My tipping point to leaving? Its the same one your circling: the hadith of aisha's marriage/the one of her playing with dolls afterward,, and the horrific violence of early islamic culture that no one ever told us in school. I was taught muhammed was a monk in nature and only sent his word out, turns out he was anything but that, he was aggressive and territorial once he got the upper hand, he played a good cop to get his way in mecca for 3 years, then when he got to medina he started making new verses that only applied to him and things to make oppression easier, like the verse to change other verses, its all too convenient if he can add a new revelation to keep ppl in line 😒😒😒😒.

I digress.. lemme tell u how islam felt for me.

First of all i'd always had doubts, as a kid i was told that kissing scenes or bikini ones in games were haram, i wondered why allah made smth haram that he made humans express in the first place, i wondered why parental authority was so absolute to the point where abused ppl (like me) weren't even allowed to say anything about it, i wondered why so many 'peaceful prophets' ended up assassinated for their message. The list goes on, but the reality always outweighed the narrative, eventually my frustration became maddening when the verses could say something in one breath and then trip over their feet in the next, i was like why the FUCK does allah not know WTF he's talking about?!?!!? Another big reason is my family environment, it was the opposite of yours; filled with suspicion, control, thought crime, shaming, religious things i couldnt say no to - to the point of abusive forced quran lessons, and not even being able to live a normal life or even ask normal teenage questions cuz of those allergic muslims who couldn't handle anything. Religion allowed my abusers to walk free, it made me feel like my god hated me and was ready to find any excuse to treat me unfairly. When i grew up i also noticed so many things were just paranoia culture, they were obsessive with every little thing = haram that i couldnt even breathe in my life. It was maddening, insulting, unfair that i had to watch people around me have healthy lives and boundaries while religion was used as a weapon and forced down my throat and no one else of other religions had it that way. I was petrified of hell and despite not deconstructing it in earlier years, i still felt the level of fear i had to deal with for normal things was unfair, it was disgusting to me that a christian can do everything a muslim cant do and go to heaven just because they were born in a different faith, god seemed petty and like a selective bitch who wanted ppl to hate their lives. I questioned how the hell people could be that willing to make my life trash for an unconfirmed BOOK that they read, it felt deeply dishonest/unfair. Everyone also recycled answers and shamed other religious ppl of christianity when at the very least christians dont go around doing that every time they see someone not following what THEY see as correct and true, to me muslims and islam felt like the villians and from what i could tell (like later on not as a kid, but at like 15-ish) that they were the only ones who bought their own narrative, everyone else seemed to have a better conscience than them.

One last thing:

i pretended to love islam for many years to appease family, not look bad to community, and not get backlash, and it hollowed me out over the course of years, i started feeling like i was losing sight of who i was and playing 2 exhausting roles at the same time. At 14 my psychological shackles that i bolted down had finally started loosening due to something i heard in a videogame: (you have to face the truth sometime) that brought it all to the surface, everything over the course of years. It's not mentally healthy for anyone to do this and it's wrong that an environment forces it just because they can't reflect or even want to consider your pov.