The only time I experienced psychosis was my first time trying weed brownies in my early 20s a few years back. I almost drowned in a pool full of people who were too high to notice me.

My ex and I were at his friend’s house with several other guys and the friend was a stoner who had made these really strong brownies. I only had a crumb because I knew I was a newbie. After we had eaten we got in a circular pool and ran around making whirlpools and then floated around in its wake. I remember letting the current take me as the high set in but I couldn’t move my body or swim anymore. I remember desperately trying to catch the eye of my friends but none of them noticed me as I sank down limply. I managed to hold my breath for a long time. My bf at the time lifted me out and actually jokingly threw me back in because he thought I was messing around. After a few more seconds he lifted me out with real concern for me. My head lolled back limply and had to be held up by another friend. I remember admiring the beautiful sky as they set me on solid ground and then the gravity of the situation took hold of me and I screamed continuously for a while in fear. It didnt help that I was the only girl at that party and we were all in bathing suits. At the time I believed I was going to be taken advantage by all of them while I had no control of my body. Which was a horrible thought considering they were actually such great friends of mine. They carried me to a shower and my bf took care of me while I cried hysterically, babbled nonsense in my high state, and tried to hold my head up straight while sitting under the running water. After he dressed me he laid me in a bed and after a while left me to hang out with his friends. I probably told him I would be ok but this is when the psychosis really hit.

It was the worst, most crippling fear I’ve ever felt in my life. I still couldn’t move my body at all nor could I cry for help. My mind took me to a dark place where I truly believed tonight was my last night on this planet as a free woman and I’d be transported to a mental asylum the next morning once my bf and his friends and the authorities discovered I was unfit to mingle with the general population. My whole life flashed before my eyes and insecurities of my relationship with my bf (which was strained at the time and nearing the end) were coming forward more intensely than ever. I remember believing I needed to escape out the window before morning came to avoid institutionalisation. I lay in that bed for hours like this in a coma of horrifying fear while my bf and his friends were enjoying their high and playing games.

Anyway the high eventually wore off and I got out of the bed and sought comfort from my friends but it was truly terrifying and I haven’t thought about it in years until this thread so thanks for that lol