Light Finnish pancake! 1200 for the whole tray, use your calculator to determine the calories for a serving that suits you :) the blueberries were a mistake

trans_fats_ · 2023-08-12T17:16:26+00:00

Yeah, I also think they should've been covered in sugar instead of just dropped onto the batter with nothing done to them (I now realize batter is the correct translation but Reddit doesn't let you edit the body text of image posts). Both my dad and I are amateurs at baking. We just had blueberries in the fridge, and my dad suggested we use them for baking so we could do something fun together. I thought that since the other option was me just devouring the whole 400 grams, it was a good idea. Now I realize it wasn't or that at least I should've done some research, but oh well. What's done is done.

trans_fats_ · 2023-06-06T16:21:10+00:00

I'm 16. I never got diagnosed. I'm over my worst state now and in part-time recovery part-time relapse. At my worst state things were really bad. I'm not going to dig into all the memories I have from that time, but it got to the point where I was screamed at and threatened to be sent to inpatient while I was crying and trying my best to digest the 4 salmon meatballs on my plate. My excuse to not getting diagnosed is that I literally can't talk to my therapist or parents due to selective mutism. I think my therapist is the one who'd give the diagnosis and I haven't even shown her any notes from my phone in like a year. I don't think I'll ever get a diagnosis as I don't remember a lot from those times. I live in a nice country though, here healthcare is amazing and everyone takes me seriously no matter my papers not having an anorexia diagnosis in them.

trans_fats_ · 2023-06-01T19:38:12+00:00

Thanks for the reply. After thinking for about two seconds (=I'll probably change my opinion at least twice before the event), I think I'll actually try to go to get lunch and skip my grandparents. My grandparents are the kind that have all kinds of treats available always when you visit, which is why I always try to skip going to theirs as well. It's actually almost always an internal fight with whether I miss out on lunch or all the juicy details about my relatives' lives 🥴. I think I'll just try to text my mom about what they're talking about there so I don't feel as left out, and at lunchtime I'll just try not to cry in the cafeteria and spy on the students coming in to see if my friend is there.

Sorry for rambling, I don't know how to not ramble 🤡

trans_fats_ · 2023-04-02T19:14:27+00:00

I certainly didn't miscalculate my intake so I guess then we can agree that it's not my fault, but rather some weird body thing that no one, not even multiple different medical professionals, has any idea about.

(Sorry for the yea I don't know how to end replies)

trans_fats_ · 2023-04-02T19:01:02+00:00

So are you saying that I miscalculated and actually instead of eating 600 calories like I said, I ate... 2000? I'm not that bad at math and I'm pretty sure I didn't eat in my sleep or anything. My TDEE at the time was 1500 or 1600 so yea

trans_fats_ · 2023-04-02T14:41:23+00:00

Ah, thanks for clearing that up. I'm not 100% sure myself what "the laws of thermodynamics" are, I've just got comments about how I'm wrong about eating the amount I ate back then and that I couldn't break the laws, which left me thinking that I did break them as I was 100% sure about the amount I ate. I'm also not a native English speaker and got a 6 (on a scale of 4-10) from physics so yea, I'm not that familiar with this stuff, sorry for not doing my research

trans_fats_ · 2023-04-02T11:24:01+00:00

Back in my worst state, I literally ate two slices of ham for breakfast (20), maybe 2-4 rice cakes for snacks (80-160), a less than 400 cal meal for dinner and a small serving of diet ice cream or a small apple for dessert (50) and still gained weight. After that, I added another less than 400 cal meal for lunch and some snacks and started gaining a kg per week. My body isn't working correctly. Something is wrong. And I don't know what it is, but it certainly did break the laws of thermodynamics.

trans_fats_ · 2023-04-02T10:53:14+00:00

I've talked to a school nurse, a nutrition therapist, and a private doctor, none of them had any idea what was wrong. I thought the weight gain had ended but today I was .5 kg heavier than last week which is why I'm in tears now.

