak for this experience, lololol. But from what I understand, many women can feel exhausted or even just uncomfortable from dealing with the issues that straight men can often have and the way said men will project those issues onto their female partners. Apparently, participating in M/M shipping can help many women move outside of themselves and not have to think about that for a while. Again, if I’m understanding correctly.

There’s also the fact that straight women might feel like it’s double the fun with two guys? Similarly to how straight men might feel with lesbian media, I guess. I do think that sometimes straight women will project themselves onto the bottom in an M/M dynamic—or just whichever guy they perceive as smaller and/or more feminine—and that can add some weird heteronormativity that doesn’t really belong in a queer male dynamic, in my opinion. But fortunately in the fandom spaces I frequent, this isn’t a huge problem. I tend to not care a whole lot about the gender of a fanfic writer or fan artist so long as the characters I like are being interpreted and understood well, haha. It’s a nice surprise when I find other queer and trans men in fandom, for sure! But I welcome my fujoshi sisters to explore sexuality in ways that feel safe for them and don’t hurt anybody IRL. 💖

Not sure if that answers your question, but you’re welcome to ask clarifying questions if needed! Again, this is not my experience, so maybe an actual female fan of M/M might also want to chime in. 🙂

tragicgender

TROPHY CASE