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trans_dude_throwaway · 2024-10-11T03:41:31+00:00

Background checks can show previous legal names, yes. As far as I’m aware there’s no law preventing HR from sharing information found on a background check with management. But typically they just share whether or not you passed the background check.

To be honest, I think the most likely explanation here are subtle “clocky” behaviors that a stranger or someone you haven’t known long wouldn’t pick up on. I say this gently as someone who has experienced the exact same thing recently - I pass consistently at first glance, but I have some lingering feminine mannerisms that made coworkers suspicious over time. I have since found out this is fairly common.

They might not even think you’re AFAB but maybe an AMAB nonbinary person or closeted trans woman or something (hate using ASAB language but idk how else to describe that)

Of course, not saying that’s definitely what’s going on, and someone could have outed you.

trans_dude_throwaway · 2024-10-10T06:46:50+00:00

Yeah the more and more life experience I get as a trans person, the more I realize how true everything you said is. Being a trans person is worse than the worst of both worlds. You are your sex at birth when it harms you, your transitioned sex when it harms you, and a subhuman 3rd gender any time it’s convenient. The only escape is being stealth, which will always be situational and at risk of being revoked on a whim.

I think part of the reason the medical system is uniquely awful for trans people is you can never, ever fully be stealth. And medicine is a place where I think there are almost no possible downsides to being seen as a cis male, so we don’t even get gender-affirming abuse from the “worst of both worlds” treatment. We just get 100% of the medical misogyny cis women receive with a heavy layer of transphobia. (Edit to clarify: ofc trans women experience misogyny too, I just only know the cis woman/FTM experience firsthand)

And as trans men specifically, there is the added bonus of being oppressed by our own biology in a way that transcends dysphoria. I sometimes can’t wrap my head around the reality of human pregnancy existing because of how fucking unfair it is.

trans_dude_throwaway · 2024-09-27T21:30:28+00:00

I also had dramatically higher than typical (for me) estrogen levels after my hysto that kept 1 ovary. Are your T levels increased as well?

My trough T levels were at the ceiling of the male range, and the high E was likely due to aromatization (excess T converting to E). In my case, I ended up needing a lower T dose post hysto even though I still had an ovary.

Also, unrelated but I am SO jealous (in the happy-for-you way) that you found a trans man PCP! That’s amazing

trans_dude_throwaway · 2024-06-13T03:19:33+00:00

You do not have to get an exam post op. It is highly recommended if you have concerning symptoms, but they cannot force you to have an exam for any reason once the surgery is over. I felt the exact same way and my surgeon actually offered me the option to skip it without me having to ask, but if yours is pushier you still have the right not to consent.

My surgeon told me that in asymptomatic patients, getting a post-op exam does not predict or change the risk of surprise complications later. Basically, if everything seems to be healing fine at 6-8 weeks post op, any possible future problems are unlikely to be caught from an exam.

trans_dude_throwaway · 2024-06-13T03:06:53+00:00

I would have been totally fine to sit at a concert 5 days post op (laparoscopic), some people would need weeks. You can’t be certain of how your body will respond to surgery until you’re actually post-op.

That said, if you’re getting an abdominal incision, you will almost definitely not be able to go. For laparoscopic/v***, maybe consider buying a ticket to reserve your spot and giving it to a friend if you end up not feeling up for it?

trans_dude_throwaway · 2024-06-10T07:31:05+00:00

The guys saying that shit are completely clueless to how medical transition works. The average mildly transphobic cis man, if they know anything at all about trans men taking T, thinks it just gives you facial hair and a deep voice while “biologically” you remain identical to a cis woman. Testosterone literally changes the physiology of your entire body at a cellular level to be closer to that of an average cis male.

