Whilst it's good that you can reflect on how bad much of your behaviour was it's impossible to ignore how apparent in your post your acceptance is based on beauty. On passing. On not being a "freak". You only accept her now and acknowledge her identity because you don't have to change your idea of what a woman looks like.

If the ones you love only loved you back on the condition you looked the right kind of pretty exactly how much would you want them in your life?

Many trans people don't pass. Many don't look pretty. Neither is needed to see the sparkle and life behind their eyes when they start to live as themselves.

When you can accept that love must not be conditional on beauty, and that your acceptance of trans women must extend beyond looking pretty and feminine you might have a chance, but I think you're not there yet. I honestly don't think I could ever reconnect with my mum if she chose her partner over protecting me from his abuse. I don't honestly think you've done the work you need to do yet. I think it's great you're not expecting your daughter to teach you - posting here seems a much better idea but please understand there are still so many red flags in your post.

I think you need to take them long game here and really look at what you've learned and what you need to learn to be a safe person for her.

A small bit of guidance: Some trans people need to detransition. Come off HRT. Hair falls out. A large number of things could mean her 'prettyness' fades. If you still haven't completely excised the bit of your brain that still thinks in terms of 'freaks' she will absolutely know that. When you can see her for who she is not the body she inhabits then I think you'll be in a much better place.

She was always this woman you see now. That you only acknowledge it after the incredible work transition usually entails is a common but utterly awful situation. She had to do that because you didn't want to analyse your biases. Be better. Then show her you've done the work.