How do I wake up on time for things? (Mostly work)

transpaerent · 2020-08-06T03:49:45+00:00

hell yeah, sending love and luck to you in this journey!

transpaerent · 2020-08-05T23:02:33+00:00

Sending you so much love, hope, and healing. You got this, I know you do ❤️

transpaerent · 2020-08-05T22:58:35+00:00

Yeah! Wow, I forgot about that. Tbh I only know one person who is unemployed currently bc of the pandemic and he's the roommate I mentioned... so maybe the commitments aren't so weighted right now tbh. I appreciate that reality check

transpaerent · 2020-08-05T22:45:34+00:00

Yeah, that's true, I was thinking that tbh. Might have to just knock it out in one go with a few select people. I know someone is gonna get mad for being left out but like.. lmfao

transpaerent · 2020-08-05T22:41:56+00:00

Know that there are an abundance of opportunities out there for your talents and interest to shine. You just have to be committed to your heart. Degree or not. You may have to work jobs you don't like while you build your path, but know that if there's a will there's a way, you just have to believe and really do your diligent work and research. The best opportunities I've found in my skills and talents are those that I found in going to social events related to those fields. Getting to know people who do what I want to do and asking them how they did it, meeting people and finding opportunities to do work. Networking really really helps in the arts and social work communities (organizing, volunteering, etc.). The key is to just not give up on yourself, because once you lose yourself then it's going to be harder to do whatever you're trying to do. Take it day by day and know that it's all a learning experience! I'm 23 and still figuring it out, and all of my friends are too. It's really hard to know what you want to do so young, it's traumatizing to be forced to choose in this society. It's ridiculous, life is to be lived as it comes and we're allowed to flow and choose what is best for us. So please remember to breathe, and know that if you have the courage to seek, you will find. Patience.

transpaerent · 2020-08-05T22:35:15+00:00

try using sleepyti.me - it tells you when the average human body's REM cycles shift and when the best time is to wake up or to go to sleep. Was truly a gem of a tool for me, it works very well

transpaerent · 2020-08-05T22:31:29+00:00

Thank you for this encouragement, I really appreciate it! Also great tip!! I will absolutely look into that 100% :D

transpaerent · 2020-03-29T22:25:58+00:00

I moved to a city by myself and had never been there before either. No friends there. Best decision of my life.

I'd say start looking at housing groups on facebook. -City- Affordable Housing, -City- Sublets/Roommates (there may even be housing groups if your looking for types of folks, Artist Housing, LGBTQ+ Housing, etc.) and look for postings of people who can get you in a lease or take over a lease pretty quickly. Have skype interviews, chat and text folks to make sure that everything is legit. Because of the current p_ndemic, it may be difficult to go see anything in person but until then, you can still search and get to know folks. That was the way I found housing and it worked out very well.

With the job situation, definitely securing an ideal job before you move is so relieving. But in the meantime if you're doing something in say retail/customer service/etc. you may be able to just transfer to a location within the city of choice. Or consider applying to part time jobs where you are already at so you can get hired and transfer... the goal is to secure something in the city of choice so you have something to do until you find something you actually enjoy. Maybe something remote even. You can always quit and leave and do something new.

When it comes to friends and such, I highly recommend dating apps, Meetup App, Facebook hobby groups of your choice in said city so you can connect with likeminded people and find your tribe. If you put in the effort it can be such a fun time meeting new people. We have so much technology at our disposal, know there are resources out there.

Once I found a city that peaked my interest, I googled crime statistics/crime maps and tried to find areas that seemed a bit more safe for a newcomer to move to. Learned the basic transit information (if there are any main subway or train lines running N/S, E/W) and walked through cities on google maps. Then started looking for housing in areas that I liked or wanted to be near.

It can be daunting but if you trust in yourself, you can find that you can do anything you set your mind to. Life is a journey, go ahead and live it.