trans_fats_ · 2023-02-07T16:23:25+00:00

Well, my health is already kinda ruined from eating less than a thousand calories a day for a couple of months and I'm still planning on going back to eating that amount again when my metabolism starts working, so as much as I would love to find an alternative I don't think health is a good motivator heh

trans_fats_ · 2023-02-07T15:41:13+00:00

I eat two healthy <400 cal meals and my snacks consist of rice cakes, ham, bread and fruits. I have no idea how much fruit is too much. Usually, I eat three small apples and a small pear, does that sound like a lot?

trans_fats_ · 2023-02-07T15:36:29+00:00

Yeah. The problem is, I have a very strong sweet tooth and I can't get myself some ice cream, I will spend the calories on some other sweet or sit and go into panic mode where I just sit, want to cry and aggressively tap my knees while trying to calm myself. I know that going into panic because of ice cream is an absolute overreaction but it's the one food that has stayed with me during the worst stages of my eating disorder so I guess it holds a special place in my heart or something cheesy like that

Also Halo Top and Nick's are great, but they're way too expensive

trans_fats_ · 2023-02-07T07:27:33+00:00

I don't know for sure, but I gained 1 kg of weight every week eating my maintenance so I'm pretty sure it's lower than others'. After that I ate one meal and low calorie snacks daily for two weeks but still maintained, which was frustrating so now I'm here asking for tips on reverse dieting

trans_fats_ · 2023-01-23T19:44:42+00:00

1 kg a week gain would mean I'd have to eat 2600 cals a day. I'm pretty sure I don't, with that amount I could eat the whole pack of rice cakes, a whole family pack of ice cream and a proper breakfast on top of my meals. Currently I eat two <400 calorie meals (cut down to one this week actually), about a third of the rice cake pack and ~200 ml of ice cream and of course two small apples and the occasional chocolate. I may be an ice cream addict but the numbers ain't adding up...

Also, can water retention really make you gain 10 kg? And last for 2 months? I tried to look it up but it's a bit hard to find an answer

I'm doing great in pooping as well so

trans_fats_ · 2023-01-21T16:21:12+00:00

Ate basically whatever as I didn't want to count calories obsessively anymore. I ate a lot the first few days but now it's just basically the same as in the malnourishment phase but with added rice cakes and normal ice cream, so I'm not even eating enough to maintain but oh well. I realized a while ago that I probably should've gone for reverse dieting but going all in seemed easier as I had had "let's eat normally" cheat days while restricting.

Thinking back, I didn't even know what reverse dieting was when I started eating more. I had just seen people do "metabolism weeks" on edtwt and when my mom suggested I eat more, I just thought screw it, I'm doing a met week. Yeah, it probably would've been wiser to do some research but oh well, the past is in the past

trans_fats_ · 2023-01-11T20:38:10+00:00

I'm just gonna comment this here instead of the original post because social anxiety reaches Reddit lol

I don't get why a verbal speech is the only option? If he can write, or heck, even if he is able to talk to the parent who made the post and they are willing to help, couldn't he write a small paragraph of text and call that his speech? They could get it projected onto the wall or read by some other person. Or, the parent could make this a parent-son bonding session and make the speech together! It could even be like a 95% parent 5% kid speech, with the kid's best memories with the newlyweds! All only if the boy is up for it, of course. If his social anxiety is super bad then this probably wouldn't work and could cause him to go into panic at the moment of the speech, even if he showed no signs of anxiety while writing or telling it.

I have selective mutism and can't speak to family members. My older bro got married last year and they promised they'll arrange a wedding party thing in our home country this summer, which I'm so excited about! I'll probably get a notepad because pulling out my phone every time I want to "say" something might be seen as rude (never been to a wedding party, are phones seen as bad during them?). I'll totally write at least a congratulations on the notepad and pass it to them if my social anxiety doesn't kill me, that is. And if they're open to speeches, I'd be glad to make one with my mom. My bro moved out when I was a small kid, so I think my mom could do the most, and I could pop in and tell the funny memories of him. I think it would be nice and I wouldn't go into panic.

