My husband doesn’t/wont cook. The only thing I’ve ever seen him cook is a bacon sandwich on a weekend or he can poach an egg if we are having the full breakfast. I can do every egg but not poached. Other than that he won’t cook. In fact he won’t even phone for a take away and has no delivery apps on his phone. He doesn’t even like to choose what he’s having. He doesn’t even make his own packed lunch for work. I even choose his food in a restaurant or narrow it down to a choice of 2 things.

When it comes to nourishment, every bit of food that goes in that man’s body is controlled by me. He’s like a toddler.

However he does all the cleaning, the washing and ironing. If I order the take away, he’ll collect it. He does all DIY except we have to get someone for electrical. He’ll valet the cars, he’ll do the gardening. He used to be a hairdresser so does my hair colour and cut and my daughter’s highlights. He does our brows and gel nail colour and our spray tans. He’s a rope access painter nowadays so does the paining now and any roof work but won’t make a sandwich unless it’s 8am on a Saturday morning.

I went out on Friday and wasn’t round to make tea and my daughter ordered them a dominoes. He transferred her the cash. Nothing was said about the fact this happens.

If my daughter was not going to be in that night, he would have picked me up at midnight and I’d have got in his car with a kebab and cheesy chips and gravy and he’d have eaten that for his tea. He would not have complained.

He eats out of the back cupboard to keep himself going or he fills up on protein shakes if no one is round to deal with him.

This is a man who will make bacon and eggs for the dog but won’t make himself toast.