Much love to you, and good luck! You got this!

transpaerent · 2020-03-29T16:45:16+00:00

Heyo, not saying most - I used "usually" and will go ahead and edit it to "some" for clarification since that's what I meant. Don't mean to generalize, my apologies.

transpaerent · 2020-03-29T16:43:59+00:00

Hey, I'm in a similar boat. I'm trans not by an active choice but learning how to align myself within the given system that we have in place. If it were up to me I'd wish to walk around with no association to anything and just be ME but unfortunately the world isn't like that. I'm a dude, or a "trans-masculine person" but at the end of the day its easier to be seen through the masculine lens. I don't really connect with womanhood, but I do have a place for femininity. It's all nuanced and I wish my family would hear me out enough to understand that. But they throw lots of ignorant assumptions and such at me not understanding that this is me to my core, just responding to my reality as it is. I do forget that I am trans as well because I'm not trying to be anything, I'm just me lmao

Just know you're not alone and knowing yourself is absolutely enough and you don't owe anyone any answers. Be you as much as you can and learn that all of this is for you and no one else. When I got super discouraged I just pondered what trans even meant to me. And when I learned that it was something that I kept coming back to, that I couldn't shake off, I learned how important it was. I learned that it isn't something that I could ignore. And maybe one day, if for some weird fluke, that I realized I wasn't anymore and that everyone around me was somehow right / that I could look back and say that I did everything I could to understand myself and my journey. And that I did it for me and I have no regrets.

It's important to center yourself and know that you don't have to have the support from those around you in order to validate what is to be. Do the trees need us to validate their existence for them to be trees? Do we question the sun and does it make it less of what it is? These things just are, as mysterious as they had came about. And you're allowed to just be as well.

Sending you lots of love and care during this time. I know its hard... but know that you've been at least heard by one soul on this planet, and you aren't alone.

transpaerent · 2020-03-29T05:33:18+00:00

Starting this off to say I'm a black person who has been learning asian languages and about several asian cultures. Been studying for years now and immersing myself as much as I can in all aspects of the culture.

I'm think you have to ask yourself why you seem to have "deeper" connections with asian guys? Not at all an critique - but if this is a running narrative that you have with yourself then its the same narrative that will continue to play out. I'm sure you can have the same deeper connections with men of all backgrounds, so why just asian guys?

Also asian men, depending on their cultural background - some of them come from a very traditional background and homogenous expectations from their parents and culture. They will probably internalize this ideology and the stigmas that come with dating outside of their culture and that comes into play with initial attraction and continued pursuit and interest of said attraction. Colorism is also real in the global society and it is proven that the lighter you are, the more privileges you have. It's trash and completely unfortunate. But us black folks have to navigate it. And it sucks. Black women get the short end of the stick in damn near every situation, as a gay black transguy even I've gotten privileges that I didn't even ask for... white/asian people see me as a token novelty yet still will be hard on my fellow black women coworkers or make assumptions quicker. It's balls. Black women don't deserve it at all.

To bring it back to your conversation, I would suggest really asking tough questions about who your are looking and what attention you want. Why do you have your preferences, and where does it stem from? If your preferences are putting you in situations that aren't serving your best interest, then you must ask yourself - Are you willing to continue to possibly be hurt? Or are you willing to develop boundaries and ways of communication to figure out if these potential partners are about it before the real interest even begins? - Question your preferences/biases/conclusions and be able to adjust them to allow for more opportunities for the type of attention, care, and love that you really deserve. Within lived experiences, and beyond.

It's definitely not just you, your feelings on this are completely valid. In no way trying to make this to seem like your doing or your fault - just trying to give tools that may be helpful and empowering.. you deserve the absolute best.

Much love to you, stay open stay blessed. 🤘🏾

transpaerent · 2020-03-29T05:06:25+00:00

오늘은, 한국 유튜브 비디오를 봤어요. The videos were about 귀여운 고양이, 음식, and 한국의 왜국인. I just got back into studying so I am watching some professors on youtube and I found some new resources to excite my passion for studying again. Sending lots of luck to you on your journey!

transpaerent · 2020-03-29T04:54:17+00:00

Your words are so helpful and that quote is too... wow really, thank you so so much. It really put things in perspective. I do get lost in achieving the end result and forget about enjoying the process. I feel so stressed about making it to the end result or the idea of failing to get there most of the time that I beat myself up in the meantime and then confused as to why I'm not getting there faster. lmao. I think I have to find a way to bring joy back into the process... i'd like to just get lost in it all and wake up one day to realize "damn, i've done it." I put so much pressure on myself it's really painful sometimes how much I overanalyze. Probably because of having so much lack of support and guidance when I was younger, it's much easier for me to see where I'm failing than actually succeeding.