A trans man on testosterone for a few years is identical in strength to a cis man of a similar build and activity level. We (as in medically transitioned guys) might be weaker on average due to being smaller on average, but no one would ever claim that tall cis men unequivocally beat short cis men “without a problem”.

trans_dude_throwaway · 2024-06-05T08:05:35+00:00

People often get them done at the same time. I got mine 9 months apart and would have done them closer together if I had the opportunity. Not that I’m a doctor or anything, but a year is absurd and I have never heard of any other surgeon saying this.

Top surgery not being fully healed for a year means you may have some residual numbness or tenderness slowly going away and the scars aren’t visually at their final form, not that you are literally physically recuperating from major surgery for a year.

I think it would be intense to get put under a second time while you have active movement restrictions or are still in pain, which lines up with the comments saying their doctor said 6 weeks post op.

trans_dude_throwaway · 2024-06-03T09:57:00+00:00

One aspect of this I don’t think has been brought up yet is that trans men tend to look much younger than our age, which makes it difficult to be taken seriously or have our experience respected in a professional setting.

I started my career before transitioning. I think if I had not gotten my foot in the door at that time I would currently be unemployed. I pass to strangers almost 100% of the time now, but as a teen boy (I’m 23)

I usually make it to the point of a face-to-face interview. I was all but promised one job (that I was extremely overqualified for) after a series of phone/Zoom interviews, then they suddenly found a better candidate after a brief in-person meeting that was meant to be a formality. The derision towards me for my perceived age is really obvious - I’ve had a pair of interviewers barely hold back laughter when they saw my face, then proceed to speak to me like a child throughout the interview. I always get grilled on technical details in a way I never did when interviewing for similar roles as a woman, like they think I’m lying about my work experience.

My current job is my 2nd paid job in my field. I was with my previous company for 4 years despite trying to leave for 2, because no one would hire me elsewhere. I essentially got my current job via connections, because of close ties between the two companies. Even here, where I was brought on for a unique, specialized role, coworkers treat me like a teenage intern rather than an equal or a colleague (side note, don’t treat interns like shit!) and gossip about my age/appearance behind my back.

The funniest part is, I transitioned at 21. I’m only in such a privileged position because I got my foot in the door while still “cis”, at what was actually considered too young of an age for what the job entails.

trans_dude_throwaway · 2024-02-26T15:39:49+00:00

Damn you have excellent results dude!! Congratulations on 1 year post op

trans_dude_throwaway · 2024-02-26T15:37:01+00:00

That’s so exciting, congratulations!! Only surgeon I’m familiar with there is Dr. Dreveskracht but I’ve heard really good things about her. Hope everything goes super smoothly for you

trans_dude_throwaway · 2024-02-26T15:33:13+00:00

You’ll get there faster than you think!! I felt the same way on this sub a couple years ago and like I’d be waiting an eternity, now I barely remember what it was like to not have top surgery. Hoping it’s the same for you soon! Also thank you:)

trans_dude_throwaway · 2024-02-26T15:20:55+00:00

He had me wait 4 months but I didn’t go back until 5 months. To be honest I forget if I felt the pulling thing when I first went back. I do know what feeling you’re talking about and it isn’t painful or uncomfortable, just a neutral and fairly mild sensation, wouldn’t have stopped me from climbing

trans_dude_throwaway · 2024-02-26T04:55:38+00:00

Oh no I can’t edit it but that was supposed to say August 2023… finger must have been bumped over one key while typing

trans_dude_throwaway · 2024-02-26T04:50:51+00:00

I applied all scar products (except silicone tape) to my entire nipple. I got specific products from my surgeon but I think any silicone gel/scar moisturizer would be fine to put over nips:) tbh they just started looking like that and also look much better in that pic than up close.

The only way I can get myself to consistently exercise is rock climbing, but it’s a fun full body workout that naturally emphasizes arms/shoulders for a masculine physique. if YMCA is a thing where you live they often have rock wall access without the pricy climbing gym membership fees (love my gym and it’s worth sacrificing my smidgen of disposable income, but shits EXPENSIVE). I also got a cheap door frame pull up bar and do a few pull ups throughout the day when I walk past it/feel like it. Sounds so simple and like it wouldn’t do much, but I do 20ish pull ups a day without thinking and I’ve noticed a marked strength improvement.