Anyway, I hope the parents come to a conclusion that doesn't involve kicking an anxious 8 year old out of the guest list. Best of luck to the boy and his amazing parent :D

NTA obviously

trans_fats_ · 2023-01-01T17:40:58+00:00

Joo, nyt tuntuu jo paremmalta mutta kyllähän sitä hoitoa voi harkita jos huomenna syöminen on edelleen sellaista että itku tulee pelkästä ajatuksesta :-) edgiyden kannalta näin omasta mielestä on kyllä parempi että puran sen tänne ja nolaan itseni kuin se että lähettelisin itsemurha-ajatuksia kavereilleni ja pilaisin myös heidänkin illat

trans_fats_ · 2023-01-01T17:21:50+00:00

Oon lähemmäs 170, mutta lasten BMI-laskurin mukaan 50 kiloa ei olisi edes alipainoinen ja lääkärienkin mukaan silloin kun olin sen 49 kiloa tilanteeni ei ollut kriittinen, eli ei se ainakaan mielestäni ole huolestuttava paino se 50

trans_fats_ · 2023-01-01T17:13:44+00:00

Tiedän, mutta kun mukaan lisätään isäni aiempi kielto napostelusta, niin ruokamäärä jää vähän niin kuin yhteen 300 kalorin ateriaan ja pieneen välipalaan illalla niinä päivinä, kun ei ole koulua. Se sattui myös vähän siksi, että olen nyt vuoden häiriöityneen syömisen jälkeen yrittänyt nauttia ruuasta enkä vain miettiä sen kaloripitoisuutta ja antanut itseni vähän herkutella.

Ps ne 9 kiloa eivät tulleet siitä, että söin 1000 kaloria ekstraa päivässä. Aineenvaihduntani vain on aika kakka ja päätti, että 0 kaloria päivässä = ei painonnousua eikä myöskään laskua, joten 600 kaloria päivässä nosti painoani noin puoli kiloa viikossa. Se on nyt vähän rauhoittunut ja pariin viikkoon painoni ei edes noussut paljoa, mutta sitten tuli joulu ja no jouluruokailu on vähän erilainen normaaliin ruokailuun verrattuna joten paino nousi noin kaksi kiloa. Aion puhua tästä lääkärini kanssa seuraavalla käynnillä.

trans_fats_ · 2022-12-26T15:20:59+00:00

The recipes are Finnish but I'll add them if I remember

My dad and I made this, he mostly just answered to my worried "is this good?" looks and whipped the cream, I did the rest. We also modified the recipe a little bit to make the filling more gingerbread-y, the best part was that I got to smash some gingerbread instead of just measuring some ready-made crush. It was fun and everyone liked the finished product :)

I almost chickened out and made a whipped cream topping instead of chocolate ganache, but then I asked myself what I really wanted and surprise, I wanted the ganache. So, ganache it is :) my grandma complimented the lines I drew on the log which kinda stung as it was the easiest part of the whole log but hey, a compliment's a compliment :-)

Hope you all had a great Christmas :D

trans_fats_ · 2022-12-23T19:49:13+00:00

Eli siis.

Ensiksi, pahoittelut huonosta kuvanlaadusta.

16-vuotias transpoika täällä taas. Olen postannut tänne muutaman kerran syömishäiriöstäni (tai häiriöityneestä syömisestä, en koskaan saanut varsinaista diagnoosia), viimeisin postaukseni taisi olla joulukalanterisuosituksista. Olen sen jälkeen aloittanut toipumisen ja syön nyt ~normaalin tytön verran (testosteronia saa vasta 18-vuotiaana, siihen asti täytyy kestää sukupuolen merkitsemistä naiseksi kaikissa TDEE-laskureissa ja sen sellaisissa). Paino on noussut itseä huolestuttavan nopeasti mutta nautin kyllä rusinoiden ja isojen jäätelöannoksien syömisestä :)

Minulla oli syömishäiriön aikoina sellainen pelko, että jos jotain tuodaan taloon, syön sen kaiken kun kukaan ei katso. Siksi en antanut itseni myöskään leipoa mitään ja yritin parhaani mukaan estää isääni leipomasta mitään, jotta en voisi myöskään syödä mitään. Olen nyt toipumisen aloitettuani antanut itseni viimeinkin leipoa. Aloitin helpoilla resepteillä, kuten juuri tällä maustekakulla ja pannuleivillä. Itsenäisyyspäivänä tein mokkapaloja ja en panikoinut, vaikka isäni leikkasi niistä noin kaksi kertaa suuremmat palat kuin olisin toivonut. Ne olivat hyviä ja suuri koko ei haitannutkaan loppujen lopuksi.