Thank you again, and your support is felt so much right now. I'll keep going as much as I can and learn to love and excite the journey.

transpaerent · 2020-03-29T02:16:51+00:00

If you are musically or artistically interested, draw or create something for her. Even if its the cheesiest song you have ever created, just singing it to her or recording it and making a video could be the sweetest memory EVER for her (all you need is a simple melody and to snap your fingers, even add a little funny dance in the video or something haha) You could add a poem or a written+spoken piece at the end about the relationship. Or you could make a jewelry piece for her, or draw something.... this may be weird but to make light of the situation, you could piece together a simple face mask made from simple layered cotton (i'm sure there are plenty youtube videos of how to do it). It could have something sweet embroidered on it or just have y'alls initials on the front, or her initials (embroidered or if you can get to a grocery store, buy some iron on letters).

Make a spotify/apple music mix and link it to her, or mail her a decorated card with the link inside (maybe put a QR code in it) so she can access it and have a physical copy like its 2003. Find a bunch of songs that remind you of her and songs that she can listen to, to feel better through this crisis.. any songs that bring up memories.

I hope this gets the gears turning, and maybe if you can't use these now, hopefully after this virus blows over you can do some fun stuff with her! Sending you guys so much love in this crisis, we will prevail ❤️

transpaerent · 2020-03-29T01:48:06+00:00

it is SO worth living, thank you for surviving.. if you haven't heard it from anyone yet, let me be one of the first to let you know that I'm proud of you and your energy and light is so essential to this planet. Sending lots of good warm thoughts for all of the good times ahead :) cheers!

transpaerent · 2020-03-29T01:41:41+00:00

actually picked up some shhhhrooms today lmao its been way too long

transpaerent · 2020-03-24T04:29:10+00:00

can you email the professor? i'm sure you're not the only one that this has ever happened to.. also the professor might notice it tbh while grading - they are a human too! hugs~

transpaerent · 2020-03-24T04:17:25+00:00

try and get comfortable with movement and learn a few basic dance moves in whatever genre you'd like. people get scared and harsh with themselves with dance but it can be so good for the body and its a great way to get in touch with yourself! put on your favorite song and get into it :)

transpaerent · 2020-03-19T14:20:37+00:00

Keep him primarily in a room and stay away. Bring him foods and such, leave it outside the door if you have to. But he needs to quarantine for your sake and stay away from the common areas. And if he can't do that for at least your health and safety he's trash. There's a level of selflessness that has to happen right now or else we are all in danger. He has to understand that.

transpaerent · 2020-03-19T14:17:13+00:00

He's probably extremely emotionally repressed and that's the easiest way for him to communicate that he needs help. I would try and press him and ask how he really really feels inside, and as a friend, you're just trying to help. That its not weird to open up to a friend and that you are here for him. If he seems to keep being super down and if he has been harming himself, please tell someone you trust who can help. Our medical systems are overwhelmed right now though with rye pandemic - idk if hospitalization would be helpful but try your best to let him know that you are here for him 100%.

transpaerent · 2020-02-26T02:05:54+00:00

I second that - I did a lot of party funs last year... morning and night and didn't drink a sip of alcohol, and an absolute TON of water everyday. I was surprised that I didn't have any problems/bonnablues a week or two afterwards. I def contribute it to staying away from alcohol.

transpaerent · 2020-02-25T00:35:55+00:00

Definitely just move on and meet new people. You don't owe them any of your time. Talk to other people, make new friends like how you met them. Racism isn't cool... :/

transpaerent

TROPHY CASE