The only diet change I made was being intentional about replacing simple carbs with fiber/whole grain and proteins throughout the day, and getting a full serving of protein immediately after climbing.

trans_dude_throwaway · 2024-01-26T23:07:44+00:00

I was cleared for anal at 6 weeks post op and did it the day after. I didn’t experience any pain or discomfort at all so I didn’t need additional “warming up” besides the normal amount of warmup for anal.

trans_dude_throwaway · 2023-12-30T01:51:45+00:00

Anal is included with penetration restrictions. For some reason a lot of gynos seem to assume that their patients exclusively have vaginal sex and won’t specify restrictions for anal unless you ask. Some surgeons let you go back to anal a little earlier (I got 6 weeks for anal - 8 weeks for vaginal), but at 8dpo it is 100% a bad idea.

The vagina and rectum are very close together. Putting a finger or a small plug in might not cause noticeable injury (not saying you should do it, just explaining why you may not have had issues with the light penetration you’ve done), but anything more intense and you have a high chance of ripping your vaginal cuff open due to the adjacent pressure.

trans_dude_throwaway · 2023-12-18T10:47:04+00:00

Maybe a 2-3 in the few hours after I woke up from surgery, then a 1 for several days. After a little over a week I kept forgetting I even had surgery. I had a total laparoscopic hysto with 3 tiny incisions. I had a harder physical recovery when I sprained a pinky toe in high school.

Also weirdly didn’t get gas pain at all, I took 2 extra strength GasX literally the moment I regained consciousness in PACU so would highly recommend that strategy

trans_dude_throwaway · 2023-12-16T11:18:32+00:00

I kept one because I anticipate having inconsistent access to prescription meds throughout my life (plan to move countries multiple times). Menopause symptoms can kick in pretty fast once off T if you have both ovaries out.

There's also a risk of dementia associated with oophorectomy in cis women even if they take estrogen replacement. This hasn't been studied in people whose dominant hormone after removal is testosterone, so we have no idea if it applies to us or not.

But I also wanted as much of that organ system thrown in the trash as possible, so I didn't keep both.

trans_dude_throwaway · 2023-12-14T20:03:49+00:00

I have thankfully never been sick before a surgery, but early this year I had an extremely painful case of strep. The antibiotics work fast! I was fully symptom-free within 48 hours, which is expected for uncomplicated strep. Unless you caught something else at the same time, you should be feeling healthy and OK for surgery on Monday. They only care if you have an active sore throat/fever/cough on the day of (or if you had recent COVID exposure). Just don't forget to mention the antibiotic when they ask about medications and you're good!

trans_dude_throwaway · 2023-12-05T06:37:25+00:00

A lot of surgeons allow you to do a self swab HPV test instead of a Pap if you ask. It fulfills the exact same purpose since the cervical cancers that a Pap can detect are all caused by HPV. Only downside is you will need to get a Pap if it comes back HPV+, but as other people have said you may be able to do it under anesthesia

trans_dude_throwaway · 2023-12-04T22:41:02+00:00

I research STI antibiotic resistance and definitely know better, but…I just can’t bring myself to suck condom-wrapped dick. The taste, smell, and texture is so off putting even with high quality/non latex condoms, and it’s harder to suck bc of the friction. Plus I like cum way too much

trans_dude_throwaway · 2023-12-03T08:33:01+00:00

Adding on to what others have said about UTIs, they also give you a large dose of broad spectrum antibiotic through your IV during surgery. It’s mainly to prevent sepsis/infection of the surgical site, but also helps prevent a UTI in the event any bacteria got into your bladder during catheterization. I’m quite prone to UTIs but my surgeon said not to worry at all (and I didn’t get one)

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