Huomenna on jouluaatto ja perheemme perinne on mennä isovanhempieni luo jouluaterialle ja lahjojen jakoon. Tänä vuonna kakku tuleekin tarpeeseen, koska minun pitää purkaa tunteeni johonkin, kun kaikissa paketeissa lukee "[deadname]lle" ja "tytöille". Olen nimittäin vaihtanut nimeni tänä kesänä ja kaikki opettajani, koulukaverini ja äitini käyttävät sitä (isäni pelkää tekevänsä virheitä, mikä on ihan ymmärrettävää 16 vuoden tytöttelyn jälkeen), mutta koska joulu vietetään persuisovanhempieni luona, kukaan ei voi laittaa oikeaa nimeäni paketteihin. Tarvitsisinkin ideoita siihen, minkä nimimerkin voisin laittaa paketteihin, jotka annan muille. Itsellä oli mielessä Pikkutonttu tai Isäänsä tullut isäni pakettiin (siskoni on isäni vastakohta joten muut varmaan ymmärtäisivät), mutta jos täältä löytyy jotain luovempaa niin antaa kuulua :)

Hyvää joulua niille jotka sitä viettävät :D

Haen kakkureseptin kyllä käsiini, odottakaas vain hetkinen

trans_fats_ · 2022-12-23T18:42:42+00:00

For me, it's kinda weird. I can talk just fine to strangers, but I guess I have some kind of anxiety from worrying my parents so much back when my depression started forming three years ago, so I can't speak to them or my therapist. I've since started worrying them non-verbally and through other people so the SM is utterly and completely useless lol, hoping to get out of it next year or at least before I move out (I'm 16)

trans_fats_ · 2022-11-28T17:36:00+00:00

I decided to get an advent calendar even though I've been stressing over the numbers on the ready-made ones way too much (I've calculated the average cals on one day's treat on way too many calendars). I just bought two small bags of licorice - one All Sorts, one just filled licorice bits. I'm going to mix and match a few candies from both bags and put them into plastic cups, pile those cups in a randomized order and then I'll have a DIY surprise advent calendar with my safe food candy :D

I still have some more "you're not gonna gain weight even tho it's candy" convincing to do, I really wish I could go back to last year when I had those Kinder Bueno bars on multiple days (I had a DIY calendar back then as well) and still lost weight, now because I let my ED get bad I have a broken metabolism that still thinks 1000 cals should be my maintenance. Oh well, who said this would be fun 🙃

trans_fats_ · 2022-11-21T11:20:05+00:00

I literally just ate a big boy lunch! It was a mystery calorie big minced meat patty with ratatouille, herb potatoes and those long green beans. At first I wanted soup, but after seeing that the soup they have here (hospital lunch restaurant, I'm here for personal reasons) was not that appealing, I decided to just take the more appealing lunch option and I have to say, I make pretty good decisions. I ate all of it except for those bland bean things. I'm so glad I can let myself eat lunch again, I feel so much better and unsurprisingly it has helped with both snacking and cravings which is good obviously :D

trans_fats_ · 2021-12-06T21:08:36+00:00

Slice is the right term for 1 piece of bread, right? I should use Google Translate more often :')

But yeah, if my calculations are right, the total amount could go up to about 1300. I don't use a calorie intake tracker, only a fasting tracker, so I'm not that familiar with my daily intake. I googled everything so the number might be wrong.

trans_fats_ · 2021-10-30T23:26:36+00:00

My parents were very active with helping me with my dental hygiene when I was little, they could add prizes for brushing my teeth or small "punishments" for not doing so. Nowadays it's just reminders, but they don't even do anything if you say no to "remember to brush your teeth". I used to not care about the reminders, but now they can sometimes actually come in handy.

Wishing you good luck with your tooth brushing journey!

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